Me Too, sort of…

With the stories coming out about the trainwreck that is Harvey Weinstein and his scummy nasty history of sexual harassment and abuse, I think every woman in America is reflecting on her own stories of harassment and/or abuse. It is amazing how many women even have stories – I would bet 99.9% of women have been at least one story of harassment. It’s ridiculous.

And now there is a #Me Too trend on social media, where women are speaking up about their own experiences with sexual harassment and/or abuse. And some women don’t want to speak up about their experiences and that is perfectly fine too – no one should be forced to participate in something that makes them uncomfortable, especially when it has to do with social media. As I was reading about all of the Me Toos, this thought went through my head:

I’m glad that I was only harassed a few times and not seriously abused.

Um…how messed up is that??? I’m glad that I was ONLY harassed? It’s sad that I feel lucky that the harassment did not escalate. It’s sad that I was harassed at all.

So that’s why I feel like, #Me Too, But Only A Little Bit. It’s weird. And here’s why I say “only a little bit”:

When I was sophomore in high school, I was doing a play and if you knew anything about the drama department in high school, you’ll know that we were a cozy bunch. It wasn’t uncommon for someone, boy or girl, to walk up to you and throw an arm around your shoulders while you were waiting for a set change, or for someone to give you a back massage, or whatever. So when Jeff walked up behind me and put his arms around my waist, it didn’t surprise me. However, he then put his hands in the front pockets of my pants and began to massage my pubic bone with his fingers. That did surprise me. I froze. And being the naive good girl that I was, I simply said “uh can you stop that…it tickles” (it tickles…THAT’S the best I could come up with???) and he immediately walked away. What I wish I had done was kneed him in the groin and slapped his face and reported him to my teacher, but I didn’t. I don’t think I told anyone.

Another one off the top of my head is when I was working at a restaurant in college, there was one guy who worked there who I thought was funny and nice.  The weather had turned really cold and we were all talking about walking to class in the brutal chill when he said, “Did you know that the warmest part of the body is between the legs?” I thought this was like some sort of science-y anatomy lesson and I was all “Really? I didn’t know that.” (See above, naive) and he responded with a sly smile “Yeah next time my ears are cold, I’ll let you know.” EWWWWWWWW!!!! I think I freaked out a little and probably laughed because it was so unexpected. I walked away feeling super uncomfortable. I’m sure that’s not the worst thing that was ever said to me, but it’s the one that I remember the most.

Again, in college, getting ready to head out for the evening when an older neighbor at my apartment complex calls my roommate and I over and invites us in (his door was wide open and he saw us walk by). We didn’t know him very well, other than a friendly wave in passing. We go in (making sure door stayed open) and see that he and a couple of buddies are watching some hardcore porn and he starts asking me question like “Do you know what that’s called” and “have you ever done that before”. My roommate luckily grabbed my arm and we got out of there ASAP. We avoided that guy as much as we could for the rest of the year. No telling what could have happened if we had stayed any longer.

Also, one time I had this green shirt that I loved. I felt good in it, it fit well, I loved this shirt. I wore it to work one day and a coworker saw me and said “I like that shirt. Yeah…I like it a lot…that’s a niiiiiiice shirt.” It skeeved me out so bad, I never wore that shirt to work again. Oh! And same guy, after I had gotten my hair cut really short: “I like women with short hair, makes them look sexy.” I didn’t cut my hair short for 2 years after that – I let it grow as long as I could. I don’t know if that could be considered sexual harassment, but it made VERY uncomfortable. Asshole ruined my green shirt AND my cute haircut for me. Jerk.

I feel like I dodged many bullets in high school and college. There were many times things could have gone so, so wrong for me, but for whatever reason (a roommate with excellent intuition, a mom who prayed for my safety every night, guys who stepped in to make sure I was okay) I was left unscathed. And I am so thankful for that. I pray my daughters will remain unharmed also.

So yes, #Me Too, but thankfully, I didn’t get hurt.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Summer of Suspense

I mentioned in my last post that I belong to a bookclub. The name of our book club is “We Don’t Talk About Book Club” and so by talking about book club here, I’m violating the number one rule of book club. If I seem to drop off the face of the planet anytime soon, you’ll know who to blame and you’ll know why. We take book club seriously.

Very. Seriously.

