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A 40-something woman trying to lose 40-something pounds

Monthly Archives: November 2009

I have a ton, A. TON. of work to do at home, but last night I spent 2 hours with…a book!! I checked out The Time Traveler’s Wife from my library last night after work and instead of cleaning or doing any prep cooking, I chilled on my bed and read. Would it shock you to know that it has been MONTHS since I read a book? Well it shocks me. I love love L O V E reading and for some reason, it has been one of those things that I have just ignored. When I picked up that book and before I had even made it through the prologue, I felt like I took in a big breath of air and finally remembered to start breathing again. For several weeks now, I have felt like I have been figuratively holding my breath, all the while literally taking only shallow breaths. That’s what I do when I’m tense or stressed or just generally unhappy – I forget to breathe deeply. I think my body instinctively knows this and this is why yoga has been on my brain so much lately. Seriously, on Mizfit’s site I mentioned a conversation that I had with myself one morning last week on the way to work:

Seriously? Girl, how do you know? Cause these were my exact thoughts as me and my bad ‘tude were driving to work this morning: “I need to take a frickin yoga class or something. I need just one small chunk of time where I’m not doing something for someone else! Is that too much to ask??? Yeah, I need to do some yoga and just make it a rule that NO ONE is allowed to bother me during that time!!! I NEED SOME FRICKIN YOGA!!!”

Totally not kidding. That was the convo I had with myself this morning.

And lo and behold, I won the yoga mat that she was giving away! I think God is telling me in not so subtle ways to CHILL THE HECK OUT!!! I am excited about my yoga mat, and I’ve checked into some yoga classes nearby, but I think I might just get a yoga DVD to start with (you guys have any favorites?).

ANYWAY, back to the book…about a month ago, I had gone to the library to check out TTTW, but it was already checked out, so I put my name on the “Hold” list and after a few weeks, I got the call that it was my turn! So I high-tailed it to my local library and got my book. Just holding the book in my hands made me happy and when I finally turned the pages to the beginning of the story, I felt the muscles in my shoulders relax, and a very peaceful, happy feeling floated down from the sky and wrapped me up inside it. Seriously, that’s what it felt like. Corny, I know, but I don’t care. I’m just so freakin happy to have a good book to read!

I haven’t seen the movie yet, and I’m not sure I will. The librarian and I were talking about books vs movies (just saying that makes me feel so smart!) and she said something that I thought was interesting: she said, “Be careful which one you experience first, because that will be the one that you remember most”. So if you see the movie and then read the book, you will be holding the book in the light of the movie, and vice versa. This is why people always say that the book is better than the movie, because the book comes out first and everybody reads it, then they see the movie and the movie doesn’t match the experience they had in their heads when they were imagining the book. That’s just my two obvious cents.

So yeah, I’m a happy camper, and I’ve stopped worrying about Thanksgiving Day – what gets done, gets done, and what doesn’t get done – well better luck next year. Thanks to all of you who gave me great advice and just generally joined me in my pity party. I’m over it now and I think the addition of a big bottle of wine while I’m cooking tomorrow will make the day just a touch happier! I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving, or as you Canadians like to call it: Thursday. Either way have a great day! :)

 

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Okay, in lieu of another “I’m panicking and whining about it” post, I thought it might do me some good to post some things that I’m grateful for, ya know, in honor of Thanksgiving blah blah blah,.

I’m thankful/grateful for the following:

Coffee – ‘nuff said

• My 4 year old, whose latest favorite game is “can you guess how much I love you?”

• My mom – she is so unselfish and she’s like a walking cookbook. I can’t count how many times our phone conversations have started with “Mom, how do you make (gravy, chocolate pie, punch, etc)?

People who unknowingly provide me with an answer, an attitude check, or a good belly laugh (bloggers, I’m looking at you).

• My God, who always takes care of me, even when I have trouble remembering to trust Him.

• A really good song – the kind that can make you cry your eyes out or dance like a Solid Gold Dancer.

