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A 40-something woman trying to lose 40-something pounds

Tag Archives: emotional eating

Hey Friends!! How was your Easter?

First things first – my sweet friend and fellow blogger Kyra is in the first round of an art contest and she needs your votes. So please go here and ignore all the slutty fairies (okay, they aren’t all slutty, only some) and find her White Rabbit painting, then scroll past the artwork down to where all the names are. Find Kyra Wilson and check the box next to her name and then click on the “vote” button below that. This means a lot to her and besides being super talented, she’s a great person who deserves to win. It takes only a minute to vote, and I know she will really appreciate it. :)

Man, I gotta tell ya, I had a fabulous weekend. I took off work Friday to go visit my old BFF who was going to be in our hometown for the weekend. I haven’t been back to my hometown since my high school reunion 4 years ago, but that was a quick trip and I didn’t get a chance to really look around the town like I wanted, so this time I made sure to have plenty of time to check out my old stomping grounds. My parents moved from my hometown when I was 22, so I really don’t have a reason to go back and visit even though it’s only a couple of hours away. Most of my friends have moved away also, so unless there’s a special reason, I just don’t go home anymore. Anyway, I met up with D (whom I’ve known since I was 12, but we weren’t BFFs until college where we lived together) and we drove every inch of that town. Let me tell you, Memory Lane is a long, long road. I drove past my old house (the house that when I dream I’m home – it’s always this house) and there were cars in the driveway and the garage door was open – I was thisclose to stopping and asking if I could look inside. I didn’t want them to call the cops on the crazy crying lady though, so I drove on past.  We snuck in to our old high school (and by snuck, I mean we walked right in – it was 4pm and the doors were still open but there were only a handful of people there. No one seemed to notice the two middle aged women roaming the halls) and looked around, we went to the lake and tried to find our names that were spray painted on the spillway nearly 25 years ago (they weren’t there anymore, most likely washed away by the elements or covered over by the other 24 graduating classes since ours), we drove by the houses where our friends used to live…it was a very bittersweet day. I didn’t realize how much I missed that town until I was there this time. I have to admit, I had a really good childhood growing up in that town. I was dismayed to see that it was a little smaller and a little less shiny than I remembered, but it’s still there and that’s what counts. There’s been talk of a 25 year high school reunion and if that happens I will definitely go. I already want to go back right away!

Saturday was a day of running errands, and then Sunday was Easter. Good church service, excellent lunch (made by yours truly), and a big nap. Does it get any better than that? No, no it does not. :)

I gotta say though, I really overdid it on Sunday. After a heavy lunch, my mom brought over a cheese cake and my neighbors sent over some really cute cupcakes they had made – and I gorged myself on all of it. Oh, I was disgusted with myself. I was digging into another slice of cheesecake later that afternoon while watching The Bible on History Channel (well done, History Channel!) and my son said “wow mom, you must really like that stuff” and suddenly I realized that Jesus probably wouldn’t be so impressed with my gluttony. Actually I wasn’t impressed with my gluttony either, so I got up and tossed the rest of the cheesecake in the trash and was done. I drank hot tea and water for the rest of the evening – I didn’t even eat dinner because I was so full from everything I had eaten earlier in the day.

Yesterday I decided that I needed a break from the sweet stuff, so I planned on having no sugary treats all day. I was resolved that I would not let processed sugar pass my lips all day. I didn’t even put sugar in my coffee or tea (and I was strangely satisfied with that)…but then about 2:00 in the afternoon, my pusher the little old man across the street brought me a slice of Easter Bunny cake – you know the cakes you see in the bakery that are shaped like a bunny? He brought me the bunny’s butt – the part with all the extra icing. It was pink and fluffy and I didn’t want it. I really didn’t. But old habits die hard, and I took a bite. It wasn’t that good, but I took another bite and another until I had finished off the whole slice. And then I spent the rest of the afternoon feeling disappointed in myself, realizing that I’m going to have to take a stand and JUST SAY NO. I can’t keep defeating my own agenda – I can’t keep letting my emotions override my logic.

