Monthly Archives: January 2011

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Howdy!

Hope you all are having a fine Monday (as if).

We sold Shawn’s boat and money is in the bank! Yay! It’s nice to have that done and over with. Shawn has been gone for almost 2 weeks now and his schedule will be 30 days on and 10 days off so he’ll get to come home sometime around the 22nd of Feb, which is about 3 weeks away. I think he plans on going back through the end of March, so we’ll have a couple more stints of him being away, but knowing when he’ll be able to come home helps a lot. I hate it that he isn’t here, but absence makes the heart grow fonder, ya know?

Saturday was a GORGEOUS day here. It was 75* and sunny, so after I did a work out on the elliptical (!) I loaded up the kids and headed to the park. Not a single cloud in the perfect blue sky. I ate well all weekend – no binges, lots of veggies and protein. I felt really great all weekend long, except for missing Shawn – but we text each other about 50 times a day so that makes it not so hard. Yes, the weekend was a great one…

However, what a difference a day makes – we are preparing for a huge snow dump tomorrow. Freezing rain followed by 18 inches of snow with a 40 mph wind. I’ve got instructions on how to run the generator, where the big extension cord is, and where to find the gas can (which powers the generator). We are loaded up with groceries, toilet paper, and extra batteries for the flashlights, so we are ready to be snowed in for awhile. If the power doesn’t go out, we will be fine. I’m praying that the power will stay on, or if it does go out, it won’t be for long. I don’t want to go through this again. This is a pretty big storm, and it even affects where Shawn is working, so if he can’t work for several days he might (oh please God yes) get to come home for a few days. Please pray for super strong power lines for us and safe travels for Shawn!! I would really appreciate it. This is going to be an interesting week, that’s for sure!

I am fully aware that this is going to be a tricky time – sitting around with nothing do = big binge opportunities. I’m going to do my best to stay active like I did all weekend. With 3 kids, there is always something to clean, so maybe I’ll come out on the other side of this storm with my spring cleaning all done! Wouldn’t that be a hoot?!

Okay, well I’ve got to get some work done because my boss is already saying we may be closed for the next few days. Need to get ahead of the game just in case. Send warm and sunny vibes my way, will ya? Thanks.

UPDATE: My husband is coming home tonight!! He’s on his way even as I type this. YAY!!!

Posted by Jill in fitness

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So I feel like I want to talk about the Boot Camp atmosphere. It is not what I expected, and I feel like I am a little out of place there. What I mean is, at BC there is no whining. There is no complaining, bitching, or griping. You don’t hear “I can’t do it” or “this is too hard” from anybody (except me on the first day). In fact, an email was sent out after the first day to all the participants and explicitly said (and I’m paraphrasing here) “Negativity is not allowed – no one wants to hear you whine, so suck it up!”

What?!?  Whining is what I do! I mean, what’s the fun of suffering if you can’t vocalize your pain? I’m kidding (sort of), but really I am surprised at these women. They WANT to do the hard stuff like lunges and mountain climbers. They LIKE sprinting across the gym floor and high stepping their way back. It’s crazy, really. I have never in my life been surrounded by women who don’t agonize their way through a work out. Boot Camp is a totally different mind set than what I’m used to.

Which has led me to do some soul-searching and deep-thinking and damn, it’s no wonder I’m at my highest weight ever. In the last 4 years (since I started this job) I have become very lazy and complacent with my health. I sit at a desk for 40 hours a week and what little exercise I get is from cleaning the kitchen and doing laundry – not a sweat inducing workout at all (at least not the way I do it).  I have become a fat, lazy out of shape working mom/wife. And that’s not a disparaging remark against myself, it’s just fact. I am fat. I am lazy. I am out of shape.

BUT!

I like this new boot camp way of thinking. I like it that I have sore muscles where I never thought muscle existed before. I like showing my husband the heinous push ups we did in class and challenging him to do more (he always wins).  I like it that I come home sweaty and red-faced.  It’s hard, but it feels good to be doing the right thing. It’s hard not to complain, but I don’t want to be the Negative Nelly in the class, so I’ll keep my mouth shut and just do the best I can.

