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A 40-something woman trying to lose 40-something pounds

Monthly Archives: February 2012

Hey folks, how’s your Thursday?

It’s almost the end of February and it feels like New Year’s Day was a hundred days ago. So how are those resolutions holding up? If you find yourself floundering, I’ve got some great links to help you get remotivated on  your healthy living journey. Some of these are things I have found on my own, others are sites that have been brought to my attention by the entrepreneurs who started them, but I think they are all worthy of a look.

Links for Healthy Eating:

Thin Dish – I was contacted by Stan of Thin Dish site and because he expressed sincere appreciation of the  Peaches & Herb video I posted a few days ago (did you watch the video? DID YOU? I didn’t think so), I decided to take a look at his site. It is a very helpful resource for dining out.  If you know you are going to be going to a restaurant, you just plug in the place or select a few filter options, hit enter, and you will get a list of healthy-ish options from the restaurants in your area.  All of their recommendations are 600 calories or less – and while that might seem like a lot of calories, if you think about how many calories are usually in restaurant food, 600 is not so bad. Anyway, go check it out and send Stan some good 70s vibes.

Calorie Count - Calorie Count has revamped their calorie counting program to include rewards for logging in your foods and/or exercise. You get points for meeting certain goals and while the rewards aren’t all that great, it’s a fun way to track your calories. I have redeemed points for Peeled Snacks (dried fruit – very yummy) and for Rail Riders (I got a cool technical shirt for very little money). They are adding new rewards quite often, so hopefully the rewards will get better with fewer restrictions.

Made To Crave – I read Made to Crave last year and I really enjoyed the book. It’s described as being the book that helps you find your “want-to” instead of a how-to book. But just this year, author Lisa Terkherst partnered with Dr. Ski Chilton to come up with an Action Plan, or a how-to book to go along with the Made to Crave want-to book. I haven’t read the Action Plan book, but if you need a place to start, I think this would be a good resource, especially if you are a person of faith.

Links for Physical Health:

Ease Into 5k for Kindle - Heaven knows I love my Kindle, and if I hadn’t already made it through Couch to 5k, I would have ordered this. I haven’t used this, but I might actually order it just because. Actually, if you go to the Amazon Kindle site, there are lots of programs like this: one for abs, one for yoga, one for legs and most of them are very reasonably priced.

Health Rally –  this is an interesting site. Let’s say you want to do Couch to 5k, but you need some motivation…you can set up a page stating your goals, then decide on a reward that you would like to earn, then you can tell all of your family and friends about your desired goal and they can pledge money to help keep you motivated. If you reach your goal, you collect your money and go buy yourself the reward. Now, my main concern with this is that I don’t like asking people for money, BUT what if you set this up for your birthday? I know my family is always asking me what I want for my bday – wouldn’t it be nice to say “hey just go here and you can chip in to buy me some new running shoes!” That way, you get what you want, and your family knows that they are giving you something you could really use. Another way to use this site is to set it up for a friend – have a friend who is trying to quit smoking? Then  you can support and motivate your friend (or spouse, or child, or sibling) by setting up a page for them – and rewarding them for their perseverance.  You can also set up the page to contribute to a charity of your choice – it’s really adjustable to your preferences. Go check it out!

Another Mother Runner – I’ve just recently discovered this blog and I love it. If you are a runner or want to be a runner, this is a great  place to find motivation and support. Their book, Run Like a Mother is on my wish list, and it’s one of those things I will probably buy for myself for my birthday.

Links for Mental Health:

First Ourselves – I’ve talked about Karly and her site a lot here at the Pear, and I will continue to talk about her as long as she keeps working. Her work on body image and eating issues has helped me tremendously over the last few years. I’m still a work in progress, but I’ve come a long way thanks to this site.

Shrink Yourself – I did an online course 4 years ago on this site and it was the first step toward healing for me. It was in this course that I first realized that there were reasons that I overate – and I realized that I wasn’t an impulsive fat cow. This work opened my eyes to the connection between my mental and physical health.

Slim Down U – another blog that I just recently discovered. Jaki has lost a lot of weight, but the real greatness to her story is that she did it by being kind to herself. Her blog oozes positivity and it always brings a smile to my face every time I read it. She is proof that changing your mindset can change your life.

Well that should be enough to keep you busy for awhile. Have you discovered a great site lately that you think should be on this list? Let me know in the comments and I’ll try and add it here. Spring is upon us and now is a great time to get re-motivated and ready for summer! So get to clickin’ and have fun!

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Dear 25 Year Old Me,

Gosh you are so cute. You are slim and muscular and you have the most fabulous natural arch in your eyebrows. We had some good times with your cute self, didn’t we?

