Hypocrite? Maybe.

I’m back!! I’ve just returned from the land of the flu people and am desperately willing away any sickness I might feel in my own body. My 7 year old is feeling much better (and she should be – I spent $80 on a scrip for Tamiflu – yikes!!) but now I’m afraid my 2 year old might be coming down with it. I hope it stops there – I can’t afford to take off work anymore! As it is, I’ll be playing catch up all this week and probably next week as well.

During my last few days at home, I have had time to think about what direction I want to take as far as my weight is concerned. When I started this blog back in September, I was fully into the Intuitive Eating thing and hating all things diet-y. Well, 15 pounds later, I’ve decided IE is just not working for me. I seem to take the concept of “no food is bad” and turn it into “eat anything and everything you want, whenever you want”. Oh yeah, that stop-when-your-satisfied rule of IE? I conveniently forget that part when I am partaking of any and all foods. I know that IE takes a long time to really conquer, but I can’t afford to pack on more pounds while I’m waiting to “get it”.

My body is telling me things – my back is aching from the weak stomach muscles and added fat around my middle. My knees are starting to creak and pop like Rice Krispies, and I feel like I am wearing a blanket of lead everywhere I go, I feel so heavy.

Apparently it was Dr. Oz Day on the Discovery Health channel (my favorite!) and what I learned was that losing weight is not just about the way I look on the outside. It’s no longer a vanity issue, but an issue of being as healthy as I can be. I know the IE folks will say that you can be healthy at any size, and I believe that, but I KNOW I’m not as healthy as I could be, so I am going to take measures to correct that.

I have decided to give Weight Watchers another go. I know I have bashed WW before, but I think I know a few more things than I did the last time I tried it. I now know that the Points are not the end-all-be-all. The points are a road-map to healthy eating. If I can learn what the Points are trying to teach me, I think I will be more successful and less stressed about losing weight. I also know that when I binge, there is a specific reason for it. It’s not because I am a loser, or have no willpower, it’s because I am either bored, or stressed, or bored, or mad, or bored =). I also know that I need the accountability of going to a meeting and weighing in and having someone else write it down. And plus, I like the social aspect of it. I like being in a room full of people who know exactly what I’m going through (that’s also why I love blogging!).

I am also going to join a gym and start taking this fitness thing seriously. I have felt like such a hypocrite lately – I haven’t run in over two weeks, and the couch gets more comfy every night! There is a Zumba class I want to take and a yoga class as well, plus on the off days I can run, cycle, or do the elliptical. The best part is, there is no contract. It is just month to month and can be cancelled anytime, so if I find myself not using it, I can cancel my membership and not feel guilty about paying for not going. Woo-hoo!

So to all those folks who have been reading my blog for IE support (if there any), you probably won’t like the direction I’m taking, but I have try something else. I think I have said this before, but for awhile I was on the fence trying to be on both sides at the same time. It isnt’ working that way for me.

It’s time to be a big girl and do whatever it takes to get rid of the extra fat and get my cholesterol down and my energy up. I’ve probably said that before as well, but now I have a plan of action. I’m going to try this for the next three months, then I’ll see where I am and if I need to make some changes, I will.

6 thoughts on “Hypocrite? Maybe.

  1. I tried the IE thing too. And ate my way to an approximately 20 pound gain in about 9 months.

    I, too, believe that people can be healthy at any size, but for me, when I am in the 180’s, I don’t like the way I feel, and that’s the weight I get up to when I am not careful about portions and what I’m eating. It’s happened 3 times in my life.

    I am an emotional eater. I know that. And yes, I’ve worked on why that is, but it’s still the way I tend to deal with stress, even though I am aware of it.

    So although I belive IE can work for some people, it was not a good fit for me.

    Good luck with the Weight Watchers. They weren’t my cup of tea, but I know people who have had success with it.

  2. I think this is a good plan for you. WW is great, I think, as long as you don’t eat the majority of your points in junk food (which is what I did when I was in WW and didn’t lose weight).

    I look forward to reading about your new plan!

    Hope no one else in your house gets the flu.

  3. I have read many blogs over the last 2 years and I have never read a successful IE blogger.

    And I personally hate the phrase “mindless eating”. Grrr.

    Good luck with weight watchers and the new gym!

  4. Hi, I just found your blog from your comment on ‘pastaqueen’ which i love reading. I am a weight watcher who didn’t like them or ‘programs’ or the points system when i first went. but i have lost over 90 pounds in the past 3 years, and i actually enjoy using the points system now. it didn’t take long for me to realize that they were just trying to get you to modify your behavior and teach you to eat low-fat, high-fiber. and i love eating that way now.

    when i went, i did know that the way i was eating wasn’t working for me, and there just had to be a way to eat/prepare GOOD food that was better for me. so, good luck with weight watchers, keep an open mind, just think of them as one tool to changing the rest of your life. ‘thin for life’ is a great resource book, and i love getting recipes and stuff from hungrygirl.com

  5. Thanks for the comment dschnabel!! I’ve done WW before and had a success with it, so that’s why I am going back. I will check out “Thin for Life”, and like you said,I will try to keep and open mind about it and just learn all I can.

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