I really want to keep going with this. I WANT to be healthy, fit, and trim. I’m going to be 40 this year and I really want to get my act together (at least somewhat) and make this a year I don’t regret.

Just to clarify – the email that the instructor sent out was a generic form letter that was from the Summer Boot Camp session. It included a list of 10 Things to Know such as drink plenty of water, bring a mat if you have one, and oh by the way, no whining. So the email was not a result of my whining – the only actual whining I did was to my neighbor. It wasn’t as if  everyone in the class could hear me whine – I’m not that self centered, and don’t want to bring that much attention to myself.  :)

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So yesterday I was getting ready to leave work –only 30 minutes left to go- when Mr. Brown, my very sweet neighbor, knocked on the door to my office holding a paper plate with foil covering. His wife had made a big batch of Mississippi Mud Brownies to take to a social gathering that got cancelled, so she made up a plate of brownies for me, and Mr. Brown volunteered to deliver them. We chatted for a few minutes, then he left and since I was genuinely hungry, I ate the brownies.

All 3 of them.

They were so sugary and sweet and yes, the first few bites tasted good, but after that, not so much. But I kept eating them because…I don’t know why. Mainly habit, I think? I honestly didn’t know what to do with 3 brownies. I knew that I would eat one. But then what would I do with the other two? After I ate one, I wanted another one and saw that there was one left. I didn’t want to throw it away, because who throws away a perfectly perfect brownie? So even though I knew I didn’t want it, I just wanted to get rid of it, down the hatch it went! When I licked the last of the chocolate off my fingers, I felt ill. Genuinely sick. Those brownies were so rich that they made me sick. I felt awful, and then I realized that it totally wasn’t worth it.

WAS NOT WORTH IT!

I went to Boot Camp and worked out hard, hoping to work off at least half of one brownie, but I still felt ill the whole time. Even when I got home and the hubs offered me the last of the tacos for dinner, I waved it off saying that I wasn’t hungry and had a bit of heartburn (totally the truth). Miserable! Is what I was. I didn’t eat dinner, but about 9 pm I was hungry again so I ate a couple of crackers, a small handful of pecans, and a half a glass of milk. That was all that sounded good at the time.

I really had to talk myself off the guilt-ledge. I had to tell myself that it was a learning experience and even though I knew better, it was just a mistake to learn from. I am not in my binge-fog anymore and eating stuff like that just doesn’t serve me well (not that it ever did). I gave myself lots of compassion and caring and finally had to just LET IT GO. I made a mistake – that’s what humans do, and I am 100% human.

I still wish I hadn’t eaten those brownies. Okay, well I wish I hadn’t eaten 2.5 of those brownies, because they were good! But next time I hope I’ll really take the time to remember how I felt yesterday – and maybe I won’t fall for that sweet temptation again. Sometimes I wonder if I am ever going to get it – will I always fall for the same trap again and again? I think the day that I can face down a plate of brownies and NOT feel the need to eat all of them will be the day I become a success. It won’t be the day I hit my goal weight, it won’t be the size 8 pants, it won’t even be the day I fully run a 5k without stopping. It will be the day I can say “gosh those brownies look good, but I really don’t want them, so I’ll pass for today.”   THAT will be my gold star day.

Posted by Jill in fitness

So, this week has been sort of…crazy? Odd? Painful, but in a good way, but also in a not-good way? Whatevs. Here’s the dealio (and suddenly I’ve turned into a 14 year old girl with my kickin slang):

Monday: Boot Camp!!! Lots of fun, it was. Really I had a good time and since it was the first class I think the instructor went a little easy on us, because I wasn’t so sore the next day. And did I mention that the instructor is my favorite neighbor N?  She is awesome and tons of fun and giggly like me. So that’s a plus.  After Boot Camp, I went home and played on our brand new Wii Fit Plus (that we got for free, sort of, so yay!). I got loads of muscle work in that day – it was a pretty good day on the exercise front, if I do say so myself!  Woo!

