I have worked out exactly twice in the last 25 days, and both days I had to really talk myself into it. Granted the first 10 days I was not in a good place mentally (or physically – who knew that one finger injury would derail my whole body?) for working out, but these last two weeks have been about being out of the habit. Trying to get back into the mindset and habit of working out is HARD (not impossible, just hard). This whole time it’s been a matter of trying to figure out what it’s going to take to get me back to a place where working out is on my radar as a I go through my day and NOT a matter of beating myself up because I haven’t worked out for most of this month. I sort of instinctively know that I’ll get back into it; I’m just trying to get my head in the right place about it again. I’m pretty much over the days of shaming myself or being frustrated with myself for things like this – having that roadblock out of the way allows me to see that there are different roads I can take, I just have to decide which one is going to move me forward, and then I actually have to MOVE FORWARD.
Before the GFS*, I was journaling my food and doing cardio 4 days per week and strength training 3 days per week – I was on a roll and in the groove! All of that came to a screeching halt, and I have not done any of that in the last 3 weeks, except this morning I thought “what small thing can I do to move myself toward getting those healthy thoughts in my head again?” and I decided that journaling my food is the easiest thing I can do right now. So I did. Those thoughts are slowly starting to creep back in, and I like it -makes me feel better. Maybe tomorrow I can get in a good sweaty workout (it might happen tonight, but I’m on chauffeur duty for the kiddos, so we’ll see) and get it started again.
I was catching up on my Google Reader stuff and I read a post from Vickie in which she says:
”I have heard people say that it is easier to stop drinking – because when you stop – you don’t ever HAVE to have another drink. But eating is something that you have to do (and therefore harder – or hopeless as some people like to think). The difference for me is thinking of FOOD and NON-FOOD. Most people do not binge on food. Most people binge on NON-food. And it is possible to live a life of never eating NON-food again. Just like not drinking alcohol again.
Dingdingding! That was the sound that went off in my head when I read that. That’s not to say that I won’t ever NOT eat non-food, but for some reason it makes this whole eating-better/losing-weight thing a little more clear for me. Yes, I can realistically go my whole life without ever eating McDonald’s again and be just fine (probably better than just fine, actually!), so it IS possible. I like that.
That’s all the brainswirl I’ve got for today, I’ll check back in a couple of days – because it seems like there is always something swirling in my brain! 
*GFS = the Great Finger Smashing of 2009 (smashing sounds so harmless, but I think it sounds better than The Great Finger Injury where I Blew Out the Guts of My Finger Tip)
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