 

Things that make my life easier – my new front loading washing machine, my crockpot, staple-pullers, UnderJams, the “backspace” key.

• My husband – for various reasons.

Tim Hawkins – go look him up on YouTube – he’s HIGH-LARIOUS.

Lunch time.

 

Well that’s just an abbreviated list, but it is indeed lunch time and I’m hungry so I’ll stop there for now.

Have a great Tuesday!!


I just found out yesterday that I am hosting a total of 14 people for Thanksgiving on Thursday. I immediately went into anxiety-mode and I can’t seem to shake it. And so begins the stress that doesn’t end until December 26th. I always get this way this time of year, even though every year is the same – I worry about how my house looks to everyone else, I worry if we’ll have enough money for Christmas, I worry about getting everything done in time. I worry, worry, worry.

Funny thing that “worry” was the subject of our Sunday school lesson this morning.  I know that I need not worry, but yet I feel the tension in my shoulders and I can’t get the nagging feeling out of my body that “oh crap, it’s that time again”. 

Most of the things I worry about are completely ridiculous. For one thing, I really wanted Thanksgiving to be relatively easy with a small menu. Well, it’s already turned into one big food orgy with 6 kinds of pie! Seriously, do 14 people need 6 kinds of pie????   Also we are having 3 different vegetables (and no, they won’t be healthy  – they’ll be drowning in butter and creamed soups), as well as mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, bread, and don’t forget the turkey and stuffing, and if that isn’t enough, we are also having ham.  The thought of all that food stresses me out! Because none of us needs that much! Oh! Oh! Oh! Did I mention that my SIL wants to bring a cocout cake? Who has coconut cake for Thanksgiving?????

The bulk of the work is going to be on me, even though my SIL will be bringing a lot of the food, but it’s my kitchen that is going to get wrecked, and even before that I have to make sure the house is cleaned and all the laundry is done, plus I have to work Mon, Tues, and Wednesday, so it’s not like I’ll have a ton of time to get it all done. Why can’t the holidays be easy? Why does it have to be so much trouble? I think one of the reasons I’m so stressed about this is because it’s my husband’s family that is coming. My parents might come, but it’s doubtful, so I think that kind of takes the fun factor out of it for me. Entertaining Shawn’s family is very different from entertaining my family.

I’m so sorry I’m complaining and whining. I just really needed to vent and get this out and off my chest.  I don’t want my bad attitude to taint the holidays, so unfortunately for those of you who chose to read my blog today, my bad attitude gets to taint you.  :(   I promise I’ll make it up with a funny post sometime soon!


Hello Saturday Blog Readers! 

I’ve been thinking (a dangerous pasttime, I know) and when I’ve been thinking about one particular thing for awhile, it inevitably ends up as a blog post. Before the Smashed Finger, I was on a serious roll – cardio, strength training, tracking my food – I felt great and was happy.  For the last 6 weeks, I have been derailed – have flopped and fluttered and failed when it comes to working out, and it pisses me off because I know better. I’ve been reading weight loss/healthy living blogs long enough to know that when one is truly committed, one does not let life throw them off track.  Yet, I have thrown myself off the track. I don’t for one minute think that I will ever be perfect with it, but persistant and consistant is what I’m striving for, but I can’t even seem to conquer those two things. Ugh!  I don’t feel shame, just a sort of pissed-offedness that I let my focus get blurry.

This time of year produces a lot of anxiety for me (money,time,etc) and I know that regular exercise would help tremendously, but I am…I don’t know…afraid to start again? It’s a weird feeling, and not one I like very much. 

I am still doing okay with the upkeep of my house and so today I won’t have to spend 8 hours cleaning up, maybe one hour at the most, so I plan on doing some pre-holiday planning and lots of relaxing – I think I need this more than anything. Life has been hectic lately and I think I need some time to decompress. Maybe a trip to the library would do me some good -I love the peace and serene feeling of a library, don’t you?

