If I could go back and talk to my 20-year-old self, the first thing I would tell her is to get rid of these bullshit magazines. Some of the most regrettable decisions I made were due to the articles in magazines like these. These magazines made it sound like sex was to be used as a weapon of empowerment and that one-night-stands were something to be proud of (I only had a couple of one-night-stands in my early 20s, and I definitely didn’t feel proud the next morning). I had no idea that following the advice of these articles would leave me with years of shame and regret. I was young and naive and I believed pretty much anything anyone told me – even stupid fashion magazines.
And don’t even get me started on the photoshopping and how damaging to body image these magazines are. The video explains that all well enough.
Guys, this is an entire industry built on making us believe we aren’t good enough. Why are these things still even in existence??? Aren’t we beyond this type of thinking by now? And if not, what is it going to take to make us all aware that no matter what we weigh or what the size tag says in our jeans, we are all PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE AS IS? Not happy with your weight? That’s fine. But don’t fall for the lie that you are somehow less-than because of it. Let’s stop believing that lie, OKAY?????? Enough already!!
I know it’s not that simple, but can we at least agree to start trying to believe that we are worthy and deserving of love and admiration and respect just because we are alive? You deserve it – all of it – all of the love, all of the respect, all of the magic in the universe, simply because you get up each day and do your thing.
So put down the shamezines and refuse to believe that your beauty is flawed. You are loved and lovely and worthy and deserving.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE YOU ARE YOU. BELIEVE IT.
Over the weekend, my husband and I loaded up the RV and traveled an hour to a state park and managed to get away for a couple of days WITHOUT KIDS.
It. Was. GLORIOUS.
I love my kids, but it has been about 4 years since the hubs and I have gone away together. It was so great to be able to just focus on each other and nothing else. We went hiking and then shopping, then later that night sat outside having some adult beverages (the weather was perfect for once!). It was a really great weekend.
One thing I thought about over the course of the weekend is that, my goodness, I do A LOT at home! Being able to step back and only have myself (and my husband, of course) to think about was eye opening. Between working and grocery shopping and cooking and cleaning and running kids around it’s a wonder I can find any pockets of time to myself at all! I also realized that I do not give myself NEAR enough credit for all the things I do. I should give myself a pat on the back every single night before I go to sleep for keeping all the plates spinning during the day.
And because I’m NOT a special snowflake, I imagine that you probably have your own plates that you keep spinning as well. So take a few minutes before you go to sleep tonight to mentally applaud yourself for keeping your life going. Being an adult is hard work, yo. Give yourself a high-five; you deserve it!!
This is me high fiving myself.
Hey, guess who can’t handle having a dish of Halloween candy on her desk?
I thought my coworkers might enjoy something other than the standard peppermints I usually keep on my desk, so I bought a couple of bags of Halloween candy to fill my dish.
Amount of candy coworkers have eaten: ZERO
Amount of candy Jill has eaten: ALL THE CANDIES ALL THE TIMES
The craziest part is that it’s not even candy that I particularly care for. I bought it specifically because I don’t really like it. If this candy were in my Trick or Treat bag, I’d gladly pass it on to someone else. IT’S NOT EVEN GOOD, YOU GUYS.
And yet, I find myself sneaking piece after piece throughout the day.
So, in a show of strength and solidarity to myself, I threw it out. All of it. Because it just isn’t serving me well.
Pics or it didn’t happen.
Yes, it is perfectly acceptable to throw out candy if it makes you feel bad about yourself or your choices or whatever. I didn’t like how it made me feel, so OUT it went. And THAT made me feel good. So there.
We now return to our regularly scheduled peppermints.
Well today is definitely showing itself to be a MONDAY. After a fitful sleep due to some neck/shoulder pain and a snoring husband, I got up 15 minutes late this morning and had to battle the Hair That Refused To Be Tamed. It currently looks like a cross between Crazy Drunk and Nick Nolte Mug Shot. It’s lovely.
Then when I finally got to work, I discovered that we were out of my favorite coffee (Caramel Vanilla Cream for those who want to know). Fixed myself a cup of regular coffee then forgot about it for ten minutes so when I finally remembered to drink it, it was tepid. Nothing says “Your day is going to suck” like a cup of lukewarm coffee first thing in the morning. I had taken approximately 2 sips of coffee, then as I was reaching for a paperclip, my elbow hit my cup of coffee and it spilled all over my desk and the floor just as a coworker came in to ask me some questions. Nice.
