Whooshing and buzzing

Hey guys!

I typically go through my day and several times I think “oh I need to remember to blog about that” and then I get busy and I forget and before I know it, two weeks have gone by and I haven’t posted anything at all. Then when I do finally remember to sit down and post something, everything in my brain goes WHOOOSH and I can’t remember anything that I wanted to write about.

Today is one of those days. So I’m just going to start typing and see what happens. Fun!

I’m still doing great with my food and exercise –  getting up early to work out most days and paying attention to what I’m eating. Lately, I’m all about walking videos like Leslie Sansone’s videos. If you look for “20-minute walking videos” on youtube, lots of options pop up, and that’s mainly what I’ve been doing. I love it! I actually really enjoy it and I have so much more energy now. I can definitely tell a difference in the days I workout and the days I don’t. If I miss a workout, I don’t worry about it, I just try to get one in the next day. No big deal.  Food is pretty much the same way – I’m still not dieting but I’m eating better now than I probably ever have before and there is no shame or guilt when I eat. I don’t have any kind of label for the way I’m eating – I’m just eating. I hardly ever overeat to the point of uncomfortable but if I do, I tend to not eat much for the rest of the day, not because I think I don’t deserve it, but because I honestly just don’t want to. It’s such a world away from where I was for the past 20 years. I know there are those of you who still struggle with the “crazy food voices” and I just want to say that if I can get to this place, then you can too. I promise. It takes a little work, but if my stubborn ass can find peace with food, I’m pretty sure you can too.

Did you ever think of a project that you wanted to do, but you can’t get your thoughts organized enough to even know where to begin? I’m currently at that place. I have an idea for something that I’d really like to do  – and the thought of it won’t leave me alone – but I’m not sure that A) I’m  actually ready to do it and B) I have no idea how to begin. But it’s one of those things that keeps buzzing around in my brain and if I don’t take some kind of action on it soon, I fear the buzzing will just get louder and louder until my head pops off. It’s a project that is very exciting to me but I’m not sure what form it should take. I know this all makes zero sense to you but if and when I get moving on it, you guys will be the first to know.:)

In other less vague and mysterious news, I have a new boss! My old boss stepped down (it was a move that was sorely needed) and he was replaced by one of my coworkers. I think this will be a very good move. When the announcement was made, I was weirdly euphoric and so looking forward to the changes that will be made here – things have been very loosey-goosey and slidey for a long time. When the boss doesn’t care about the work, it makes it hard for anyone else to care either, and I think my coworkers and I all got into a funk that has lasted far too long. New boss’s first day is today and he’s already hit the ground running and breathed some fresh air into this place. I’m actually looking forward to seeing how things progress. I may change my mind later on down the road, but honestly, I think this is going to be a great change.

So what’s going on with you? Have any good news that has happened lately? Share it below and spread some good stuff around, I think we all would love to hear it!

 

 

Believe

believebracelet

 

My niece Krysten (Hi Krysten!) keeps making me spend all my money when she adds me to her Facebook parties, but the thing is, Krysten has great taste so when she likes something, I pay attention. Recently she had an online KEEP Collective party and as soon as I figured out what the Keepers and Keys were, I knew exactly what I wanted.

Because my watch is silver with a dark blue face I wanted something that would go with it, that I could wear every day and would inspire me. After looking through all of the keys, I chose the word BELIEVE to add to my keeper bracelet.

Why this word? Well, I wanted a reminder… a visual reminder to believe in not only my faith but also to believe in myself. To believe that I am worthy of making myself a priority; to believe that my value is not based on my weight; to believed that I am loved; to believe that I am capable of making things happen in my own life; to believe that I am a good writer; to believe that I deserve to have my voice heard. There are so many things that I want to remind myself to believe every day and this little piece of jewelry will help me do that.

I love this bracelet already. It’s fun and comfortable and the reverse side is white, so I can change up the look if I want to. I look at my watch several times a day and each time I do, I also see this word, so I get this visual cue to remember my worth many times. I’m so happy that I made this purchase for myself.

Do you have some kind of reminder for yourself? Maybe something that helps you remember a goal or a reminder of someone important to you? I had never heard of the KEEP Collective before this – am I way late to the party or is this really a new thing and for once I’m on the cutting edge of something??

 

Twenty Years

weddingdayThis guy. This guy has put up with a lot over the years. Of course, so have I, but this guy deserves some kind of medal for loving me through all of my insecurities and fears. I’m sure there are times when we’ve both thought of jumping ship but fortunately (or maybe stubbornly) we’ve stuck it out for twenty years.