Okay, going to get my day started. I hope you all have a fabulous weekend!

 

 


Hello! Remember me?  I’m the one who use to live for blogging and reading blogs, but since I’ve decided to devote my working hours to actually working, I don’t have 8 hours a day to read blogs anymore. I’d like to say it sucks, but really I’m so caught up at work it isn’t even funny. And the self-satisfaction of doing a job well is very, um…satisfying, so I think I’ll continue doing the job they actually pay me to do instead of using this time for my own personal endeavors (except for right now, because I am waiting on the next batch of papers to arrive, so I have a few minutes to spare – yay!). 

 

ANYWAY, the other night I had a really bizarre but completely fun dream:  Debby came to visit me and she brought along Annie, and we all went to Sam’s to do some bulk shopping (because apparently we needed 20 rolls of paper towels or something) and while we were there, we ran into June, who was having an argument with a teenage stock boy who wouldn’t help her in the fashion to which she is accustomed (I don’t know if June’s really like that, but that’s what was going on in the dream).  There was also something about Halloween costumes and big dinosaurs, and mattresses in the back yard, but that part’s a little fuzzy, so I can’t really explain all that. Now let me just tell y’all that Debby is one of my best blogging buddies and we have conversed many times, so the Debby part makes sense. However, even though I read Annie’s and June’s blogs every day, I’ve only commented once on both of their blogs and neither one of them would know me from Adam (Eve?) if they saw me on the street, so I can’t tell you why they were in my dream, except that maybe I instinctively know that we would all be great friends if we were to actually, ya know, go to Sam’s and hang out. I’m just saying.

 

Let’s see, what other weirdness is going on in my life? Oh, I finally jumped into 2007 and let my kids get a Nitnendo Wii. Yeah, we are way current with whole video gaming thing. Anyway they have been saving up for 10 months to get a Wii and we found a good deal on Craigslist (I loves me some Craigslist) so we got the Wii and have been playing it and Oh My Gosh I Am So Sore!!! I can barely lift my arms and my back feels like I gave an elephant a piggy back ride. I’m thinking of going professional in bowling cause I am crazy good.  Who knew?!

 

Oh! I think my original point of this post is to set a goal weight-wise for the holiday season. Do you all have a goal? If you don’t you probably should think about getting one – they’re all the rage these days. My goal is to get back to 155 (which I did as of this morning can I get a WootWoot!) and stay there until January. If I can just stay at or slightly below 155 for the next 8 weeks, I’ll be happy.  I think it’s good to have a goal, otherwise I’ll just dive head first into the first tray of Christmas cookies I see and not come up for air until Springtime. That’s kind of what has happened the last…well, let’s be honest, that’s what always happens. We’ll see how it goes this year since I have my Super Awesome Winter Holiday Goal or SAWHG for short. What’s your SAWHG?

 

Oh you may be asking why I needed to “get back” to 155? Well I gained about 4 pounds in the last month – not a huge gain, but again, I blame the finger incident. That really jacked up my mojo and even though I’m still not working out like I’d like, my eating has gotten better and I’m just a lot more active these last couple of weeks, which helps.  I’ve discovered that my whole house is one big gym. Saturday I reached the point of I JUST CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE and I cleaned my house within an inch of its 1700 square foot life. I spent the whole day cleaning but when I finished it was a thing of beauty! I burned major calories that day, and since I didn’t want it all to get messy again within 24 hours, I have been vigilant about keeping it picked up. That burns a lot of calories too, just picking up after myself and everyone else, and even though it is a lot of work, the satisfaction of having a clean and tidy house is worth it. I just hope I can keep up with it.