THEN someone called our office to ask the phone number of another coworker and even though I’ve dialed this phone number literally hundreds of times, I could not for the life of me remember what it was. As I was fumbling through my Rolodex looking for this number, the Fed Ex man came in with a package that needed to be signed for. So Mr. Fed Ex is waiting on me, the guy on the phone is waiting on me, and I’m about as coordinated as a marionette trying to find the number and sign for the package ALL WHILE BE HIGHLY UNCAFFIENATED.
So I fixed myself aNOTHER cup of coffee, then pulled up Facebook to give myself a distraction and saw this:
You guys. I giggled like a fool at this. I don’t know why it struck me as so funny but I actually Laughed Out Loud. It was exactly the tiny mood boost I needed to turn things around. So now, here I sit with my HOT cuppa coffee and I’m ready to get on with my day.
My Monday wish for you is that there will seals playing saxophones for you today when/if you need them. It only takes a little giggle to turn a bad morning into a good afternoon.
Good luck and God Speed, my friends.
It occurred to me the other day that I haven’t made the effort to follow the blogs of some of my regular readers. I want to rectify that injustice! If you want me to follow your blog, or your page, or your whatever-it-is, leave me a comment below with your blog or page or whatever and I’ll add you to my Feedly, or you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I want to know what you guys are thinking and feeling and doing (well that sounded creepy. Sorry!)
Anyway, let me follow you!! Pleeeeaaaasssse????
I completely forgot. Seems like the last few years I have forgotten my blogiversary. This little blog is always on my mind even if I don’t post as often, but I’m going to try to post more often – writing is very therapeutic for me – but I can’t promise anything pithy or deep. If you’ve been reading me for awhile, you know I tend towards the goofy side of life. :)
Back to the blogiversary, nine years is a long time to keep writing about how I’m not losing weight! Oh I’ve lost weight here and there, but honestly, this blog hasn’t been a weight loss blog for a long time. I’m totally okay with that. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care about being thin again, but that wish isn’t the center of my universe anymore. I guess the center of my universe now is trying to be mentally healthy as well as physically healthy. Also lately I’ve been thinking about what I need to do now so that when I’m 90 I can still live in my own home and lead a full life.
Sometimes I wonder why I even still bother with this blog. I mean, blogging is so 2009, right? And yet, I just can’t let it go. Maybe I don’t have the knack for knowing when to leave – in another 9 years, will I be the last one at the party? I doubt it. For some of us, our blogs have become a part of our identities and it’s hard to just walk away from that. So for now, I’ll keep it up.
So anyway, yeah. Nine years.
This is a hard week. Life has been extra busy lately with the start of school and my daughter’s volleyball season in full swing plus the tragedy of my daughter’s friend – it’s been a bit much. This week at work we have corporate visitors doing internal audits, which is really not a big deal, but when you have extra people in your space (even if those people are very nice) it can be a little anxiety-producing.
With everything going on, it’s been very hard to find time for self-care. The best I’ve been able to do is a quick meditation or a couple minutes of deep breathing. If I’m at home and have a few minutes, I tend to reach for a book to read. I’m so thankful that this weekend is a long weekend (Monday is Labor Day here in the US – for all my non-US readers which, I think there are 3 of you) because I am going to need some well-deserved ME TIME.
I messed up last weekend and tried to do way too much. Both of my girls had friends sleep over and they had lots of activities they wanted to do, and as much as I was happy to drive them from place to place, I didn’t plan enough down time for myself. Then we rolled into the week with the visitors at work, and it’s only Wednesday and I’m feeling my edges getting frayed. I’ve done little-to-no exercise in the last 2 weeks which also is not helping my nerves. Even just doing a few minutes of exercise really seems to keep me in balance and I can tell that I’ve missed it. I’m going to have to figure out a way to do something somewhere somehow.
I’m taking a day off of work Friday for the memorial service for my daughter’s friend (it’s in the morning, but I know I won’t feel like going back to work after). Saturday I’m getting my hair done (I’m about a month overdue!) and then I have no plans for the rest of the weekend. Actually, I do have some things I’d like to do: I’m going to take care of some household stuff that’s been bothering me, take long walks outside, do some more reading, and just say NO to anything I don’t feel like doing.
This post really has no point other than to say, don’t forget about yourself. Find a way to schedule some self-care into every day otherwise, you might find yourself in the middle of the week feeling sad & crabby! Lesson learned (the hard way, again. *sigh*).