(just kidding, no we don’t. I mean yeah we love it, but sometimes wine is involved, so…)

Anyway, one of our selections earlier this summer was Ruth Ware’s In a Dark, Dark Wood.

http://amzn.to/2y5zU78

I loved, loved this book! (And I have to tell you, my favorite thing about this book is the joke that Tara made when we selected it: “Is it cherry? Mahogany? Walnut? What kind of wood is it????”) If you love a good old fashioned whodunit, you will enjoy this book. Very Agatha Christie. There is a moment in the book where the main character is ticking off who the suspects are and their possible motives and I actually squealed with delight “YES! I freaking love this book!” The rest of the Bookclubbers loved it also, so we all agreed that our next selection should be:

http://amzn.to/2fY2yko

The Woman in Cabin 10 also by Ruth Ware. I also really liked this one and it kept me guessing the whole time. It takes place on a smallish luxury yacht with interesting characters. I especially love the end and the way… well shoot, I can’t say anymore because I don’t want to ruin it for those of you who haven’t read it, but trust me when I say it is suspenseful and a really great read.

At this point we thought well heck, let’s just stay on a roll and finish out the summer with Ware’s final book:

http://amzn.to/2yv8Yij

This book is about 4 school friends who get in over their heads while playing…you guessed it…The Lying Game. I didn’t care for this one as much as the first two, but it was still suspenseful and it kept me entertained. Mel, another book club member, really liked it, but there was something a little darker about this one that disturbed me that I couldn’t really put my finger on. Maybe it was the setting (and old dilapidated Mill in a marsh) or just the subject matter, but I was glad to be finished with this one.

Since we ran out of Ruth Ware’s books to read, we turned to another suspense writer, Jane Harper.

http://amzn.to/2yvpgbg

I just started this one and I’m only a few chapters in, but so far so good. The story is set in Australia where a cop is called home to attend the funeral of a friend, and he sees that things are just not adding up right, so he stays to try and figure out what really happened. If I remember, I’ll come back and do an update once I finish the book.

I really loved our Summer of Suspense, but I think we might all be ready for something a little more light-hearted for awhile. Maybe a love story or a comedy. Have any good suggestions? Leave ’em in the comments below!

Happy Reading!

 

Amazon links are affiliate links – if you click a link and then by ANYTHING on Amazon, I get a teensy commission. Thank you! 

Socially Introverted

It seems these days, being introverted is the new black. It feels to me like identifying as an introvert is the latest fad. Do you see this happening too? Everyone claims to be an introvert now, and I wonder…is this really a fad or are we just more accepting of it, so people feel better about admitting it?

Having said that, I think I tend to lean toward the introverted side of life myself, but I think I am more of a social introvert. You would think, just by the way it sounds, a social introvert would be someone who wants to avoid all social contact, but that’s not true. A social introvert loves small gatherings but finds them draining and needs time to recharge in solitude afterward. For example, I love my book club – there are 5 of us who get together once a month to discuss our book selection at a local restaurant. I have a great time with these gals and I look forward to it every month, but at the end of each meeting I am simultaneously fulfilled and completely drained. All I want to do is go home and stare at a screen for a few hours or roll myself into a blanket burrito and nap.

have-an-introvert-hangover-im-totally-exhausted-from-too-much-11285569

I love getting together with friends or attending family gatherings, but I have to make sure I have time afterward to be alone or at least be in my own home.

I wonder though, are most people this way? I mean doesn’t everyone like to have time to rest and relax after a social gathering? Are there really people who can schedule back to back events and totally thrive on the energy and excitement? (Good gravy I’m exhausted just at the thought of that last sentence)

extrovert cat

I just don’t understand those people. When do they rest? How do they have that much energy? Are they shotgunning Redbulls in the car on the way to the party??? HOW DO YOU DO IT, EXTROVERT? Educate me please.

So what about you, gentle reader? Do you describe yourself as more of an introvert or an extrovert? And how do you care for and honor your -verted selves?

 

 

 

What’s on your coffee table?