Well 25, here’s the deal. Since about 1997, I’ve been in a fruitless quest to get back to you. You were my IDEAL weight. I’ve dieted and exercised and worried and cried and fretted for 16 years just trying to get that 1996 body back. That’s a long time to want something. That’s a long time to look back.

I’m slowly realizing that I will never be you, ever again. Even if by the grace of God, I do lose 50 pounds and get back to the weight of my youth, I still won’t look like YOU. Even if we weigh the same – we will still look different. I won’t look like you ever again…and I’m trying to not be sad about that.

I’m going to be 41 in a couple of weeks and I’m tired of looking back. I’m tired of being afraid to face the present and the future – I’m afraid of feeling like they won’t be as good as the past once was. So my dear 25, I’m afraid I have to let go of the dream of you. I have to let go of the fact that I won’t ever, EVER, look like you again.

If I lose enough weight to resemble you, I still won’t BE you. No, I’ll be 41. And 41 – well she’s got a lot going on…she’s got big plans for this next year. 41 has a hot husband and great kids that she wants to focus on. 41 is spending more time with old friends and making new ones as well. 41 is smarter, more patient, and definitely funnier than you were. And 41 is working really hard to get her mental sh*t together so she can get rid of this extra weight.

So consider this a goodbye letter to the dreaming and wishful thinking that I will ever be you, 25.  I can’t charge full on into my 41st year if I’m still holding hands with you. You were awesome 25, and I will always be thankful for you, but now it’s time get to know 41 and see what she’s capable of doing.

Sincerely,

Me


I think I like my MWF running schedule better than my T TH Sa schedule – for some reason the former just feels more natural. Anyway, I got up a little late this morning so I had to cram in a run and in my barely-awake state, I decided to try running in my old (we’re talking Methuselah here) running shoes. Folks, don’t ever let me make me decisions before I’m fully caffeinated. I could tell right away it was a bad idea, but instead of stopping and finding my other running shoes, I decided to just run a little and walk a little more on the treadmill this morning. I walked for 3 minutes and ran for 5 minutes for a total of 30 minutes. It was okay, not great. It felt a little light compared to what I’ve been doing (hence the title of this post). Tomorrow is strength-training day, and hopefully Thursday will be a better run. I’m still setting the incline at 1% on my treadmill with the hope it will help prepare me for the real run which happens in…2 weeks. Yikes!!

Any day now, I should get a hefty little bonus from work which I will use to go get for-really-reals running shoes. In fact, I just checked my bank account online and…no extra monies yet. Boo.  So until then I am stuck with trying to run in shoes that I have absolutely no chemistry with. I mean if we were dating, the shoes and I would be secretly chatting with old flames on Facebook by now. It’s just not going to work out. Sorry shoes, it’s not you…well actually it IS you. But don’t worry, we’ll hang out occasionally because you are super cute – and you’re my alma mater’s colors, so there ya go. 

In related news, I’m thinking about getting some running tights and running socks, etc, but instead of paying a hefty price at the running store, I wonder if I could get just-as-good stuff at Target? Anyone have any experience with Tarzhays athletic line? Love it? Hate it? What say you?  Any excuse to go to Tarzhay is okay in my book.

I’m tired today, so I’m going to end this here before I get super goofy and just start typing random words.

Scuba suit!

See? it’s happening already.

Later taters – have a good afternoon!

 


One of my friends on Facebook posted this and I just wanted to share it  - for those of you who have never been to Oklahoma:

Yep, that’s pretty much it!!

Happy Friday everyone!!  :)


Dear Self,

Maybe it’s because you’ve been sick this week or maybe you’re just sick of it, but these thoughts about sweets you’ve been having lately are BIG. Desserts and sugary treats don’t really satisfy you anymore, do they? They haven’t been tasting as good lately and it just seems like a waste of time and calories when you keep eating them, hoping they’ll taste better with the next bite. So if you think you are really ready to cut back, then there are some things you need to know:

  1. You are going to need to find a replacement for your usual sweets. Fruit would probably be a good thing, but let’s think of some protein/fruit combos for when the habit to nosh strikes.
  2. You’ve already had coffee with sugar this morning, so right now you are feeling good. But what happens after lunch when you forgo your usual chocolaty dessert? There’s probably going to be some anxiety that comes up – are you ready to deal with that? If it gets to be too much, then have half or even a quarter of what you would usually have and see if that tides you over.
  3. There’s no need to be all-or-nothing about this. Let’s just do an experiment for the next few days and see how it goes, okay?
  4. You can do this! It’s one small change that will pay big dividends in the long run, and you will probably feel so much better right away.
  5. You will never regret NOT bingeing. You will never regret NOT eating 1000 calories of junk. Just keep that in mind when you are faced with that chocolate cake you made “for the kids”.

