A new day is dawning

So, almost 3 years ago I created this blog as a way to think out loud and talk about weight issues. Three years later, I am bored to tears talking about my weight loss (or lack thereof). I wanted to use this blog as a way to be accountable to myself and all of you reading, hoping that would help me lose weight. It hasn’t. I’m actually almost the same weight now as when I started this blog, so I guess you could say I’ve come full circle.

Instead of focusing on losing weight, I want to focus on all the other wonderful, awful, fun, boring aspects of my life. I think in doing this, it will help me gain a little perspective and balance and, God willing, will help me to realize that I am more than just a number on the scale. I really don’t feel like I have anything to say regarding weight loss that hasn’t already been said before and in much better fashion than anything I could come up with. There are A LOT of really great weight loss blogs out there  - my little blog is small drop in the vast ocean.

I could just talk about other things in THIS blog, but I don’t want to do that. I feel like I need to make a clean break and move on to something different, ya know? I’m not shutting down this blog permanently, and I may even post here again from time to time, but for right now I would really like to create a whole ‘nother dealio.

I’ve been thinking about this for awhile and even had a new name picked out for the new digs: Everyday Jill. But when I went to register it, that name had already been taken by someone who created the blog and then didn’t even post ONE SINGLE POST.  That just really irks me to no end.  So now I need your help if you feel so inclined…I need you to help me come up with a name for my new blog, a name that represents the everyday things that make up this little life o’ mine. I would be so grateful if you would turn on your creative juices and help a sistah out!  :)

So, what do you all think? Am I crazy for putting The Pear on the shelf or is this a good thing?

I want it NOW!

I feel fat. The seat of my jeans is a little more snug these days. My toes look a little pudgier than they did 6 months ago. My nightgowns don’t skim and flow over my torso like they used to. My cleavage is a little more full (I’m totally thrilled with that part, btw).

I don’t hate my body, I don’t feel like a failure, I don’t think I’m the scum of the earth because I gained 10 pounds in the last 3 months. I’m just not used to being this size anymore.

And that’s a good thing. Because I was at this weight for YEARS and I had gotten comfortable with it.  Not so anymore. I’m totally uncomfortable.  I’m more tired, it’s harder for me to get motivated, sex has lost it’s zing (well, sort of) and I DON’T LIKE IT.

The most frustrating part of this is that it is really hard for me to accept that it’s going to take at least 3 months to get this weight off. I want it off NOW! I want to wake up tomorrow, step on the scale, and see 155 pounds. I want to wear my skinny jeans again. I want to drown in my nightgowns.  I want to wake up and look in the mirror and think “my husband has a smokin’ hot wife”.  I’m not so good with the “being patient” thing.

Think anyone would notice if I changed my name to Veruca Salt?

(source)