I started this blog because in reading other blogs, I wanted to leave comments that were a page long, so I decided I need someplace to think out loud – and voila, Sassy Pear was born. My intent was to make it a place where I could talk about intuitive eating and body acceptance, because I believe these are pathways to a happier existence for me. I believe that diets do not work, that exercise for weight loss is torturous, and that a woman’s beauty is reflective of what is going on inside of her. I really do believe all this – however, one day I suddenly panicked and decided I needed “A Plan” because I could not tolerate this fat any longer. I don’t know what set if off, but to be quite honest, I was scared and didn’t really believe that I was strong enough to live a life outside of the plan. So I found a plan, and was excited and felt safe again within the guidelines of a plan (notice how I carefully avoid the word “diet”. Sniff Sniff, what’s that smell? Oh yeah, that’s DENIAL). But then the old frustrations started to sneak up again – I don’t know how many calories this is, how am I going to track it? I know this cookie is going to send me over my calorie limit. I didn’t do any cardio today, or yesterday… sigh… I’m such a loser. Well, today the blogging forces are once again at work in my life, and I’m taking the hint. Thank God for these women and their phenomenal resolve to get the truth out there and run with it. I soak in the words of these messages and hope that I can actually live them. I want to be steely in my stance and not be so cowardly and run at the first sign of struggle. I am still not convinced that I am strong enough to do this, but when I think about it, I successfully tackle difficult tasks every day, so maybe there is something inside me that I can pull out to conquer this as well. So I am issuing a challenge to myself: for the rest of October, I am going to immerse myself in all the body acceptance blogs and resources I can find. I am going to find one thing that gets me in touch with the strength of my body (I’m thinking yoga, maybe?) and I am going to go shopping and buy nice clothes that fit me NOW, because I like shopping – it makes me happy. And I am really going to make the decision to work hard at IE and not backtrack into Dietland. I will learn to love this pear shape even if it kills me!
Categories: Yay Me!