So today I’m going to try again.  I’m going to say no to the sweet stuff today – just today, that’s all I have to worry about. If cake or chocolate or a treat comes my way, I’m going to use my sweet ninja skills to block the attack and it will end up in the trash. With dish soap poured over it. And coffee grounds dumped over that. And if I can get my hands on some bacon grease, I’ll add that too. Because I’m tired of the defeat and I deserve a little victory in my life, that’s why.

So that’s the plan anyway. I gotta go brush up on my roundhouse kicks and throat punches so I’ll be ready when the sweets jump out at me from behind the corner. Anyone have any ninja stars they can loan me for awhile? :)

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Hello Folks!

I didn’t go to weigh in on Saturday and it was probably  just as well. I know I had a gain and was waiting for my new “clean slate” week to begin, which it did, but the slate got real dirty by the next day. It didn’t just get dirty it got drrrrrty.  Dirty with bbq and cheesecake (yep, I got my birthday cheesecake and it was WONDERFUL).  I tracked everything I ate and Monday I was back on plan, until after work when I made the grave mistake of tasting “just one” Honey BBQ Twisted Frito. Holy crackers, those things must be dipped in meth because before I knew it, I was on the street corner hustling Johns so I could get enough money to go score some more Twisted Fritos. Not even once, kids…not even once.

I literally could not stop eating them. I think I ate half the bag before I finally gave the bag to my son and told him to go hide them. He came back into the kitchen 5 minutes later, shoved the bag into the pantry and said “wow, it took a lot of effort for me to stop eating those!”, so I know it wasn’t just me – he just stopped a lot sooner than I did. This had nothing to do with willpower, it was purely the addictive flavor of the chips which I’m sure Frito-Lay most likely spent thousands of dollars in R&D to come up with. I fell right into their trap.

So today, I’m in a funk and I’m 90% positive it’s because of all those Fritos I ate yesterday. I am becoming more and more aware of how I feel after I eat things like that, and I’m noticing that it usually affects me the day after I have eaten the offending food.

I know, I know, you all tried to warn me when you said you don’t let trigger foods pass your lips at all anymore. I didn’t listen then, but I’m listening now! I’ve decided that if I’m going to lose weight and keep it off, I have to tighten things up around here and quit being so loosey-goosey with all the BLTs (bites, licks, tastes).  The thing is, it didn’t occur to me that those would be a trigger food, but lately I seem to be getting cozy with salty snacks of all kinds. I think I need to put a moratorium on them for awhile because sheesh, I don’t need another replay of yesterday’s carnage. Lions attacking their prey aren’t as violent as I was with those Fritos.

Learn from me, friends. Don’t be me. Don’t use salty snacks lest you find yourself at the counter of The Betty Ford Clinic for Frito Addiction with a mustard-yellow dust all over your face. Just say no, kids, just say no!

 

 

 

 


I am so glad it’s Friday because I am super annoyed with work today (actually I’ve been annoyed with work for 3 days now). My regional manager is going chart-crazy and making up and having us fill out all sorts of new charts with information that can already be found in our system. Also annoyed because I had to travel to Kansas City on Wednesday with my coworkers for a safety training class. We had to drive 4 hours in an uncomfortable passenger van to get there, spend the night at a hotel, get up the next morning and go to the 2 hour class, then drive back 4 hours yesterday. It seems like a huge waste of time and money to me, but I don’t get to make the rules.

