*sigh*

I was doing so great with No Junk June and then yesterday happened. I think I set myself for failure right from the get-go (Not from the gecko. Please don’t ever say that.) and it pretty much went downhill all the way until dinner time. Here’s what went down:

I woke up yesterday, did my work out, had my protein shake and started getting ready for the day. Usually I take my breakfast to work with me and eat it about 9:00, but yesterday I had to take my son to get his braces off and for some reason I thought I would be okay with just having the protein shake at 6:00 and not having anything else until lunch (wrong move #1). On the way to the orthodontist I realized I forgot my lovely travel mug of coffee at home (wrong move #2) and I nearly had a panic attack. Okay, I didn’t nearly have a panic attack but I was slightly bummed out because I love my morning coffee and wanted to drink it while I waited for my son to finish his appointment. After the appointment he wanted to get breakfast at McDs because we needed a wifi hotspot and I needed coffee, pronto, so off we went. I didn’t want to get anything to eat, because hello No Junk June and McDs is practically the junk food capitol of the world, so I just ordered a SF/FF vanilla latte (wrong move #3) and nothing else. By the time I dropped my son off with my husband and got back to work, it was almost lunch time (we take lunch at 11:00) and so I ate my lunch of a chicken breast with a spinach salad then sat at my desk and worked for a little while. I got hungrier earlier in the afternoon than usual, so I ate some cherries and cottage cheese about 1:30, and decided to save my apple for later, only for some reason I never ate my apple and got home and was starving (wrong move #4). I picked at some watermelon, then fixed myself a small wrap (whole wheat tortilla, avocado, and turkey lunch meat) thinking that would satisfy my hunger until dinnertime. After I ate the wrap I started thinking about what to have for dinner because I hadn’t planned anything (wrong move #5) and for the life of me, I could not think of anything to fix! Seriously it was like my brain said “nope! see ya later!” and I wandered around the kitchen trying to think of something. This went on for some time before my poor hungry husband finally took over and started fixing his go-to meal: pancakes. The kind from a box mix. With bacon and syrup also. I battled myself for awhile and then finally gave in and just ate the damn pancake already so I could be done with food for the day (wrong move #6). Eating the pancake just set me up for cravings and so when I saw the caramel brownies sitting on the counter (brownies I had made for my husband on Sunday and wasn’t phased by them at all) I cut one out and ate it, then decided that brownies taste best when accompanied by ice cream so I grabbed a little half-cup carton (the kind you used to get in elementary school, wooden spoon not included) of vanilla ice cream and went to town on it (wrong move #7). 

Of course immediately after I ate it, I felt disappointed and mad at myself for giving in so easily, but when I thought back on the day as a whole, I realized I had set myself up by not eating breakfast and it just snowballed from there. I’m mad that I let things get away from me like that, but then I realized that one bad food day out of the last two weeks really isn’t a catastrophe. I forgave myself, and today I’m carrying on my wayward son (now you’ll have that song stuck in your head all day. you’re welcome.) – I have my coffee by my side and I’ve already had a green smoothie for breakfast, in addition to my morning workout and protein shake. I’ve got my lunch and a couple of snacks with me (fruit and nuts) and dinner is planned out in my head. I still have 15 days left in this No Junk challenge and I’m going to make the best of them. 

So that’s my confession for the day. I messed up, but I’m over it and back in the saddle again today, trying to get where I’m going. I haven’t arrived, but I’m making an effort and that’s what counts.

So because I only have a drink every so often, I always forget that alcohol interferes with my beloved sleep. I just never can get into a good deep sleep when I have a drink, be it wine, margaritas, or blech beer. So there I am in bed trying to will myself to sleep at 11:30 when my husband stumbles in after spending an extra amount of time with our neighbor out on the patio telling alcohol-fueled manly stories of their glory days. They had had quite a few margaritas and let’s just say my husband needed some “care” and leave it at that. After I finally got his drunk ass in bed, I couldn’t sleep. I stared at the ceiling. I tried to count backwards from 100. I read my book. Nothing was helping and as the hours ticked by, I knew that I was going to be super tired this morning and most likely wouldn’t want to do my workout. Then I thought, well why not do it now? I wasn’t sleepy so I might as well make use of the time I was awake and get it done and over with. Plus I hoped that it would wear me out enough that I would fall sleep. So I got out of bed, put on my workout clothes and banged out a bunch of squats and some other incredibly ridiculous exercises for the next half hour. When I was done, I was sweaty and satisfied and although it took awhile for me to cool down, I finally drifted off to sleep about 3:30. When my alarm rang at 6:15, I was so glad I had already worked out because I was TIRED with a capitol SLEEPY. 

Today I’m feeling racked out and blah, but I plan on going to bed embarrassingly early tonight (hello 3rd grade bedtime). I never in a million years would have thought I would voluntarily work out in the middle of the night. I fully expect people in Hades to be wearing parkas today. 