 

Since it’s been a while since we’ve talked about my hair, let’s talk about it again, shall we? It’s driving me crazy again. I know I am in need of a trim, but here’s the deal: my stylist T who I have been going to for 5 years now always gives me the same cut and style no matter how I tell her I want it. Don’t get me wrong, she’s great, but she is a big fan of the flat iron, so that seems to be her default – trim it and then flat iron it. I have been wearing my hair curly for some time now and frankly, I don’t have the time or energy to flat-iron it every day, so I really need a flattering curly-haircut, and I don’t know if  T can handle that.  So I ask you – do you have any good styles for me?  I’ll post a pic of the hair as it is now and you all can email me pics or suggestions or just post them here on the blog – whatever, just give me some ideas please!!  I’m growing desperate, and there has been talk of a family portrait in the near future, so I need ideas soon! Okay I just tried 47 times to upload a pic of my hair and it’s just not working for me, so go visit my pics page and you’ll get an idea of what my hair sort of looks like.

 

Okay, well that’s about all I can think of to blather about for right now, so I guess I’ll end it here.

 

Or not, cause I just thought of something else: I like shopping at thrift stores and I’m not ashamed to say it! There, I said it. I admit, I like getting clothes for dirt cheap and the last time I went I bought a ton of stuff for myself and my kids for $23! Yes $23!! Super cute jeans for Sarah, 4 super cute tops for me, some dressy churchy clothes for Matthew and a few other things made for a very happy me! Oh I got the CUTEST jacket for those nights out on the town – it made me feel so trendy! And did I mention it was DIRT CHEAP???? I loves me some Goodwill.

 

Okay, that is really all for today. I’m sure I’ll have more to ramble about later, so don’t forget to come visit me again, k?!  Have a great day!


I feel bad because I haven’t been commenting on many blogs lately. I used to be the QUEEN of commenting – that’s why I started my own blog because I had so much to say!  Now it seems I barely have time to read blogs, let alone leave witty, insightful comments, so please forgive me if I haven’t left any words of wisdom. I’ve still been reading when I can, and maybe soon I can get back to my regularly scheduled commenting.

I’ve noticed something about myself lately in regards to some blogs. The bloggers who really (seem) to have it all together, ie. they are eating super healthy foods and working out regularly…well…they make me feel bad about myself (Relax Debby, I’m NOT talking about YOU!  :)   ) Kind of like how I used to feel when I would read fashion mags way back in the day, except that instead of feeling inadequate about the size of my thighs, now I feel inadequate about the fact that I’m not eating raw, organic, non-processed foods.  I still eat crap y’all, way more than I like to admit (she says as she stuffs the funsize BabyRuth wrapper under the sofa cushion), and I haven’t worked out regularly in WEEKS.  I thought that if I read those kinds of blogs, that somehow magically it would rub off on me and all of a sudden I would be the type of mom who serves eggplant and spinach to eager veggie-eating kids. Um, yeah, that ain’t gonna happen, at least not for awhile anyway. I’ve decided that I’m just not there yet – I’m not ready to be there yet, and that’s okay.  I’m not that far along on my journey yet, so I think I need to just relax and deal with where I am right now. I like being in the trenches with my own people – the flawed, the ever-struggling, the “we will triumph…someday!” kind of folks. Where I am right now is fine, and I’ll continue to move forward, but without the guilt.

Wanna hear a weird story? Good.  A couple of weeks ago, I got a call from a guy I dated TWENTY YEARS AGO.  It was completely out of the blue and at first it was just a nice conversation, but then he mentions that he felt really bad that we ended things on a sour note and he wanted to make amends. It has been bothering him ALL THIS TIME!  FYI, I broke up with him and I don’t think I was very nice about it, so why he felt he needed to make amends is beyond me. And also, the sad thing is that this guy has barely been a blip on my radar for the last 20 years – I rarely think of him.  Anyway, he went on and on about how awful it was when I left the small junior college we both attended, and how it took him a long time to get over me, etc etc.  And then he kept saying gushing “Oh Jill it’s so good to talk to you” and “it’s so good to hear your voice” and “I’m so glad I’m talking to you right now”, and it was the tone of his voice that caught me off guard – it wasn’t a friendly, light hearted tone, no, it was full of emotion and that’s when I started getting really uncomfortable with the whole conversation.  Apparently, he has been looking for me for awhile, and he had his MOM track me down on the internet (believe me, it wasn’t hard to do – it’s scary how much info is out there).  He is married and his wife knows about me, but I don’t think she was very happy about him contacting me. I don’t know if he just needed to get some things off his chest or what, but the whole thing has me a little freaked out. Maybe I’m making this out to be more than it really is, but what really has me freaked is that he showed up on FaceBook last week, and he sent me a Friend Request. Of course I ignored it, but then two days later, ANOTHER Friend Request shows up from him!  I have a feeling he is going to try and contact me again. I hope he doesn’t, but I can’t ignore this feeling.  I’ll let you know if anything else happens, because I feel like I need to have this documented somewhere and I guess this is as good a place as any.  Fun, huh?!