Of course since it’s a company thing, they pay for our meals while we are there and on the road. Do you know how hard it is to eat well while traveling on the company dime? I tried to make good choices, I really did. We never knew ahead of time where we would be eating, so I couldn’t look up nutritional info beforehand, but I ordered a big salad at least once a day. It was the other meal of the day that killed me. For dinner Wednesday evening, I ordered seared scallops thinking that would be a safe bet, but it came with an asparagus risotto which, while it was divine, probably had a lot of calories because something that tastes that good is rarely low in cals. Oh and I also had the most wonderful french onion soup – just a cup, but I should have just made a meal of that.  For breakfast the next morning I chose an english muffin with cream cheese, a hard boiled egg, and a banana, which was actually more than I probably needed to eat at the time, but I didn’t know when we would eat lunch that day so I wanted to be full for the whole morning. We ended up eating Pizza Hut buffet for lunch, and that was my downfall. The salad bar was “meh” at best and I chose thin crust pizza when I could. But since it was a buffet, I went back for more. I was tired and discouraged, so I very illogically threw in the towel for the day and got more pizza and some pasta and some cinnamon bread sticks. I didn’t track any of it. It seems like this whole week has been a struggle, which is disheartening considering how well I’ve been doing the last few weeks.

The upside is that tomorrow starts a new week for me so I can start with a clean slate. The downside is that Sunday is my birthday and I’ma be pissed if I don’t have a cherry cheesecake waiting for me at some point. I don’t even want regular cake (I had enough of that during my son’s birthday last month), but I figure a cheesecake is small enough that I can have one slice and everyone else can have a slice and we can all be done with it. So that’s my plan – a very loosey goosey plan, but a plan nonetheless.

I haven’t been exercising, which is probably just adding to my annoyed-ness. All the 5k races that I ran last year are coming up again and I just have absolutely zero desire to run. I feel bad that I’m going to miss out on all the excitement that a 5k brings, but I can’t even remember the last time I ran…let alone trained for a race. I don’t even want to walk in any races. I don’t even want to walk on my treadmill. I don’t want to do anything unless it involves sitting on my couch or lying in my bed. Basically I just want to sleep a lot, that’s all I really WANT to do. I know I need to exercise, I know it would give me more energy, blah blah blah, but I just DON’T WANT TO. I don’t even know why. It just feels like ONE MORE THING that I need to do that I don’t really want to do – along with dishes, laundry, and balancing my checkbook.

I think I need a vacation. Preferably somewhere warm with an ocean view and a cabana boy who will rub my shoulders. Oh and it needs to be free because this economy is killing my style. Isn’t there someone out there who would love to give me an all-inclusive vacation for my birthday? I totally wouldn’t hate that. At all.

So anyway, yeah. I’ll probably skip my weigh-in tomorrow because I have a full day of chauffeuring the kids around and I just don’t think I’ll be able to make it to my regular meeting, but I would sort of prefer to pretend this week never happened anyway. I’ll start fresh tomorrow and go from there. That’s about the best I can do right now.

My blog: the place you come to for whining and complaining. Such a warm and welcoming place! Please have a seat and listen to me cry into my coffee, won’t you?

 

 

 

 


Happy Friday!! This is going to be a short post because I have a lot of work to do and I’m hoping we’ll get to leave work a little early today! *fingers crossed*

According to your comments in my last post, and as Gina pointed out, there seems to be a running theme when dealing with temptations: don’t even start. The easiest way to avoid eating tempting treats and desserts is to just leave them alone, give them away, destroy them…don’t even let them pass your lips. I’ll admit that at this point, I don’t think I’m strong enough to do that. The pull to partake is still VERY strong in me – after a lifetime of giving in, giving up those foods that are not conducive to losing weight and living a healthy life seems impossible. I know it’s not, but it feels that way right now. I will admit that the more fruits and veggies and lean protein that I eat, the less I think about sweet treats, so maybe that’s the key for me right now – eat lots of the good stuff so I won’t have room for the less-than-good stuff (Gee Jill, ya think?!).