First, let me shout it to the heavens that I am wearing a size 16 again!! I knew the 18s were getting loose, but when I stepped into a dressing room yesterday and saw just how awful they looked on me, I knew it was time to give them up. I stuck with them because I felt like they hid a lot, but really all they were doing was making me look bigger than I already am. So I bought a new pair of size 16s and they fit! Yay! I have 2 pair of size 14s that I bought 2 years ago that have never been worn, so when these 16s get too big (and they will) I already have 2 pair of new jeans that will be waiting for me. Woohoo! 

I’m still rocking along with No Junk June. I had a Moment of Truth earlier this week when my sugar pusher neighbor Mr. Brown came over and brought me a slice of cake. I was conflicted. I didn’t want to mess up NJJ…but there was cake staring me in the face. What to do??? I must have stared at that cake for two whole minutes while I warred with myself over whether or not I would eat it. I finally decided NOT to eat the cake and gave it to my boss instead. A very large victory was won that day!! 

I’m still working out every morning and sweating and grunting like it’s not about to kill me or anything. My husband got up early this morning and the poor soul tried to ask me questions while I was in the middle of some fairly challenging tricep extensions. My husband has no idea how close to death he came. For future information, don’t talk to me while I’m working out, don’t ask me questions that will require me to think, and especially don’t do these things before I’ve had coffee!! I will probably growl at you in lieu of an answer. So basically don’t talk to me before 7 am – after that I am showered and am sipping my first cup of java and will pleasantly answer any and all questions you may have. Following these rules will ensure that my wrath will not end up on your head. It’s a win-win for everyone if we observe and respect them.

Okay kids, that’s all I got for now. Have a good weekend! 

I took this morning off work because my 2 older kids are going away to camp this week (and leaving at 2 different times, hence the entire morning off) and we shipped the youngest one off to grandma’s house, so that means for the next 5 days all my chicks will be out of the nest. I am alternately thrilled to death and worried to death. It’s going to be so quiet around here I won’t know what to do with myself! Situations like this can lead to a bit of anxiety eating, so I’m going to have to watch that. 

The first week of No Junk June was a success! I ate healthy all week long and I worked out 6 days in a row last week. I haven’t worked out 6 days in a row since…well never really. In college I used to walk every day and by walk I mean POWER WALK LIKE A MUTHA. I’m serious, my roommate was serious about her walk and she always dragged me along for the ride. But since then? Not so much. 

The first four days were probably the hardest. Fighting off the cravings for junk food and working out every morning at 5:30 really wore me out. Friday night though, I slept for TEN HOURS, and since then, I’ve felt pretty good. Working out at 9:00 Saturday morning was weird, but I did it. Sunday was a rest day, and yes, I did rest. I rested like a boss. Thank You God for naps!

Oh! I got new shoes. I went to the running store and Drew set me up with some purple Brooks and oh my gosh I feel like I’m walking on a cloud in these things!! I worked out in them on Saturday morning and they felt great. I loosened up the laces this morning when I worked out and I had some discomfort, so I think the key is keeping them tight enough so that my foot doesn’t move around too much inside, but if I tighten them too much my foot gets anxious and feels like it can’t breathe (sounds weird, but I think my foot has claustrophobia!!). Drew also offered some insoles, but I couldn’t tell the difference between having them in or out, but I might still consider getting them. And also while I was there, I bit the bullet and bought a Juno Moving Comfort sports bra – I love this thing but my goodness! It takes me forever to get thing on and off!! I get a work out just trying to shimmy into it! But man, it holds the girls in VERY WELL which is nice. 

I find it interesting that I scoffed when my husband offered to buy me a $150 handbag last week, but I have no problems whatsoever dropping $200 on sports gear. My priorities are weird, no? 

So I’m starting week 2 of No Junk June and week 2 of JNL Fusion. Let’s see if I can keep up the momentum – Oooh the suspense!!

I bought new shoes last Saturday at our local sporting goods store and hey guess what? I hate them. They kill my feet. They’ll be fine for walking, but for doing jumping jacks and other jump-y things they are horrible. My arches and the outside of my foot ache terribly when I’m wearing them so I end up kicking them off and doing the DVDs barefoot, which so far hasn’t been bad, but I don’t think I should keep doing that. Does anyone know if a running store could help me with that? Even though I’m not running, I figure they know exercising feet and might be able to fit me in a shoe that won’t make me cry when I work out. 

This is me right now. Awkward and uncomfortable but willing to be that way while I change. 

Have a great day! 

So, according to the calendar on my wall it’s June. According to my internal calendar, it’s still March. Can someone get those two to sync up? That’d be great, thanks.

