Helloooooo!!!! Work’s been a tad bit busy lately, ergo no time to post, but here I am today – willing and ready to blog up a storm!
Well, maybe not a storm, maybe a little rain shower? A passing dark cloud that has the potential for some precipitation? Whatever, I’ll just start typing and we’ll see what happens as a result.
So, last Saturday’s weigh in resulted in another pound lost. I weighed in at 191.2 and received my first 5 pound star as well (I’ve actually lost 5.8 pounds for those of you keeping track). I would have had a bigger loss on the scale but the hubs and I went out on this thing called a “date” on Friday night. It’s been so long since we’ve gone that I couldn’t actually remember what one does on a date. Apparently for us it includes eating Mexican food and seeing a movie (we’re so original). I intended to skip the chip basket and just order something small, but I was too hungry when we got to the restaurant and I’m ashamed to admit that I demolished the chip basket and the salsa that came with it. I also had a small-ish margarita, because hey, Mexican food. I ordered grilled shrimp and onions, but unfortunately said shrimp came covered in a cheese sauce. The upside is that the cheese sauce was not very thick so it only lightly coated the shrimp instead of being thick and gooey and attaching itself at the hip of the shrimp. Anyway, I didn’t lose as much as I probably would have if we had just eaten at home, is what I’m saying, but I’ll take a one pound loss any day – I’m happy with it.
From Saturday until last night, I kind of went off the rails and I’m not even sure why. There was too much snacking, too much tasting, too-big portions, just too much. I don’t think it’s because I’ve been restricting myself or feeling deprived, on the contrary, for the last four weeks I’ve felt good about my food choices and made sure to include a few treats here and there. I think it’s because 1) I haven’t been drinking enough water, and 2) I haven’t been getting enough fruits and vegetables. I am amazed at how differently my “wanting” behaves when I eat lots of fruits/veggies versus when I don’t. If I don’t eat a big salad at least once a day, I get super snacky, or if I eat too much processed stuff then I find myself wanting more More MORE. When my food is clean and balanced, I am much more able to deal with the “wants”. I know there are a lot of you out there right now reading this and thinking “Well duh, Jill!” but until you can get on the other side of that mountain, you don’t realize how it can affect you. I’ve never been on the other side of the mountain until now. Sure, I’ve heard others say it, but I have to experience it for myself before it becomes real to me. I finally gave myself a mental “snap out of it!” and I packed a huge salad for lunch today, along with some fruit and nuts for a snack later.
Oh I gotta tell you about breakfast: lately I’ve been eating wheat toast with Laughing Cow cream cheese wedges and a glass of milk, but I felt like I needed more protein to hold me through the morning, so I did something I promised myself I would never ever do again. I was short on time, and felt that I had to lower my standards and do something I haven’t done in 30 years. I…(I’m so ashamed to admit this)…I…microwaved my eggs this morning. GAG!!! They were as nasty as I remembered from when we first got our microwave when I was 10 and I thought making scrambled eggs in the magic cooking box was the greatest thing ever. Only they weren’t the greatest thing ever. Not even close. Granted, I overcooked them this morning because I was going off of what I remembered from 30 years ago – I can’t even remember what I did last week, you really expect me to remember things from 30 years ago? Anyway, they were dry and rubbery and completely gaggy, but I ate them anyway and I’m please that they have held my hunger in check all morning long, so it wasn’t a total failure. And yes, I’ve heard about cooking eggs in a mug or whatever, but for me, the microwave is good for reheating or defrosting, but cooking? Not so much. I like my eggs fresh and fluffy and cooked on the stove thankyouverymuch.
In other news, here’s a work update if you’ve been following that saga: nothing has changed. My boss is not quitting (I’m not surprised) and things are rolling the same as they have for the last 6 years. Nothing is going to change, and I’ve learned to accept that. I’ve also learned to just appreciate what I have here (lots of freedom and a convenient location, plus excellent benefits) and ignore the rest. Most of the jobs that are comparable to my position pay a lot less (like a whole lot less) and with this economy, I’m better off just staying put for right now. If something amazing falls into my lap, sure I’ll take it, but I keep checking the sky and so far nothing looks to be falling in my lap’s general direction. I’m here to stay for awhile apparently.
In other, other news, I’ve decided to put therapy on hold for awhile. I had a session last week and we spent most of that time looking for things to talk about. She was glad I had started Weight Watchers – she thought the boundaries would be good for me (as in simplifying things for me) and since I’m feeling so much better than I was 6 months ago, she said that instead of scheduling another appointment, I could just call her if I felt like I needed to. So that’s the route we’re going for now. If I feel like things are getting out of my hands, I’ll call her and we’ll pick it up again, but for now I feel really good about things. I think the birth control is helping my moods and of course eating better is helping as well. So for today, right now, I feel good and can’t justify the expense of therapy. It’s nice knowing it’s out there for me though, if I feel I need it.
So that’s the latest, folks. Was that a storm? Do you feel like I blogged up a storm? Do you feel as if you’ve been swept up in the tornado of my life? I’m a tornado, looking for a man to break, you know. Okay, gotta run. Well not really, more like twist wildly, because I’m, you know, a tornado.