Hard

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Because of The Challenge, I got on the treadmill for another 2 mile walk last night, and about 10 minutes into it, I thought to myself, “This is hard.” Then I had these thoughts:

~No, trying on a size 16 bathing suit in a cramped dressing room with bad lighting is hard;

~Trying to find a pair of jeans that fit over my bubble butt is hard;

~Waiting until the lights are out before getting undressed in front of my husband is hard;

~Hoping my 11 year old son’s friends don’t tease him for having a fat mom is hard;

~Looking at my 7 year old daughter and hoping she doesn’t turn out like me is hard;

~Dreading my high school reunion NEXT YEAR because I’m a good 60 pounds heavier than I was in high school is hard;

~Being fat is hard;

2 miles on the treadmill – PIECE O’ FREAKIN CAKE!!

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6 thoughts on “Hard

  1. I think our brains are connected – all your list of hard things are the same things I often think about. Gulp. And you are right, getting on the treadmill for 2 miles is the easy part.

    Keep on keeping on and all that walking will pay off – no more 16’s or undressing in the dark.

  2. You should undress in the dark even if you’re a size 32. You need to accept your body before you can change it effectively. I love my body. I know it has faults. I’m short, big-boned, broad shoulders, huge tits, tiny butt, but it’s mine and I love it. I can walk miles without fatiguing. I did a 90 minute walk this week. I can carry the groceries up the stairs. I can drive a car if I need to go somewhere. I can clean my house and cook meals for my family. I don’t think I need to go on.

    My previous boyfriends, ex-husband, current man have always wanted to see my body. They ran their hands and other parts of their anatomy all over it. Your husband wants to do the same to yours in the light. Love your body. Feed it the food it needs to live. Move it when you want to move. Rest it when you are tired. Your body will thank you.

    By the way, my first two run/walks on c25K were challenging. After that, it’s been a cakewalk. You shouldn’t be pushing yourself so hard that you have trouble breathing or your legs feel like jelly.

  3. Hahahaha… that was great!! No joke.. we are sometimes willing to accept a terrible life just because the thought of exorcise seems like too much work!

    Hmph… not anymore!… you are kicking butt in this challenge and I am super proud of you!

  4. Good post, Jill. Great reminders of why you are doing this. It’s awesome that TL’s challenge is making you walk. That’s what race plans do for me. If it’s on my plan to run, because I am getting ready for a race, then I’m much more likely to run.

  5. 40by40

    I love this post–I have all of the same thoughts. It really puts the workingout in perspective..I wish I could have those thoughts before I eat too much pizza ( which happens to often). Great job on getting your miles in!! I LOVE THIS LOOK (of your page) If I wasn’t so dense with word press..I might copy you! 🙂

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