Tuesday: Had to elbow my way through kids to get a few minutes on the Wii Fit. As I suspected, I rock at yoga. I have excellent balance according to the trainer who speaks without moving her lips (and that’s not annoying at all – insert sarcasm font here).

Wednesday – Let me back up for a sec – Sunday night I ran out of saline solution for my contacts. I soaked my lenses in some re-lubricating drops that night and all next day. Monday I wore my glasses to work and then after work, went and got some saline solution. Tuesday morning, I rinsed my lenses really well and put in my contacts, which felt a little funny, but not bad. About mid morning, they really started bothering me, so I called my husband to see if he could bring my glasses and contact stuff (case and saline) to me at work. He had already left the house and was in another town, so he couldn’t bring them to me. I ran to a store and bought some more lube for my contacts and thought that maybe they were just dry. I fussed with my contacts for a couple of hours and then the vision in one eye started to get cloudy, like looking through fog or something. I messed with my contacts the rest of the day, but couldn’t take them out until I got home. When I finally got home, I took those contacts out and threw them away, and then realized, it wasn’t my contacts that were cloudy, it was MY EYE.  It burned a little bit, but I had to get to Boot Camp, so even though my eye was kind of swollen and red, I went and worked out anyway and OH MY GRAVY that was one tough workout!! I’m still sore today (Friday), but in a good way. Hurts so good!! Then when I got home, my eye was really starting to bother me, so I flushed it with water and tried to just lay down and close my eye. HOLY CATS, that’s when the pain really set in. I could not close my eye. I was SO tired, but I couldn’t close my eye because it would sting and burn so bad. I said a few prayers (and by prayers I mean relentlessly begging God for mercy) and lo and behold, after a couple of hours He answered my prayer and I was able to situate my eye in such a way that it did not burn and I got a few hours of sleep. Which brings us to…

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Thursday:  when I woke up my eye was so dry and tired and swollen and red that I didn’t even bother putting on makeup. Yes, I had to throw out my southern pride and go to work with no make up. It was horrifying, but really I was in so much pain that I didn’t care (much). Trying to drive to work was difficult and dangerous because I couldn’t keep my eyes open well, they were disturbed by the light. Somehow I made it to work, called my eye doc and she said “come right in”. My boss drove me to the doc’s, because clearly I was in no shape and shouldn’t have driven in to work to begin with. I told him I felt like I had been beaten up and he so graciously said “yeah, you kinda look like you’ve been beaten up” – thanks, Boss. Your tact is limitless. Anyway, when I got to the eye doc, she gave me some numbing drops (THANK YOU GOD FOR NUMBING DROPS!!!) and looked at my eye and said I had several tiny scratches on my cornea. OUCH!!!! Doesn’t it make you cringe just thinking about it? Ugh. I was really kind of hoping she would give me a cool pirate eye patch, but no such luck. She did give me 3 different eye drops to put in, which didn’t really start helping until last night.  I had some thick gel eye drops that I put in right before bedtime and when I woke up this morning I felt 150% better!!  Oh happy day! I still didn’t wear makeup to work today but I don’t care – the pain is gone, so I’m a happy camper!!

Friday: Today I have a follow up appointment with my doc, and I’m sure things will be looking a lot better. Also this morning I donated to this cause, because even though money is tight, I still have enough to help someone in need. Won’t you help too? (See what I did there? I’m guilting you into helping, because hey, who can resist a little girl and her need for a goggie?)  Tonight I plan to ground the kids for an hour or so, so I can get a turn on the Wii Fit and get my sweat on. I’m thinking of instituting a Friday night Wii Fit Plus Night at the SassyPear house because it would be more fun and more productive than just sitting around watching TV all night like I usually do. We’ll see how tonight goes.

So that’s been my week. How was yours? Anyone else a big baby like me when it comes to getting hurt? Anyone else tried Boot Camp? Love it? Hate it? Chime in below!

Posted by Jill in fitness