Dear Birthday Cake,
When we agreed to meet last night, I looked forward to you with great anticipation and longing. I have been thinking of you a lot since last week when we agreed to get together for offspring #2’s birthday party. I even stood up that third slice of pizza, just so I would have extra room for you last night. When I saw you, you were beautiful – pink and purple flowers, every color of the rainbow frosting, and those thickly scrolled edges, Oh, how I licked my lips like Pavlov’s dogs!
But when I took that first bite, I knew something was amiss. You were a little… um, dry. And that lovely frosting? It was so sweet that I could almost feel the granules of sugar on my tongue. Suddenly, Cake, you weren’t so appealing anymore. Yes, I gave you a couple more chances to taste better, but each bite seemed to get worse and worse. I sighed in disappointment, and that’s when I knew…you weren’t forbidden anymore, so you didn’t taste as heavenly as I thought you would. Please don’t be offended; really, it’s me, not you that has changed. I suddenly no longer need you and you have no hold over me anymore.
I should be a little sad that our relationship won’t be what it was, but really, I am somewhat glad. Because this means that maybe I am finally growing up a little and realizing my taste buds are calling for something more adult than birthday cake. So I’m afraid it is goodbye for now Sweet Cake. I’m sure we will see each other again, and I may have one or two bites just for old time’s sake, but that is all. I’m off to find better, more satisfying things, things that will truly enhance my life, not just my waistline.