Anyway, the fabulous Kyra and I are doing a sort of challenge to get our rears in gear: No Junk June. We’re trying to cut out all the bad stuff and focus on eating good wholesome foods, so for the month of June, I am going to cut out sugary treats/snacks and processed foods (as much as I can). I’m pretty sure this is going to be a learning curve for me since I’ve been eating processed foods for approximately 40 years. Can this old dog learn new tricks? Stay tuned to find out!

I’m also starting a new set of fitness DVDs that my niece loaned me. It’s called JNL Fusion and from what I can tell they are along the lines of interval/circuit workouts, and they’re approximately 30 minutes in length. I’ve done one of them and although it was challenging, it wasn’t unbearable. I have hope that I can make it through without, ya know, dying. There are 13 (maybe 14) different discs and there’s a schedule to follow that tells you which disc to do on a certain day. It’s a 60 day program, so I hope that at the end of the 60 days I’ll look like a fitness model. Ha! Is there such a thing as plus size fitness models? There should be!! I’m actually just hoping I can stay with it for the full 60 days. Anyone wanna take bets on how long I last  join me in my quest? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller???

I need to dangle a carrot in front of myself to make myself stick with it. Some kind of fun reward I can look forward to – any ideas?

I’ll report back and let you know how things are going with both the DVDs and with the food. It should be interesting to say the least!

• Facebook pages from fitness trainers. Two of my favorites are The Fit Fight by Aimee and The Action Plan – Get Fit Over 40. The first is from a bootcamp instructor in Texas and the second is a trainer from…somewhere (I don’t actually know where she’s out of, sorry!). They both post some really great motivational thoughts and graphics every day – I find that things like that help me stay focused and in a “healthy” mind set. 
  
• Hang around people who are already fit and healthy. I got to spend some time over the weekend with my nieces who all work out and eat healthy for the most part. My niece Krysten  has lost 50+ pounds in the last year or so by eating mostly clean and working out like a champ. She’s always been a beauty, but now she looks toned and fit and trim as well. I’m so proud of her because she has worked so hard and let’s face it, she has my genes which means we were born from a people of leisure – being active does not come naturally for us. But she kicked it in the teeth and now does bootcamp and fitness dvds and lives a busy, active life. I figure if she can get up at the buttcrack of dawn and get it done, I can too.
• Buy some cute new workout clothes and get good shoes! I bought a new work out top for Zumba and my husband said I looked like Rainbow Brite, but I don’t care. It fits well and is perfect for jumping around at Zumba. I’m going to try and get new shoes this weekend because nothing ruins a good workout like hurty feet.
• I’m still using my Jar of Gems! Is it overflowing with gems? Um… no, but it’s getting there. I have my gem in my pocket right now and I’m going to do all that I can to add it to my jar tonight.

So that’s what’s keeping me going this week. Are there any other motivating FB pages or websites that I should know about? How do you stay motivated?

Old Thought: standing in front of the fridge at 7 am and wondering what to bring for lunch for the workday.

New Thought: packing my lunch the night before so I can take my time and make good choices.

Old Thought: standing in front of the fridge at 7 pm wondering what to make for dinner.

New Thought: shop/chop/make a menu over the weekend so I have plenty of options for dinners throughout the week.

Old Thought: I’m too tired to work out and I’m too out of shape to do anything other than walking.

New Thought: Working out will energize me and if I can make it through last night’s Zumba session without dying then dammit I can do anything!

I think for me, the key is in the planning. For a really long time (probably since I’ve been alive) I’ve been a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of person which sounds freeing and fun, but really it’s left me feeling frazzled and out of control more often than not. I hope that getting into the habit of pre-planning will help change my thinking which will eventually change my habits and eventually will change how I live my life.

Do you find that pre planning is key in your weight loss or maintenance? How do you prepare for the upcoming week?

I’m here, I’m fine, things have been a little hectic lately but I’m good. The tornado in Moore last week weighed heavily on my mind and it was hard to write about weight loss when so many people have lost their homes, their belongings, and some even their lives. Thanks so much for all your kind words in my last post – I appreciate you all. We visited my sister in Norman (which is right next to Moore) over the holiday weekend and on our way back we drove past some of the damage – it was unreal. You just can’t imagine how disconcerting it is to see a mangled car resting upside down INSIDE of a house or to see an entire convenience store (gas pumps and all) just leveled the way high grass gets bent when you walk over it. If you know anything about Oklahoma, you know there’s a church on every corner, and thankfully at every church in Moore is an aid station. Chances are if a victim of the tornado doesn’t have food or water or clothing, it’s because they are too proud to ask for it – there was so much being offered to victims it was amazing. They have a long road ahead, but they’ll be okay eventually. 

I’ve got some posts that I’m working on and I’ll roll them out in the next day or so about how to make the transition from slug to super hot babe (or at the very least, less slug-like) so check back tomorrow. I’m serious guys, I’m done being forty, fat, and frumpy. It ends now.