Found my next race:
Doesn’t that look SUPERFUN?!? June 23rd I’ma be covered up in COLOR!!
I guess you could say I’ve been in a bit of funk since my birthday/5k. The post-race blues, the time change, allergies, the weather, PMS and host of other things has made me one tired, cranky wench who would rather run away and hide than try to deal with anything. It’s not been good y’all.
I was thisclose to joining Weight Watchers (again, le sigh) when I said to myself, “it’s not about the food, Jill, it’s never about the food”. So if it isn’t about the food, and a diet isn’t the answer, what is? I am sick of carrying this weight around. I’m sick of the behaviors that led to this weight. I’m so tired of wallowing in the muck – I just want to start making some progress SOMEWHERE, which led me to Google Binge Eating Disorder. I’m reading a lot about it and I don’t know for certain if this is what I have, but I think I may have a mild form of it. One of the many ways to cope with BED is to stop the negative thoughts that play in our minds – I thought I had this one licked. I don’t say things like “you fat pig” or “you’re worthless” to myself, however I realize that I say things like:
The voice in my head isn’t just negative, it’s SARCASTIC. Oh great – not only do I get negativity, I get a snarky, acerbic dialogue going on in my head all the time and defeating this voice is probably going the hardest thing I have to do. And I don’t know if I have the energy to do it.
I haven’t been running much and when I do run, it’s half-hearted at best. I just can’t seem to kick it back into high gear lately. The fact that it has been gray and rainy for the last 3 days isn’t helping things either. Maybe when the weather clears up, so will my mood.
So that’s the reason for my lack of posts lately. I’ll climb out of this pit eventually, but until then I just gotta ride out this wave of gloom. And the first person who busts out with “The Sun Will Come Out…Tomorrow!!” gets smacked with a dead fish. Heed my warning!
Well, it wasn’t pretty, but I did it. And I take back everything I said about Mother Nature – she was awfully good to me Saturday morning. In fact, it was so beautiful out that before the race even started, I had already shed 2 of the 4 layers I was wearing and I ended up shedding that third layer 1/4 of the way through the race.
Apparently I was the first person to register for the race. Several times throughout the run other runners would point to me and say “hey you’re number one!!” to which I would reply “At least if I come in dead last, I’m still #1!!”
Shawn and the kids came out to cheer me on, which was really nice. I’m glad they were there because my 2 friends who were supposed to run with me both had to cancel. It would have been a lonely day if my little family hadn’t been there.
So we start the race and I’m doing okay for about the first half mile then I begin to struggle. This race was an out-and-back and what I didn’t realize until later was that the first part of the race was on a slight incline most of the way. It was tough. Then about halfway through, my right food started to go numb. Then the middle toes on my left foot started to ache along with my arch. I thought that maybe my shoes were tied too tight, so I stopped for a moment to retie, but that didn’t really help at all. Pretty soon my whole right foot was completely numb, but since I couldn’t feel anything it also didn’t hurt anymore. I don’t know if it’s my shoes or my weight, or a combination of both, but I don’t want to go through that hell again.
I ended up walking quite a bit more than I had intended. I just didn’t have it in me to run as much as I wanted to – guess I’ll have to keep working on that. I did run the last half mile – very slowly, but I knew the finish line was coming so I just hung in there as much as I could.
I crossed the finish line at 44:23. I figured it would probably take me about 45 minutes, so I was right on. However, 2 years and 25 pounds ago, I ran a 5k in 36:21 (and I had hardly trained for that race), so you can see what a big difference all that weight makes. I really want to run faster, which means I really need to lose weight and train outside more often than I have been.
After my race, we went home and showered and headed over to my mom’s house to have my birthday with my sisters and their families. I got a Coach purse from one sister (yay!!) and the coolest necklace from my other sister – it’s a necklace made from a 1933 typewriter key with my initial “J” on it. Mom gave me a gift card which I am going to use next weekend. I love birthdays!!
All in all it was a really great day and I’m glad I did the run. I’ve got my eye on a race in May – we’ll see about it when it gets closer. I definitely want to run some more races this year – it’s just way too much fun to quit with one!!
So the Birthday 5k* is on Saturday and I’m excited and nervous. I’m going to pick up my race packet tomorrow and then I think I’ll be all set. Except for this:
There’s a nice little chance of rain on Saturday which really pisses me off to no end. I mean seriously Mother Nature? You’re really gonna do this to me?
I have a long sporty rain jacket I can wear that I think will be okay for running, but is there anything else I should think about? Anything that I might not realize I need? I would love love love your suggestions on how to run in the rain.
Also, I am really struggling on the food front. I don’t feel like I am eating too much but the scale bounces around between the same 3 pounds and I would love to get things moving downward. I’m running 3 days a week and strength training with the WiiFit 2 days a week – I thought that might get things moving, but so far I haven’t seen any progress. I’m very seriously thinking of joining Weight Watchers just for the weekly accountability. And since I hate counting points/calories, I thought I might try the Simply Filling plan they have, but really I know nothing about it – anyone out there have any experience with it? I’ve also considered finding a nutritionist in the area, but I have no idea how much that would cost and honestly, I don’t want to shell out big bucks right now for that. I’ll figure something out, hopefully it will be sooner rather than later.
Gotta run – lots of work to do today. Have a great day!
*not the real name of the 5k, but since it is on my birthday, I took the liberty of changing the name – because it’s my birthday and I can do whatever I want (except lose weight, apparently).
I’m amazed that: