Flirting with Disaster

My boss (and before you read any further, no I am NOT flirting with my boss!) is approx 6’2″ and 300 pounds – he’s a big guy and he wants to lose weight. His cardiologist has suggested he try Weight Watchers and really I think he would do rather well. His wife takes very good care of him and would cook his meals and make sure he stays within his points and she will also reign him back in if he strays too far away from plan. He is very excited and I don’t have the heart to tell him my history with WW and how I think it is the spawn of Satan…mainly because I have been flirting with the idea of going to WW with him (my boss, not Satan). For the last 24 hours I have considered rejoining the ranks of New Year’s dieters. I have gained about 20 pounds in the last year since I quit dieting, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care, but really I think I am a much saner and happier person since I quit obsessing about food, which is what happens when I diet. But I really want to lose this weight…but I really don’t want to fight the food battle again…but I want to lose weight…but I don’t want to diet anymore. I’ve done WW enough times to know what I SHOULD do, but sometimes I just don’t want to do it. Sometimes I KNOW that a salad would be better for me, but I cannot resist the call of the cheeseburger. So even though I made the declaration that I would never go on another diet again, here I am contemplating that very thing. Why? Because it’s familiar and I know that I will lose weight at first. This *normal eating* thing is hard, much harder than a diet, but as I said before, I am happier and less crazy in spite of the 20 extra pounds on top of the 30 extra pounds I’ve been carrying for the last 10 years. So I think that for the sake of my sanity, I won’t join WW (again), but just concentrate on my running and be an adult about my food choices, and by that I mean making thoughtful decisions about what and how much and how often I eat. Sometimes I do things that I wouldn’t let my kids do (eat right before dinner, eat a steady stream of junk ALL afternoon, etc), so I think I need to be more adult in my food choices and tell my inner brat to just SHUT IT ALREADY! I will get my weight down eventually, but for right now, I think running and NOT obsessing about food is the healthiest choice for me. And if you are one of those who are on WW or any other diet and it is working for you, great! More power to you and I wish I could be like you, but I am not good at dieting and most likely never will be. I’m okay with that and I am thankful that I have other avenues (running, yoga, this blog) to help me in my quest for a healthier me. It will be interesting to see how a man does with WW – I’ll offer my support if he needs it, but I’ll do it from my treadmill and hope he doesn’t get the crazies like I did. But if 3 months from now when I write about how much weight he has lost and I start thinking about joining WW again, please refer me back to this post!!

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