Out with the old

I’m feeling oddly curious about my some of my behaviors this week, not sure exactly what to make of them.  They are uncharacteristic of me and I am wondering if change is afoot.   The other night I had kind of a funky tummy (inside, not out) and wanted something comforting for dinner: chicken noodle soup.  Not Campbell’s, mine.  Paired with some mini-croissants from the grocery store, my soup tasted fantastic and just exactly what I needed.  Its warm noddle-y goodness wrapped around me like grandma’s quilt and I felt so much better.  But here’s the alarming thing, I stopped at one bowl.  Do you need to re-read that?  I stopped!  Because I was finished! I was satisfied with the soup, and I wanted to save room for the chocolate pie I bought at my son’s insistence (crazy insane insistence!).  Normally, I would eat cns to maximum capacity, but that night, I didn’t want more. I KNOW! Amazing right?!  So anyway, I get my smallish piece of pie and bite into it and OMGosh what the hell is in that?????  It was like no other pie I have ever eaten and I don’t mean that in a good way.  I took one more bite just to be sure (I’ve always been one to give second chances), and yep, still disgusting.  So you know what I did?  I THREW THE PIE IN THE TRASH.  Major major breakthrough for me.  And the really interesting thing was that I didn’t even really think about it at the time, I just kind of did it.  Maybe IE really is starting to become intuitive for me.   Strange occurrence numero 2:  I made an attempt at yoga last night, and surprisingly, I was not the bumbling buffoon I thought I would be.  I DVRed Namaste Yoga from FitTV and when I got home from work, I shooed the kids outside and started in.  It was relaxing and energizing at the same time.  I really like it and I felt good, except when my 7yo daughter came in with her friend so they could gawk at mom doing some “yogurt”.  I quickly told them to go back outside and mind their own business, and I continued.  Where’s the strange occurrence you may ask?  Well the fact that I did yoga or any other kind of exercise is strange for me.  Oh, I go in fits and starts, but I’ve never found anything that I wanted to stick with, mainly because the only things I have tried have been walking on the treadmill and a short stint at jogging.  So this is really different for me, but I think I may do it again and see how I like it.   And finally the strangest of all:  Someone brought donuts to work this morning.  Not a big deal, but in my dieting days it would have sent me into a panic because I would have really really wanted one, but denied myself, and then had three.  In my pre-dieting days, I would have probably 4 and then felt awful from the sugar rush and subsequent crash.  But today, I had already eaten a very tasty and filling fried egg sandwich (it’s a southern thing), and so I wasn’t hungry.  Pre IE that wouldn’t have stopped me from having one, but I thought about it and thought about it some more and I decided the donut could not taste better than my sandwich, so I DECLINED the donut.  Yep, I walked away.  It’s really a strange and uncomfortable feeling to do the opposite of what I have done for so long, but somehow strange and uncomfortable feel okay right now.   I know, nothing earth-shattering or anything, just small but very significant steps to freeing myself from so much…mind clutter.  That’s what dieting was to me – clutter. Something that was always in the way, but I never could do anything with it.  So, I’m giving myself a pat on the back and a “you rock” for my tiny steps forward – yay me!

  One thought on “Out with the old

  1. October 14, 2007 at 3:25 am

    Yeah, yeah, yeah! As someone who spent years alternating between stringent dieting, food neuroticism, and overeating, I know what a significant success this is. I cheer you, applaud you, and join you in celebrating this victory. This is huge. I am overjoyed for you.

    In encouragement,
    Karly

  2. October 14, 2007 at 10:44 pm

    Thanks Karly! I appreciate it!

  3. October 15, 2007 at 3:33 am

    Yes, you do rock!

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