Finger Update:  I went back to the Orthopod(is that what they are really called, or is that just some doctor slang?)yesterday for a follow up and now it turns out that I need therapy (shut up) for my finger.  They are going to do somethings to it to desensitize the tip since it is still very sensitive.  He also mentioned that I might eventually need to have some of the bone shaved off because there is a tad bit of protrusion where the bone is pushing the flesh up, but that wouldn’t be for awhile, if we even do it at all. I hoped the Finger Saga would be over yesterday, but I guess it will continue for a little while longer. 

In other news, I’m a big baby who has to sleep with the light on when Shawn isn’t home.  He is away on a hunting trip (attn stalkers: I have a gun and I know how to use it) and every creak and pop of the house has me on high alert. I fixed this problem by leaving a light on in the kitchen which shines into the hallway so if any intruders come into the house I can see them before they see me. That way they won’t know what hit them when I put a cap in their ass.  Cuz I’m crazy like that (when I’m not busy being a big baby).  ;)

Okay, well I guess that’s enough swirl for today.  Have a good Tuesday!  :)

 

 


Wanna lose weight fast?  Then listen up, TV viewers! You’ve heard of the Body Bugg right? Well get ready for the Stomach Bug! The Stomach Bug doesn’t count your calories or keep track of what you have burned, no, the Stomach Bug is different! The Stomach Bug is a nasty virus that settles into your digestive system and immediately eliminates any food or liquid that dares to enter your stomach! It’s completely natural and you don’t have to do any formal exercise at all!  It’s easy – hardly any thought at all goes into having the Stomach Bug, so you can lose weight without any effort at all! And it’s inexpensive – only one easy payment of $6.48 for a 12 pack of toilet paper is all you need!  Need proof?  Here is a testimonial from an actual user:

Jill says:  Yes, I lost 4 pounds in one day with The Stomach Bug, and the only side effects were the extremely painful cramping, the blinding headache, and the inability to eat anything for 12 hours even though I was weak and starving from lack of nutrition!!  Thanks Stomach Bug!!

 

So if you’re looking for a quick fix and don’t mind being doubled over in pain for 24 hours, then the Stomach Bug may be just what you’re looking for! Call now and we’ll send you a glass that Jill drank out of so that you too can experience the nastiest of all viruses!!  Call Now!!

 

*****For the naive and gullible, I AM KIDDING WITH THIS!!! I do not recommend this as a way to lose weight!!! It’s disgusting and painful and just not fun at all, so please people, stay healthy and lose weight the right way: move your @ss away from the fridge and go take a walk!!*****


It was a dark and stormy night. Super Agent Sassy Pear had received the package earlier that day, but had to wait until her unsuspecting husband had left the house before she could begin her latest secret mission. Agent SP stealthily made her way to the Secret Lair (which was cleverly disguised as an ordinary bathroom) where she could open the box in private. The box was plainly wrapped, but the contents inside were anything but ordinary, for this box contained the new Vaseline Sheer Infusion with Stratys3 lotions.

(cue suspicious ominous music) DUN DUN DUN!