In other news, I think I’d like to purchase an electronic food scale for my kitchen. I’ve been using measuring cups and measuring spoons for a lot of my foods, but I think I’d like to take it a step further so I’ll know exactly what a portion should look like. At last week’s WW meeting, we got to play around with the Weight Watcher scale and frankly, I wasn’t that impressed. It’s kind of like my car – lots of features that I will never, ever use. I want something simple and accurate, so I would like to know what your recommendations are. Do you use a scale regularly and if so, what kind? Is there one I should absolutely stay away from? I figure something in the $30-$40 range would be good (but if I can find a good one for less than that, I’d be ecstatic!!). Thanks in advance for your help!

Okay, time to get back to work. Have a great weekend! :)

 


I intended to write this post on Monday, but I was off work Monday and the day seemed to go by really fast (how come it doesn’t go that fast when I’m at work?) and I just never got it done. Actually the whole weekend went by in a blink. I feel like I had a one night stand with the 3 day weekend: “You’re…you’re leaving? already? But I thought we had something special here!!” Oh well, it’s not the first wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am I’ve ever had and probably won’t be the last (I’m talking weekends here, not actual real life one night stands…I’m not that kind of girl. Not since I got married anyway, *ahem*).

MOVING ON.

So I had a bit of a gain at my last weigh in, but I totally expected it and I’m not upset about it. I was up 1.2 pounds from my previous weigh in and in looking back over the week, I realized something interesting. I was comparing all my obstacles from my first week to all the obstacles last week and I realized that all those landmines I dodged so well the first week? It was because I could run away from them. I could put lots of physical distance between myself and the temptations that first week. Last week, however, all the temptations were in my close personal space. In my office, in my kitchen, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. With my son’s birthday cake right in the middle of my kitchen, the kitchen I walk through 47 times a day, it was harder to ignore it than I anticipated. Must learn how to deal with cake. Another problem is my sweet elderly neighbor (he lives right across the street from my office) brought me at least 3 different treats last week.  I need to learn how to deal with the desserts he brings over – I need a plan, because I am NOT going to tell him that I don’t want them. It gives him great pleasure to bring us samples of things he and his wife have baked, and to tell him I don’t want them seriously hurts his feelings. His wife’s health is declining rapidly and I am not going to be rude to this man who is about to lose his wife of nearly 60 years (her only goal at this point is to live until May so they can celebrate their 60th anniversary – so bittersweet!) just to save myself the worry of a few calories. I do however, need a plan that I can stick to when he does bring food over. I’m thinking I can give it to another coworker, I can take one bite (two bites if it’s really good) and then throw it away, or I can just throw it away without tasting it at all. I just need to decide what I’ll do and then stick to that.

The thing is, there will always be SOMETHING that is going to get in the way. The world is full of landmines and I think  my success is going to be determined by how well I deal with these landmines.

Do any of you have a plan for things like this? I’d love to hear from my maintainer-readers (Debby and Shelley I’m looking at you) on how you deal with temptations like I described. I know Mr. Brown is going to keep coming over with delectable desserts and I’ve got lots of birthdays/celebrations coming up in the next few months and I would love to have a plan in place. So what say you? Do you just wing it and hope for the best or do you Just Say No? Help a sistah out here!!


Hello kids!!

I hope you all had a nice Christmas holiday. I fully intended to blog before Christmas but I was busybusy and didn’t make time to sit down and post. But now that the stockings have been hung and the wrapping paper carnage has been cleaned up (mostly) and I have taken a sufficient number of naps, it feels like a good time to  post.

So just to wrap up the workplace drama, I talked with Janet about it and she brought up some good points – things I perhaps could have done differently, things the bigwigs should have done differently, and how it’s not really something to quit my job over, but I’m still keeping an eye open. I go back and see her on the 7th and hopefully we’ll talk about my food issues then.

