Monthly Archives: August 2011

Yesterday was Monday all day long. You know, it was one of those days – I woke up late, got to work, had annoying coworkers to deal with, and then at 3:40 my son calls me and says he has to go to a “meet the football team” thing (he plays in the school band and they had to be there). I hate it when unexpected things pop up like that, but I got home and made a quick dinner then we went to the football field. As I sat in the bleachers, I noticed not the overweight folks who were there, but all the moms who looked to be about my age.  I noticed A LOT of these women who were 35-45 years of age were THIN. Not mildly overweight, not chubby, not “need to lose ten pounds”, but there seemed to be a bunch of them that were slender, normal weight women. Whatever direction I looked there was a mom whose body I wistfully envied.

My self esteem took a swan dive right about then.

(source)

You know how when you get a new car, suddenly every car on the road is the same kind as yours? Or when you get pregnant, baby bumps are every where you look? Usually I notice women who are overweight like I am, but last night all I could see were the thin moms. After the program, I stood waiting for my son and had a chance to really look at these women. They weren’t skinny, they didn’t look like they paid a lot of money to look the way they do, they just looked like they didn’t eat too much and probably exercised regularly. They were normal moms who didn’t have a weight problem. Every-freaking-where I looked, there they were…showing me what I could have been if I had just taken a different path.

Or what I COULD look like if I keep to the path I am on. I remember thinking the all to familiar phrase “I need to do something about my weight.” And then my next thought was “I AM doing something about it. Right now. I’m doing something by eating dinner early and not snacking the rest of the evening.  I’m doing something by tracking my calories and walking.  It may not be noticeable yet, but I am doing something about it.” And that simple thought made me feel so much better!  Yes, it might take a while to get there (Go Turtles!) but if I just keep doing what I’m doing, I WILL get there.

Maybe by next year’s Meet the Football Team night, I’ll be one of those thin moms. (Fingers crossed!)

Posted by Jill in fitness

Hello folks!!

You may have noticed that I haven’t blogged much in the last couple of months and there’s really no reason for it other than, like exercise, if I don’t do it first thing it doesn’t get done.

I’m still hanging around 185 pounds which is 5 pounds down from my restart in mid July. The last couple of weekends have had a lot of restaurant and fast food meals, something I don’t typically do on a normal basis and I can tell that has wrecked a little havoc on my weight loss, but I’m back to making decent choices and I feel good. I’ve been walking for a half hour most days and I even went to Zumba again on Tuesday after a 3 month haitus – my Zumba buddy got pregnant and was super nauseated all the time, so no Zumba. I don’t know why I don’t just go by myself. I’ll put that on my list of things to do.  :)

Since I’ve started walking again regularly, I am amazed at how much better I feel. Mentally, emotionally, physically – it all feels pretty good right now. Why I can’t remember this when I’m in an exercise funk, I’ll never know.

My Secret Weight Loss group on Facebook is humming along. I’ve got 13 members total, but only about 6 of us are active commenters, which is fine. I’m a little concerned though because I don’t know how to respond to some of the ladies’ weight loss attempts.  Of the active members, 2 of us are in the slow and steady camp, 2 of them are lowcarbers, one is more exercise oriented, and one is doing the HGC diet. I know everyone has to find what works for them, but honestly some of the stuff they write about makes me cringe. And also, when they post huge losses (one girl lost 7 pounds last week – and she’s not obese that I can tell) even though I know it’s not healthy, I still get this twinge of “ooooh, maybe I should try low carb for awhile!”. I’ve done low carb and it just didn’t agree with me. I want to “lose it the way I want to live it” (is that a WW quote? where did that quote start?) and for me that means focusing on eating all kinds of healthy foods in moderate amounts, even if it means slower weight loss. I just try to encourage them as best as I can and I’d like to start incorporating a topic of the day or include articles on healthy living or something along those lines.

So really that’s about all I’ve got going on. This might be the least exciting blog post ever. Sorry bout that. I’ll try to make the next post a little more entertaining!  :)

Posted by Jill in fitness

If you’ve spent any length of time around the weight loss blogosphere, I’m sure you’ve heard that it’s important to make peace with your body, and I believe that 100%. For me, it was a huge revelation to understand that my body is not the enemy. My body does some pretty amazing stuff and I try to remember that when I’m having trouble zipping up last year’s pants.

But I’ve also recently come to realize that I have to make peace with something else. Something I used to kick and scream against, something I used to white knuckle my way through until I was left a sobbing mess in the corner.

I realize now that I have to make peace with the weight loss process.

I have started doing that, and I believe this is going to be the thing that eventually gets me to my goal. I am realizing that it doesn’t have to be so soul-crushingly difficult to just eat a little less and move more. In the past, I used to fight so hard to lose weight without really changing anything. Or I felt like I had to change EVERYTHING and I just couldn’t do it, so I would settle comfortably back in my old rut. Counting calories or points was so crazy-making because it’s hard to stay within your allotted range when all you are eating is Oreos and Cheetos. And when you refuse to go any faster than 2.5 miles on the treadmill, it’s pretty hard to burn any fat. Now though, I realize that I can make changes that feel good to me. I’ve discovered that pushing myself to go faster on the treadmill feels good, and cherry tomatoes and Laughing Cow cheese make an excellent snack in the afternoon. I’m sort of just going with the flow and being honest with myself about how I feel.

And really, I have no idea how I started making the shift from I MUST LOSE WEIGHT NOW, to I’m just going to do the best I can at this weight loss thing. Well that’s not exactly true, I do have a couple of ideas of what has helped: Listening to the Untangled sessions has helped with some of the inside stuff, reading MB’s blog has helped me realize that sometimes slow and steady is the only way to get there, and also tracking my calories in a less Nazi-like fashion has been helpful too.  Instead of telling myself I must not eat more than 1200 calories per day, I tell myself to just stay under 1800 calories. Most of the time I come in around or under 1400 calories and that totally works for me.

After 13 years of trying to lose weight, trying diet after diet, pills, shakes, supplements, etc etc etc…I have finally come to understand am  starting to understand that there is no magic solution. There is no trick or secret to losing weight. The solution is so crazily obvious I didn’t want to see it (hello Forest, meet Trees). The solution, I have slowly and painfully come to realize, is ME. I am the solution to my weight loss problems. I have everything I need to do this. Buying cute workout clothes will not guarantee that I will work out. Having a gym membership will not guarantee that I will go. Having lots of workout dvds does not mean that I will actually use them. The only thing I really and truly need is ME. Do the accouterments of weight loss help? Sure, if you use them. I love the Calorie Count website, my treadmill, and my Facebook group (we’re up to 13 members – woo!) and they all help me do what I need to do to get the weight off, but they don’t do it FOR me.

I still have a long way to go, but for right now, today, I’m okay with that. As long as I am going in the right direction, I’ll get there eventually.

Posted by Jill in fitness