I sometimes think we couldn’t be more different than night and day. He’s Action Jackson – always on the go, always ready to dive into his hobbies, always piddling around outside or shooting hoops in the driveway.  I’m more Betsy Books. I can sit for hours on the couch with my  nose in a book and not notice a tornado swirling around me. He’s got a quiet, dry sense of humor while I’m always up for a hearty belly laugh while watching a Will Ferrell comedy. He says what he thinks without reservation; I keep things inside and close to heart. He wishes he were John Wayne riding a horse on a big open prairie; I wish I were Tina Fey writing a book in a penthouse apartment in Manhattan.

But somehow, we make it work. For reasons that defy logic, we are crazy about each other and always come back to that. We may differ on a lot of things, but we love each other still, and that is enough to keep our family going.

Happy Anniversary Honey. I love you.

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Fourth of July Was a Bust

See what I did there? Get it – a bust?! Because fireworks and 4th of July and…oh, never mind.

I was grateful for the long weekend but we didn’t really do anything special. Saturday I got my hurr did, then went to a birthday party for my nephew and his wife (they both are turning 30 within just a few weeks of each other) so that was fun. I got to visit with my sister and I always enjoy that.

Sunday I woke up to the sound of thunder and remembered that my car windows were cracked just a bit so I scurried out to my car half-asleep and rolled my windows up before too much rain got in. It was about 6:45 and I considered just staying up but decided to give myself the gift of going back to bed. There are few things as wonderful as snuggling in bed while a storm rolls over. Truly, it felt like a luxury. I slept for 2 more hours, so I probably needed the extra sleep anyway.

Yesterday (Monday), I didn’t do a darn thing. We all just lazed the day away watching Cast Away and Forrest Gump. We played a couple of board games and then dragged ourselves off the couch to watch the fireworks show at the lake. I noticed that this year, the crowd seemed a bit rougher than in years past. I don’t think anyone there had any malicious intent – I’m sure everyone there just wanted to enjoy the show, but it was just a different kind of crowd than is typically there. As far as the fireworks went, it seemed like they were shooting the same fireworks over and over again, so after the first 5 minutes it got old real quick. We got there two hours early to get a good spot, then we ended up leaving 15 minutes after the fireworks started. Plus, there was a screaming baby nearby who cried for the entire 2 hours and my youngest had a headache, so we left. It just wasn’t a good time.

This morning I’m left feeling sort of disappointed and let-down. And tired. Mostly tired. I think I had high hopes that this weekend would be a lot of fun but things just didn’t really turn out that way. Oh well, there’s always Memorial Day to look forward to.:/

Why I’m not doing a bullet journal

Have you heard of bullet journals? If you go to Pinterest, it won’t take long for a bullet journal to show up in your feed. Bullet journals are a new way to schedule your life and suck up all of your productive hours making cute designs in said journals. I mean, seriously…who has time for this nonsense? The journals I’ve seen are creative and gorgeous and thinking about having to keep up with something like just gives me hives. I mean, really, do I NEED one more distraction in my life? No. NO I DO NOT.

Now, from what I’ve read, the initial set up takes a bit of time, but after that, it’s supposedly a breeze to keep up with. Yeah, right.

I know me. I know that I’d want to tweak this page, or redo that page, or add another section, or I’d spend three hours setting the thing up and then never touch it again. It would just sit on my dresser, mocking me, making me feel guilty for not living my best life.

If I were a little more creative, a little younger, had a little more patience…I’d be all over this bullet journaling thing but I’m none of those things. If you love the bullet journal and think it’s the best thing since bullet-proof coffee, then more power to you. You Go with your bullet-y self! But as for me, I’ll just stick with my system of dashing things off on a post-it note and throwing it in the bottom of my purse. You be you, and I’ll be me, and I’ll just continue to be late for everything, okay?

 

Are you familiar with bullet journals? Do you use a bullet journal? If so, what do you like about it?

Shake-up

There was a big shake-up at my office last week which resulted in my boss stepping down from his position. He still works here (for now) but he will no longer be my boss. With all the excitement and stress of last week, I completely abandoned any and all self-care habits. I bought a medium size bag of peanut M&Ms and ate several handfuls a day for 5 days. I barely drank any water at all. I was not one iota mindful of my food all week long. I did ZERO minutes of exercise. I didn’t take any of my supplements or vitamins. Heck, I didn’t even take off my makeup before going to bed at night (I have taken my makeup off very nearly every night for the last 3 years). I did, however, brush my teeth before bed because honestly I just can’t sleep unless my mouth is minty fresh. But most of my carefully cultivated habits were tossed out the window with last week’s hullabaloo. I was just too wired and simultaneously worn out to care.