Speaking of food issues (aren’t we always?) I have done really well in the last couple of weeks – I guess all the stress decreased my appetite for a few days. Sugar had no hold on me; even with all the holiday baking I just had no desire to partake of any of the sugary treats. Until yesterday, that is.  When I finally realized that everything was bought, wrapped, cooked, opened, exchanged and all was well and good, that’s when I succumbed to The Afters. Today has been especially hard – being supremely lazy and taking all sorts of catnaps has made me feel rested, but I’m still dealing with wanting to eat – and it’s not just sugar that I want (in fact, that’s not even what I really want) I want fun appetizer-type foods. Luckily I don’t have anything of the sort in my house and I don’t want it bad enough to go and get it. I just want FOOD. Good, tasty, warm and filling food. We’ve got grilled chicken on the menu tonight (if the hubs wants to stand outside in 16 degree weather and grill it) and I’ve got some broccoli that I want to roast, so I’m looking forward to that. My mouth is watering just thinking about it!

In other news, I got a Kindle Fire from Santa and I luuuurrrve it!!! Since I have joined the Land of the Apps, my question for you is, what are some of your favorite apps? Other than email, Facebook, Pinterest…what apps have you come to love? I got the PBS app, and being the semi-nerd that I am, I’m especially excited that I can watch a show about the snowy owl anytime I want.  I’ve also downloaded the FitBit app because, Merry Christmas to me, I ordered a Fitbit One and I  can’t wait to get it and play with it. IF IT EVER GETS HERE. I mean, I ordered the thing 6 days ago and yes, I realize we had a major holiday and a weekend in those 6 days, but WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS, Fitbit??? Hmmm?  If you cared about me, Fitbit, you would have shipped that sucker out the minute I ordered it. It’s like you don’t even know me! Oh wait, you don’t know me…never mind, just get it here soon pleeeeeeeze!!!

Okay, well even though I’m on vacation this week, laundry and dishes don’t take vacations so I suppose I should deal with those pesky details. If Santa really loved me, he’d get me a maid…or a wife. ;)

 


This has been a rough week, not only because of what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary last week (which, I cannot let myself think about – I have a 7 year old and frankly it’s just too painful to imagine “what if”) but also because I created some drama here at work that I now regret.

Last week I was on a conference call with one of the VPs of our company and several others who are in my same position at different locations. During this call the VP stressed (several times) that if we had any issues, any at all, that he wants to know about them. He said we are his eyes and ears and if we had ANY issue that we were concerned about, to call him directly and it would be kept in strict confidence. He didn’t say this just once, he said it several times, plus he made us answer back individually when he said “does everyone understand?”.  Now, it’s no secret here on this blog that I have issues with my boss, so I called one of my colleagues (who is in a temporary supervisory position over me) and discussed some issues with her and asked her “is this something VP would want to know about?”. She was insistent that he would want to know, so she called him. I don’t know exactly what she said to him, but his answer to this problem was to call the Regional Manager, who is my boss’ supervisor.

It was at this point I got sick to my stomach. Our regional manager is crude and rough and doesn’t sugar coat things. My colleague kept assuring me that he would handle things in a professional manner, and everything would be fine. I knew in my gut that everything wouldn’t be fine though.

Well, sure enough, the Regional Manager called my boss on Monday afternoon and told him almost exactly everything I had said to my colleague. He didn’t give names, but there are only 8 of us in this shop, so it’s not hard to narrow it down. When my boss got off the phone, he looked shell-shocked. He came to me as a confidant and asked me if I had heard anything or knew anything about it. There was no way I was going to lie and pawn this off on someone else or make my boss wonder who said it, so I confessed that yes I knew about it and it was me that made the call. He was again, shocked.

We were only able to talk about it for a few minutes before other coworkers interrupted us, so we sort of left things hanging for the rest of the afternoon. It was super tense and I felt awful. I really did. I hate conflict, especially if I am the cause of it.

I did a lot of thinking that evening and realized that even though it was handled poorly by both the VP and Regional manager (neither one of them called me. I think they should have called me before talking with my boss), I realized that how my boss does his job is none of my business. The happiness of my coworkers is not my responsibility. Why I thought I needed to sit in the judgement seat and decide that my boss is not working up to his potential is beyond me. It was bratty and stupid and I feel awful for sticking my nose in where it doesn’t belong. For all his faults, my boss has been nothing but good to me (lets me do pretty much whatever I want/need to do in regards to my kids or appointments or whatever), and I crapped all over that (sorry for the crude visual, but that’s exactly how I feel).