I have a niece who is a very stylish, elegant, always-put-together kind of woman. She posted on Facebook recently asking for recommendations on coffee table books, because she is the kind of person who has a stylish, elegant coffee table which she can decorate with stylish, elegant books. Here’s her post:

berlycoffeetable

But me being who I am (and I am afraid I am the Cousin Eddie to her Clark Griswold), hijacked and ruined her post with these suggested gems:

 

 

coffeetablebook

(source)

See? As I told her in her comments, this is why I’m not an interior designer. I have no eye for style. I don’t even own a coffee table anymore because it became a dumping grounds for all of my kids’ stuff – it was always completely covered with papers and books and socks (yes, socks) and cups and wrappers and pencils and just STUFF. So when we got new furniture, we did away with the coffee table and now I have a wooden tray that I set on the middle of the couch as a place to set drinks. When I checked this morning, here’s what was on that tray: earbuds, a book, my reading glasses, a coaster, socks (WHY????), and a pen. I can’t win. But at least the mess is contained to a small 12×18 area that can be quickly cleared. I wish I had thought to take a picture this morning but ya know…Monday.

Here are some more ridiculous coffee table books that I would totally read if I saw them on someone’s table:

badhair

GUYS! You can buy this on Amazon for $.90!! For less than a dollar you can OWN this bad boy! What a time to be alive!!! http://amzn.to/2jCEc0t

 

underwaterdogs

Because dogs are proof that God loves us. http://amzn.to/2ylc6Ky

 

kidsruined

I could have written this book. http://amzn.to/2wADWjY

And here are a few that I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole because…ew:

 

So, I’m curious – do you have a coffee table and if so, what’s on it right now? Do you have elegant coffee table books or do you have macaroni and cheese that has cemented itself to the top? Bonus points if you have socks on your table. 🙂

*All of these rare and precious gems were found in this article. I appreciate that someone went to the trouble to find these books before I did. Cheers to you, man. 

*Amazon links are affilitate links.

 

Why do you have ads, Jill???? Because I have kids, that’s why.

Not only will you see Word Ads on my site, you will also see Amazon Affiliate Links from time to time because I have 3 teenagers and dayum, they are expensive. Mama’s got to make some extra coin somehow. (I’m thinking that middle aged women shouldn’t use “coin” like that, but whatevs. I probably shouldn’t say “whatevs” either. Oh well.)

I can’t do much about the Word Ads, but I can kinda control the Amazon ads (I think), and I promise to make these ads fun and useful.

If you don’t already know, Amazon affiliate links work like this

(please note: this tutorial is mainly for my family members who probably don’t have any idea they can do this):

when you click on an Amazon link anywhere on my site, in any blog post, it will take you to Amazon and even if you don’t buy that particular product, but you buy ANYTHING ELSE for the next 24 hours, I will get a teensy commission on that sale. So if you’re going to buy something on Amazon, why not come here first and click on a link? You’ll be helping me out and you’ll get fun stuff from Amazon delivered right to your door.

For example, in my last post I mentioned macrame plant hangers. Guess what you can buy on Amazon right now????

http://amzn.to/2jssGES

That’s right! You can buy a macrame plant hanger of your very own! If you click on that picture, it will take you to Amazon where can purchase as many as you like. Or you can click around Amazon and purchase something else entirely and I’ll still get a commish on whatever product you buy. Easy, right?

Oh, and for my UK and Canada readers, it works for your Amazon sites as well. My affiliate link is also active on Amazon.uk and Amazon.ca. I have a few international readers because apparently my blathering appeals to peoples of all nations. Who knew?

I apologize if some of you don’t like seeing ads, and I hope the ads won’t be too obnoxious or distracting, but it’s either this or I go find a street corner and sell my wares there. I already have a full time job, and until someone is willing to pay me large amounts of money to read books, this will have to be my side gig for awhile.

Oh look! A link to books!

(I read this book recently and it was REALLY GOOD! Highly recommend)

Okay, sales pitch done and over. Thanks in advance if you decide to click on my links. I appreciate you!

One Whole Decade

wpten

WOW

Ten years ago, I had just gone back to work after being a SAHM for 7 years; I had 3 kids under the age of 10 (not unmanageable unless you’re me), I had been married for 11 years, my self esteem was at an all time low, while my weight was at an all time high (oh, how I would LOVE to weigh now what I weighed then!!!) and then I started this blog.

This blog started out as a way to discuss weight, healthy food, exercise, and all things related to the journey of shedding some pounds. But guess what? To my horror, I found that you can’t lose weight by just talking about it. Writing about weight loss ≠ losing weight (it totally should, but it doesn’t).

