I’m back!! I’ve just returned from the land of the flu people and am desperately willing away any sickness I might feel in my own body. My 7 year old is feeling much better (and she should be – I spent $80 on a scrip for Tamiflu – yikes!!) but now I’m afraid my 2 year old might be coming down with it. I hope it stops there – I can’t afford to take off work anymore! As it is, I’ll be playing catch up all this week and probably next week as well.
During my last few days at home, I have had time to think about what direction I want to take as far as my weight is concerned. When I started this blog back in September, I was fully into the Intuitive Eating thing and hating all things diet-y. Well, 15 pounds later, I’ve decided IE is just not working for me. I seem to take the concept of “no food is bad” and turn it into “eat anything and everything you want, whenever you want”. Oh yeah, that stop-when-your-satisfied rule of IE? I conveniently forget that part when I am partaking of any and all foods. I know that IE takes a long time to really conquer, but I can’t afford to pack on more pounds while I’m waiting to “get it”.
My body is telling me things – my back is aching from the weak stomach muscles and added fat around my middle. My knees are starting to creak and pop like Rice Krispies, and I feel like I am wearing a blanket of lead everywhere I go, I feel so heavy.
Apparently it was Dr. Oz Day on the Discovery Health channel (my favorite!) and what I learned was that losing weight is not just about the way I look on the outside. It’s no longer a vanity issue, but an issue of being as healthy as I can be. I know the IE folks will say that you can be healthy at any size, and I believe that, but I KNOW I’m not as healthy as I could be, so I am going to take measures to correct that.
I have decided to give Weight Watchers another go. I know I have bashed WW before, but I think I know a few more things than I did the last time I tried it. I now know that the Points are not the end-all-be-all. The points are a road-map to healthy eating. If I can learn what the Points are trying to teach me, I think I will be more successful and less stressed about losing weight. I also know that when I binge, there is a specific reason for it. It’s not because I am a loser, or have no willpower, it’s because I am either bored, or stressed, or bored, or mad, or bored =). I also know that I need the accountability of going to a meeting and weighing in and having someone else write it down. And plus, I like the social aspect of it. I like being in a room full of people who know exactly what I’m going through (that’s also why I love blogging!).
I am also going to join a gym and start taking this fitness thing seriously. I have felt like such a hypocrite lately – I haven’t run in over two weeks, and the couch gets more comfy every night! There is a Zumba class I want to take and a yoga class as well, plus on the off days I can run, cycle, or do the elliptical. The best part is, there is no contract. It is just month to month and can be cancelled anytime, so if I find myself not using it, I can cancel my membership and not feel guilty about paying for not going. Woo-hoo!
So to all those folks who have been reading my blog for IE support (if there any), you probably won’t like the direction I’m taking, but I have try something else. I think I have said this before, but for awhile I was on the fence trying to be on both sides at the same time. It isnt’ working that way for me.
It’s time to be a big girl and do whatever it takes to get rid of the extra fat and get my cholesterol down and my energy up. I’ve probably said that before as well, but now I have a plan of action. I’m going to try this for the next three months, then I’ll see where I am and if I need to make some changes, I will.