I stand behind what I originally told my colleague – there are issues here. But I cannot make it my personal crusade to ensure the happiness of every employee here, and trying to do so has backfired on me and made me look as if I’m just trying to stir things up. I talked with my boss and he was very gracious about all of it (which of course made me feel even worse), and things seem to be okay between us, but I still have this bottom-of-the-dumpster feeling that I can’t shake.

I’m writing all of this here so I can get it all out, plus I need to be clear about things when I talk with Janet (therapist) this afternoon.

I’m dusting off my resume and putting the word out that I am available. I think I should have left here a long time ago, maybe this is the catalyst for that move.

Bottom line is, I feel terrible for causing all this. I feel frustrated that I didn’t listen to my gut and instruct my colleague NOT to call the VP. I feel disappointed that the higher-ups didn’t handle this discreetly and professionally. I feel stupid that I wasn’t mature enough to just keep my mouth shut in the first place.

So many feelings, so little food to stuff them down with. (that’s a joke, there’s plenty of food, trust me)

I am humbled and ashamed and hope that at my next workplace, I’ll be smart enough to learn this lesson and not repeat my mistakes.

 


Happy Friday folks!

Does it seem like this week draaaaaaged on forever and ever? What’s up with that?

I’ve been working on my list of goals that I want to get out of therapy. I’m still working on that list of 15 things I like about myself – I know several of you gave me ideas and I appreciate that, but if I’m being honest it’s HARD coming up with 15 things that I like about myself. So far I have six. Six! That’s a long way from fifteen, but I still have a few days to think about it.

Anyway, here are my 3 goals for therapy (and why is it every time I type “therapy” I actually type “thereapy”??????? Stop it fingers!!):

  1. Learn how to deal with my emotions without using food. (are you surprised that’s one of my goals? I know you are shocked that I have food issues. I hide it so well here on my blog)
  2. Learn how to deal with stress without wanting to HULKSMASH everything in sight. Seriously, The Incredible Hulk has nothing on me when I get agitated.
  3. Learn how to be more assertive/expressive in regards to my needs. This has to do with not stuffing things down, and asking for help.

We are going to talk about these next Wednesday when I go for my next appointment and she might suggest a couple more for me.

In other news, I’ve made a nice dent in my Christmas shopping. I put dinner in the crockpot this morning, so I might do some more shopping after work today since I don’t have to worry about fixing dinner tonight. I’m ready to get it all done so I can enjoy the rest of the holiday season! Can I just take a moment here and say a hearty THANK YOU  to online shopping? Because if it weren’t for the wonderful technology that is the internet, I’d be so screwed right now as far as shopping goes. I LOVE YOU INTERNET!!! YOU COMPLETE ME!!

I hope you all have a good weekend  - stay cozy, my friends!


Well, my low-sugar experiment last week was a success until the weekend. I’ll admit that when I caved, I did so out of frustration with my kids, not because I particularly wanted the sugar. And I also indulged on Sunday with a slice of one of those big cookie-cakes (my sister brought it over for Father’s Day) – and that was directly tied to how tired I was that day (seriously, super tired).  I decided to give it another go this week and I did very well yesterday. I’m taking it one day at a time – that’s about all I can manage to think about.