It was a crazy week.

Then over the weekend, we celebrated my mom’s birthday, went to 2 movies (Central Intelligence and Finding Dory – two thumbs up for both of them), and I did many, many loads of laundry.

It was a busy weekend to wrap up a busy week.

And I did very little in the way of taking care of myself.

But you know what? That’s okay.  I don’t feel guilty, I don’t feel like I fell off the wagon, I’m not ashamed…last week was hectic and I chose the path of least resistance to get through it. So what? Empires didn’t break apart…oh wait. Sorry Britain!:)

Anyway, I’m not worried about it. I am no longer interested in berating myself for not being perfect. I’m so over it.

This week so far I have gotten in lots of good self-care practices. I had a much-needed conversation with my best friend. I bought some of my favorite nutritious foods at the grocery store. I did a couple of really good workouts. My sister gave me a bunch of fun new facial mask things to play with and I made an appointment to get my hair done later in the week. So, it’s all good. I’m back to taking care of me again.

 

Hopefully next time there’s a shake-up, I’ll remember to take care of myself first, before getting too caught up in the whirlwind.

 

 

What doesn’t motivate you?

A few months ago, I joined a fitness group sponsored by our county health department. We walked for 2 days a week and I loved it. It held me accountable and I knew that I would get in at least 2 days a week of a good solid workout. I think I only missed 3 days during the whole season (March-June).

The group breaks for the summer then starts up again in late August, but they offer an incentive to keep working out over the summer months. If you log 150 minutes of exercise every week for the 9-week break, you get a free t-shirt before the fall season begins. I thought, “oh this will be great! I will do this!”

I figured that 150 minutes per week is equal to about 20 minutes per day. Twenty minutes? Easy peasy!! I can do that!

But then I would get busy and think, “I’ll do my 20 minutes later” and then of course ‘later’ never came. Same thing with the next day, and the next. That first week, I logged 75 minutes of exercise total (I think I took a couple of after-dinner walks a couple of times that week – which is great, but it didn’t add up to 150 minutes). And not hitting those 20 minutes momentarily brought up my Mean Girl – “Good job slacker. You couldn’t even do 20 measly minutes? What a loser!” but I shut her up pretty quick because I don’t let those thoughts linger anymore.

Then I decided that 4 40-minute workouts would be better. Only guess what? Things got busy and sometimes I missed a couple of days and that threw things really out of whack. That week, I totaled 70 minutes. Again, I had to duct tape Mean Girl’s mouth and tell her to go sit in the corner because I don’t have time for her nonsense.

So I’m on week 4 now and I have yet to hit that 150-minute mark. I thought about it and I decided that I’m done worrying about that number. Having a numerical goal is not something that gets me off the couch. Why am I doing this in the first place? Is it to get 150 minutes? Is that really my end goal? Is it to win a free t-shirt (a t-shirt that, truth be told, is really kind of ugly)?

No! My end goal is to FEEL GOOD. So what if, instead of being a slave to the number (sound familiar?), I make ‘feeling good‘ my motivation?

I decided to look at my schedule and see when working out would feel the best for me. It is so dang hot here now that working out after work is not happening. If I try to do it later in the evening when it has cooled off a little, there’s a good chance that by 8:00pm I’ve already taken off my bra and put on pj pants and am thinking seriously about snuggling into bed to watch Discovery Channel for awhile. So evening workouts are a no go for right now.

I decided that I would aim for a morning workout. I like morning workouts during the summer time because the fact that it starts getting light out at 5:00am makes me feel less like I’m missing out on more snooze time. So I got out of bed at 5:15 this morning, found a video on Youtube and did a full body workout for 35 minutes – and it felt great! And because it felt great, the likelihood that I’ll do it again tomorrow morning is very high. And if I keep doing what feels great, then the minutes will add up naturally over time.

My end game, no matter if it’s what I’m eating or when I’m working out or how I’m communicating with people, is about FEELING GOOD. If I keep that in mind, everything else just falls into place.

So obviously, I’m not motivated by numbers – what doesn’t motivate you? Have you figured out what works and what doesn’t for you? If so, how did you come to that realization?