Secret Agent SP read the note from Secret Agent Katie who worked for the very prestigious RocketXL Agency (cleverly disguised as a PR firm) and finally understood the mission at hand: test the lotions and give her opinion – the good, the bad, and the ugly truth – she was to hold nothing back.  This would be difficult for Agent SP, for she truly wanted to love these lotions, all of them, but with such a complex name as Stratys 3, she wasn’t sure what to make of it. She flipped the lid open on the first scent: Vitamin Burst, and it was as she expected – a burst of citrus, but not overpowering, which was a good thing because she didn’t want to smell like her furniture cleaner. Next up was the Botanical Blend, the familiar waft of flowers filled her nose. Nice, but Agent SP isn’t really a flower girl, not since she gave up the life of a hippie chick all those years ago. Finally was the Mineral Renewal. Hmmm, “What does a mineral smell like?” she thought, as she lifted the bottle to her perky upturned nose.  “Ahhh, it smells like heaven!” A little tropical, she recognized the hint of plumeria and was instantly transported back to the mission in Hawaii where she had a secret tryst with Kai, the secret agent stationed there. She remembered his soft silky hands and the way he lei’d her that evening… The rest of this sentence has been edited for content and time and complete irrelevance to the product review at hand.

 *Ahem, is it a little warm in here? Sorry!*

Anyway, Secret Agent Sassy Pear then put the Stratys 3 Sheer Infusion lotion to the real test: The Skin Test.  She applied the lotion to her dry, thirsty skin. It went on smooth and absorbed quickly, and then she went to bed – if the lotion could pass the all night sheet and blanket test, she would be sold. Agent SP awoke the next morning and ran her hand across her arm – it still felt silky smooth! She wore the lotion every day for the next week, trying the different scents but always coming back to the Mineral Renewal because of  the warm thoughts of Kai  the wonderful scent. The three varieties seemed to work the same, but there was one thing that troubled Agent SP. She really didn’t want to say anything negative about the lotion of which she had become rather fond, but more than anything she wanted to be honest, so she forced herself to face the truth. The only drawback she could find was that the Stratys 3 seemed to work a little too well.  While her skin felt wonderfully moisturized, whenever she put on her Secret Agent Clothes her skin felt a little too dewey. Not sticky or greasy, just …damp, which she guessed might be a good thing for someone with very very dry skin, but for her was a little much.  She decided she would probably really like this in summer when shorts and tanks are in season, and she might even need it during the cold hard winter when her skin begins to resemble that of Super Agent Allie Gator.

Agent SP decided that she liked the lotions for occasional use, like after shaving and even after the elusive “bath after the kids have gone to bed” which doesn’t happen nearly as often as she would like. She also decided that she would make known the secrets of Stratys3 to all the Other Secret Agents who might be reading this Super Secret Message: WARNING! This message will self-destruct as soon as you have finished reading it!! (Well not really, but it sounds good) Secret Agent SP hoped that her collegues had their  Little Orphan Annie Secret Agent Decoder Rings out so they could decode this not-so-secret message:

New Vaseline® Sheer Infusion™ with Stratys-3™ body lotion is a breakthrough in moisturizing technology that delivers superior moisture across all skin’s layers of skin.

Stratys-3™, the most powerful, patented moisturizing complex on the market, combines three ingredients that infuse and suspend moisture across the skin’s top, core and deep down layers. This results in unprecedented hydration leading to better, more healthy moisturized skin and an unmatched silky skin feel.  Clinical studies show that more hydration leads to improved skin softness, smoothness and quicker elimination of dry skin.

More information on this new Super Agent of Moisturizers can be found at www.vaselinesheerinfusion.com. All the pertinent info plus  cool videos, coupons and a spa getaway contest are located there.

Super Agent Sassy Pear was satisfied that she had completed her mission successfully – and she wondered what her next mission would entail. She hoped it would involve chocolate and a certain Hawaiin Secret Agent, but only time would tell…



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