Let’s just go slow with this and see what happens. Cut some bad stuff out and put some better stuff in and above all, be nice to yourself. These are the paths to change.

Sincerely,

Me


I am feelin’ the love!! Not because it’s Valentine’s Day, not because I am still in love with the hubs (which I totally am), and not because Hugh Jackman showed up at my door with a dozen red roses (hey, a girl can dream, no?).

No, I am feeling it because of all of YOU.

After my defeated post yesterday, you all rallied around me and lifted me up so high I got a little vertigo. I can not thank you all enough for the encouraging words and tips and suggestions. It’s because of you guys that I keep on blogging. If I could plant a big sloppy kiss on all of you I would. Okay maybe not, because that would be awkward. But just know that I appreciate you guys SO MUCH.

One of my readers even offered her Personal Trainer services to help me finish my training so I will be totally ready for the race in a month. How cool is that?!

So I forgave Running for beating me up on Saturday, and this morning we enjoyed a little time together on the treadmill. I increased the incline to 1% like Pubsgal suggested and that made a difference – not enough to make it super difficult, but enough that I noticed it. Running and I have been reunited and it feels so good.

(the feathers, the beads, the fan – she is 70s perfection right there!)

Here’s what I want you all to do today, refer to yourself as Peaches and sing this song to the next person you see. I dare you!!  :)

Oh gosh!! You have to see this – take 30 seconds out of your day and watch this!! I mean, what’s Valentine’s Day without a little Barry White?!

The larger-than-life lapel!! The super glittery suit!! The hair!!  Seriously, what’s not to love about this?!?

Okay, that’s enough Love in the 70s for one day. Thanks again for being so great – I love the blogosphere!  I hope you each have a nice Valentine’s Day!

Self portrait - my Valentine's shirt.


I have a secret.

I’ve been working on a secret project for a few months now, and only a few people know about it. I’m very near the completion of said project, and I had planned on revealing my secret  with a most glorious blog post. In fact, most of it is already written, just sitting in my Drafts folder waiting to be published.

On Friday, I felt super confident about my project…cocky even, if I’m being honest.

And then on Saturday, to put it bluntly, I got my ass handed to me and my confidence came crashing to the ground in a spectacular display of FAILURE.

My secret? I have completed Weeks 1-8 of the Couch to 5k program. It’s all been treadmill, but still I was thrilled.

My failure? Read on my friends, read on…

For the last four years, the Couch to 5k program has been my Everest. I’ve started the program many times, but only ever made it as far as Day 1 of Week 5. For some reason, I never could get over that hump of Week 5 and the fear of the 20 minute run.

But back in November, I remembered there is a 5k race that I want to run in March. So I dusted off my treadmill, found my mp3 player and downloaded some C25k podcasts and began AGAIN. For some reason, this time something just clicked and before I knew it, I was waking up at 5am and running consistently 3 days a week. I had nearly completed Week 8 and while  it wasn’t always easy,  I could run over 2miles on my treadmill. ON MY TREADMILL – that part’s important to remember.

So since the 5k I want to run is a month away, I thought it might be a good idea to, you know, run on  ground that doesn’t move beneath me. I knew it would be different than running on a treadmill and wanted to get used to that before the race. Saturday morning, since it was 20 degrees outside, I headed up to the local rec center to use the inside walking/jogging track. It’s pretty small (10x around = 1 mile) and there were quite a few people using it, but I didn’t mind. I put in my ear buds, turned on my music, and started what was supposed to be Day 3 of Week 8 which is a 28 minute run. I nodded knowingly to the other runners and began my run.

I started off and right away I knew I was in over my head. This actual propelling-myself-forward-on-my-own-feet thing was ONE THOUSAND PERCENT HARDER than I had anticipated. Sweet Mother of Running, what the heck was going on?? I couldn’t find my pace, I couldn’t get my breathing right, my calves were screaming at me, and my feet were not happy about this new development.

After what seemed like forever, I glanced at my watch to see how long I had been going. Four minutes. Four minutes and 25 seconds. That’s how long I lasted before I had to slow down and walk. On my treadmill, I could do 28 minutes. On the ground, I barely lasted four freaking minutes.

(Insert crushing defeat here)

I walked for a bit and then tried to run again, in fact I tried several times to keep running, but honestly I was already done. My confidence had hit the wall and there was no getting it back. I was shattered. I mean, I knew it would be harder…I did…but I had no idea that it would be quite that different. I finally gave up  and left the track with my head hung low.