Over the last ten years, I’ve continued to not lose weight, but for whatever reason, I kept writing. Well, sort of. I’ve gone for weeks and weeks where I just wasn’t feeling it, so I didn’t write anything. But then I always end up missing it, so I come back for more, and bless your sweet hearts, you keep reading the ridiculous drivel I write. I’ve never gotten a ton of comments, and I’ve never been one of those “super bloggers” who go on to write books or get their own show or become famous, but that’s never really been my goal (although yeah, I would love to write a book someday, but I have no idea what I’d write about because I suck at fiction and who wants to read about how someone DIDN’T lose weight for ten years???? But, I digress…)

Anyway, I told a couple of people recently that I think I’m done with this blog. I was ready to just shut it down and either walk away from blogging completely or start a whole ‘nother blog where I talk about all the things in the world not related to losing weight. Because sometimes I have thoughts about ridiculous coffee table books, or I want to talk about the deep subject of makeup primer, or I just need to vent because my kids have a learning disability when it comes to taking out the trash. And then I just figured, well shoot, I can write about all of those things right here in this space and if no one reads it, that’s fine, but I love getting comments when something resonates, even if it’s just a “ME TOO!!”

So, I guess I’ll keep writing (is “blogging” still a thing? Are we just calling this a “website” now because blogging is soooo 2009?? I need a Millennial to help me out here with what’s hip and cool (I’m guessing “hip” and “cool” are probably not it)). ANYWAY, I’m here to stay for awhile I think. If you come here looking for weight loss type stuff, you might be disappointed, but hopefully you’ll stay for the riveting conversation about 80s hairstyles and the macrame plant holders of my youth.

So yeah…ten years, man. Crazy.

spooning

If you need me, I’ll be over here spooning with my blog. 

 

 

Hitting my step goal like a boss

I just realized that my kids go back to school in 2 weeks. That makes me kind of sad because this has been a good, relaxing summer…I’m not ready for them to go back to school and begin the frenzy that August through October brings. I’ve really gotten used to our easy-going days and hate to see them go.

lake

In less depressing news, I got my new Fitbit over the weekend!!

20170726_095042

I love it! I love that it reminds me to move every hour and I love that it celebrates when I hit 10k steps (which I have done for the last 3 days – woo!). On Monday, it had been a really long, frustrating day but I came home to find this in the driveway:

20170725_073950

I’m going to miss things like this when she gets older!

and I knew I wanted to hit my 10k steps but I was only at 6500 for the day. I had told my little chalk artist that I was going to try, and so I got my book and got on my treadmill. I lasted all of 15 minutes before the boredom wore me down. About the time I was shutting down the treadmill, she came out and asked what I was doing, and I told her that hitting my steps probably wasn’t going to happen. She gave me a pointed look and just said “Mom.”…so I said “what?” and she replied “Mom…you can get 10k steps…you can.” I told her that yeah I probably could but I wasn’t going to do it in that hot garage on treadmill, so I just decided to walk around my driveway until I hit my step goal. And it was actually kind of nice! By this time it was dark, and the cicadas and the crickets were chirping and it was not exactly cool, but it wasn’t blistering hot either and there was a nice breeze. I walked up my driveway, back down again, and around the circle drive and I did that for 30 minutes. I decided to get my last 500 steps inside, so I could cool down a little and when I finally hit my step goal, I did a happy dance.

Yesterday, I decided that I really wanted to get to my park and walk so, heat be damned, I got my water bottle and headed to the trail after work. It was a cool 95 degrees (at least it wasn’t 103 like it has been for several days now – sad when 95 degrees feels “not as hot”!!) and there was a nice breeze blowing from the lake, and because it was so hot there weren’t many people there. It was blissfully QUIET with only the cicadas singing their song. Restorative, is what it was. I walked for about 35 minutes and didn’t die, and honestly the heat didn’t bother nearly as much as I thought it would. I’ve got my gear and my plan is to get out there again today because I enjoyed it so much yesterday.

What I’ve learned this week is that I am highly motivated by the validation I get from my Fitbit buzzing at me and displaying fireworks when I hit my step goal. And that hitting my step goal doesn’t take the Herculean effort that I have always thought it would – yes it takes a little bit of planning and effort, but it is totally doable, even for someone like me who sits behind a desk for the majority of the day.