The rest of the summer is going to be pretty busy – lots of kid activities, plus the Griswolds have decided to take a vacation. Oh yes – we are loading up the RV and traveling to Yellowstone for our family vacation. I’m looking forward to the time away, but I’m not so much looking forward to the bickering and the squabbles that are sure to take place in the back seat of the truck during the 3 days that it will take to get to our destination. But I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Speaking of kids, and I’m having a hard time admitting this to myself and to you, but I’ve come to the realization that my kids really wear me down. Last week, the oldest was away at camp and the other two spent part of the week at grandma’s house, and while they were all away I had a really nice time. It was peaceful and quiet; my kitchen and living room stayed clean for 3 days. I didn’t have to make my 3-times-a-week run for milk and I only ran the dishwasher once. There were no tattle-tales, there were no arguments to referee, no “that’s not fair!”s to hear. The hubs and I spent some quality time together just running errands and hanging out. It was really, really nice.

Then they came home…and the whirlwind started up again. All the demands for my attention, all the couch cushions in the floor, all the dishes on the kitchen counter – it all came crashing over me like a tidal wave.

And here’s the part where I feel it necessary to say that I love my kids. I do! I have really great kids, as far as kids go (I’ve seen other people’s kids – it isn’t pretty) and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. Mama bear gets feisty when someone messes with her cubs! And it makes me nervous when my baby birds are out of the nest – I actually prefer it when they are safe and snuggled in their own beds at night.

But…

I realize how taxing they can be. I realize how much of myself I pour into them everyday. As soon as they got home, I felt my tension level rise just a little bit. And yes, I do take time for myself – I get up early and exercise 3 days a week, I go to Zumba at least once a week, I take time to sit down and read a magazine once in a while, I get together with friends when I can…I’m not covered up 24/7, but the tension is there 24/7.

All of this is to say, that my family definitely affects my health. I’m not saying that my family has made me fat, but realizing that they are a contributing factor to the anxiety bubbling under the surface has made me stop and say well no wonder it’s so hard sometimes.

So what’s a mom with another 15 years of kids-living-at-home to do? Well I figure I can bemoan my fate (and my fat) or I can embrace the chaos and start dealing with it. I’m not exactly sure what that’s going to look like, but I know I don’t want to wish away my kids’ childhood. I just want that same peace I felt last week to hang around.


Ugh. Instead of going down the road of “I’m a failure” every time I mess up with food, I’m trying to learn from it. Here are some things I have learned about myself over the last few months:

  • 2 glazed donuts = I feel okay. Eating 3 (or more) donuts makes me feel like I’m gonna hurl.
  • Eating flour tortillas make me want to take a nap. Carb coma anyone?
  • I can’t get enough cereal. Any kind of cereal. One bowl is never enough, so it’s better if I just don’t eat it at all. (Hi I’m Jill and I’m a cereal junkie.)
  • Egg noodles are addictive and I don’t want to stop eating them. They make me feel sluggish and bloated.
  • I am at this point powerless against commercial birthday cakes. Buttercream icing makes me want to do bad things in a food porn kinda way.
  • PopTarts and milk at 10 o’clock at night are never a good idea. Waking up with a stomach ache is no way to start the day.

So basically what I’m learning is that simple carbs are not my friend. Duh. I never said I was the brightest bulb in the lamp.

I guess I’m the type that can read all the nutritional information in the world, but until I experience it myself first hand, I’m not going to believe it. At the beginning of this week for about 3 days most of my meals consisted of a lean protein and vegetables or fruit and nuts. I had tons of energy and felt almost…euphoric? I was nearly giddy – it was weird. As the week progressed and got busier, I opted for the old standby meals which are basically meat, starch, and a starchy vegetable. By last night I was so tired and had a stomach ache and just felt miserable – I don’t want to keep feeling that way.

Looking at my body as if it’s a big science experiment instead of judging myself for not being perfect is probably much healthier in the long run. It’s amazing what you can learn when you take away the judgement and self-flagellating thoughts, and instead observe how your body reacts to certain foods.

I may be 41 years old, but I’m still learning. I don’t know how long it will take me to get this figured out enough that I can be consistent enough to lose all the excess weight, but by golly I’m going to keep trying. (Yes. Yes I did just say “by golly”. Apparently I’m channeling my grandpa today.) 

Happy Weekend folks!! :)



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