I came home and all Shawn had to say was “how was your run?” to get the tears flowing. Disappointed, frustrated, astonished – I was all of those things. I cried hard and told Shawn all about it, and I gotta give the man credit – he said all of the right things. He told me he was proud of me and that I shouldn’t give up, among other things. His words were exactly what I needed to hear, but I’m still sad.

I wanted more than anything, to be able to RUN this race. I wanted to be able to confidently say, “Yes, these chunky thighs can run 3miles!!”  I know there’s no shame in taking walk breaks, but this is a goal I had that I *thought* I would meet. Now I feel like I need to start over at the beginning, and there’s just no time.

I was scheduled to run again this morning, but I’m mad at running right now. I want to finish this last week of C25k , but does it really matter now? Does it even count? (This is where I stamp my foot and kick the wall and cross my arms and pout like a little kid. This is exactly how I feel today, and if I wasn’t at work, I would totally do all those things)

I know logically that even running on the treadmill is a big accomplishment for me – and each time I complete a run, I feel amazing. I’ll probably try to run on the treadmill on Tuesday and Thursday, and then maybe give it another shot on Saturday – it’s supposed to be warmer, so maybe I’ll head outside to the park and give it another go.  Maybe a humble attitude will make a difference.

I’ve got 3 more Saturdays that I can run outside before the race. I don’t know if this will give me enough time to get used to it. I’m not going to back out of the race, but I will be going into it a little less excited and a lot more wary.

Believe me, this is not the post I wanted to write today, but I feel like I need to get it out of my system before I can trudge forward into Week 9 – if there is a Week 9. Running and I might still not be speaking tomorrow, I’ll have to let you know.

 


Through a series of emails back and forth between the Miz and I, I got introduced to Attune Foods and the lovely Annelies offered to send me some Uncle Sam cereal to try. Being the cereal junkie I am, I thought “Yay! Free crack!!” and upon receiving said crack, opened the boxes immediately, and my cereal-addicted kids and I (the family that uses together, stays together!)  proceeded to taste-test all 3 (that’s right THREE!) boxes of Uncle Sam cereal.

I did not take this picture, but this is exactly what was sent to me. Clicking on the pic will take you to the original photo-taker's site.

 

The kiddos INHALED the Uncle Sam Strawberry cereal. I mean, it was like discovering fire for the first time – they were amazed. I was elated because  OMG THEY ACTUALLY ATE SOMETHING HEALTHY!! They weren’t so enamoured with the Original or the Honey Almond (I think they thought it was too “grown up” for them), but my husband tried the Honey Almond and he really liked it. I liked all 3 of them and even put some in my greek yogurt – awesomesauce is what it was. AND AND AND!!!!! being the thrifty chick I am, how excited was I to find $1 off coupons on each of the boxes?!?!? Woohoo!! I think they carry Uncle Sam cereal at my WalMart, so I’ma get me some more cereal quick-like. If you want to learn more about this crack cereal, then go HERE to the Attune Foods site and check it out. They have a great blog that I’ve been reading lately and it has some handy stuff too.

Here’s my Gary Busey-style self portrait today with my Uncle Sam cereal box (please ignore the crazy look in my eyes – and my chipmunk cheeks. My face is extra puffy today for some reason) :

Sorry for the blurriness. Give me a break - it was 7 o'clock this morning and I'd hadn't had my coffee yet.

 

So Yay for new cereal!! Double Yay for new cereal that makes you feel good about eating it!!

 

Dearest FCC: Attune Foods sent me the cereal. I ate it of my own accord. No one forced me. I also wrote the above review of my own accord. We good now? 


What I think I look like:

What I really look like:

Wait a minute!! Those 2 pictures look nothing alike – what’s up with that? Because in my head, I look like Tina Fey and I’m also as funny as Tina Fey too. But in reality, not so much.  When I take a picture of myself, I make sure and pose in such a way that makes me look the least fat/old/tired (see my picture in my sidebar? It took like 4 tries before I got a pic I was satisfied with). I’m always so surprised when a picture comes out looking less than Hollywood.  This photo I just snapped and uploaded before I could think about it – and all I can think when I see this pic is “fatfacefatfacefatface!!!” and I seriously thought my hair looked better than this.  Is there a disorder where you think you look better than you really do??? Cause I think I have it.


I forgot to do a self portrait yesterday – it was kind of a crazy day.

Today’s portrait is a picture of what I’m going to be doing today. It’s not even 10am and all my work is done, the boss is going to be out of the office for several hours today, and so I’m going to start reading Transformation Road by Sean Anderson. I’m going to take advantage of the quiet day and read.

PS – do you see the faint trace of pink nail polish on my thumb? When a 6 year old wants to give you a manicure, you don’t say no. I can’t bring myself to take the polish off because every time I look at it, I’m reminded of her.  :)

 



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