Grow up already!

My 3 day weekend was not so great y’all.  Oh, nothing terrible happened or anything like that, but my state of mind was one that I thought I had conquered a long time ago.  I went to my weigh-in on Friday certain that I was down to 151, maybe even 150 – I was feeling confident and just a tad bit cocky.  Imagine my surprise when the scale read 153.  What????   I felt like I had been blind sided or sucker punched – I was in disbelief.

 

And then it began – the slippery slope. All those bad habits that I thought I had overcome?  Not so much. 

 

I had a great salad for lunch but all the while I was still trying to figure out what happened.  It was almost as if I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t lost any pounds. It was weird. I had this defiant, pissed off feeling all day and then around 4 o’clock, I gave in to the dark side and dove head first into a giant box of Lucky Charms and did not come up for air until I had consumed, not one, not two, not even three, but FOUR BOWLS OF LUCKY F*CKING CHARMS!!!!  And so, I thought, “well hell, since I’m on the destructive roller coaster to Fat-ass Hell, I might as well have a fajita for dinner with about a thousand chips on the side” and then I went to bed feeling bloated and sick, berating  myself for  a) not losing weight,  b) eating so much and  c)  berating myself. 

 

And then it happened…the thing that had not happened since I was a kid.  The pain, oh, the pain.  The kind of pain that wakes you from a deep sleep and you know, YOU KNOW, that you had better get yourself to the bathroom PRONTO,  or very bad things are gonna happen.  I got out of bed and spent the next 20 minutes recalling all the Lamaze breathing techniques that I had learned 11 years ago when I was pregnant with my first child.  It was as if my stomach had said “oh so you think you can shove all that over processed, sugary-sweet crap in here and just expect to go on with your life?? I DON’T THINK SO!”  And I paid the price for my folly, oh how I paid.  

 

(Sadly, this used to happen to me a lot when I was younger.  I spent a lot of time alone and I used to eat and eat and eat until I was sick, and I would wake up in the middle of the night with horrible stomach cramps.  I did this fairly often until I left home and went to college.)

 

So of course on Saturday I straightened my act up a little bit and ate light most of the day and even got in a 20 minute power walk (it was better than nothing, even though I would have liked to have done 40 minutes).  And then Saturday night, the hubs wanted brownies…with pecans. Oh, and a frozen pizza.  And beer.  The kids were at grandma’s house and we just didn’t put a lot of thought into dinner, so we had an abundance of the above mentioned “foods”. I ate more than I should have, and that makes me so mad at myself because I know better, but I ate all that crap anyway.

 

So onto Sunday, where the self-sabotaging continued – yep, that’s right my friends, I let the carnage go on for another day.  It didn’t really start until the afternoon, and I really didn’t eat that much, but my choices were less than stellar.  Cheetos, more pizza, cookies, and Snoballs were the norm for yesterday’s nosh. Once again I went to bed last night feeling horrible, but with the thought that it’s time to grow up and start being responsible in my choices.  My weekend binge was one of a defiant child who ate out of spite.  Let’s face it, I haven’t been a child for a long, long time, so why do I think I get to act like one when it comes to food?  I hate how I felt all weekend, and I don’t understand why I went off the deep end like I did.  I really thought I had most of my food issues under control, but this just shows me that they are right under the surface and it doesn’t take much for them to come bubbling up into existence. For at least 7 of the last 9 months, I have really worked on changing my eating habits, but the last 2 months I have felt myself sliding back again and not making as much of an effort as I should.  I’m going to the store today to stock up on some healthier foods that I like, and want to focus on making healthy meals for the rest of the week (with Thursday being the exception) because I realize now just how easy it will be to gain all the weight I have lost.  And I cannot let that happen.

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Being oppressed by The Man (who signs my paychecks)

I have so much I would like to blog about today, but just don’t have time.  There are some fabulous posts floating about the nets today and although I would love to give you all a long drawn out synopsis of each of them, The Man pays me to do work instead of blogging.  I’ll just give you all the links and you can make your own informed judgements, but I hope you’ll think they are as great as I do.  So on to the linky love:

 

This blogger has a great post on battling the scale during the holidays.  Great suggestions for dealing with holiday food and such.  And be sure to read In The Beginning in the left sidebar – so funny!!! 

 

Another post on keeping it in control during the season of goodies, but this one focuses on staying sugar-free.  There are some great tips in there whether or not you have syrup coursing through your veins (like me).  After you read it, scroll down and read this post about generosity.  It’s not what you think – she talks about being generous to yourself!  This is something I need to contemplate because I am sooo not generous to moi-self.  If I were, I’d be wearing these. 

And one from the lovely Charlotte – great post about making mistakes. And who doesn’t do that???  Lots to learn here. 

 

Well that’s all I can think of for right now.  If you have read (or written) a post that is particularly thought-provoking, please feel free to share it below.   

 

Oh and Thursday is the new Friday – I’m sticking it to The Man and taking a day off tomorrow, so I may or may not possibly post tomorrow.  Just depends on how many friends are free for visiting!  =) 

 

            Check ya layta!!   :)

Question of the week – this is very important!

loldogs, cute puppy pictures, my hair, I Has a Hotdog

 

I don’t have much to talk about today because a) I haven’t done anything embarrassing lately and 2) I have a headache that is making it hard to think too much.  So I will ask the most pressing question lingering in brain today:

 

What do you do for dry hair? 

 

I told you I’m not thinking too hard today. 

 

Seriously, my hair is really dry and usually a trip to the salon and my uber-talented stylist would fix me right up, but since I can’t get an appointment for another 2 weeks (Hello Holiday time), I need to come up with an at-home solution.  My hair is shoulder length and very fine, but very dry for some odd reason (it could be the Suave shampoo I’ve been using since my daughter stole my Bath & Body Works shampoo – little thief. But her hair looks great.).  I’m looking for something inexpensive, but pampering at the same time.  Any ideas, oh great readers???  

 

I am so Stella right now.

Wow. These last couple of weeks have been trying for sure, but also good.  I’ve learned some things about myself I didn’t know and I remembered a few things I had forgotten too.  Since I’m a little bit crunched for time, I may be skipping around and this might seem a bit rambly, but just go with it okay? 

 

I took a vacation day on Tuesday and it was one of the best days I have had in a long, long time.  I got to take the kiddos to school (I usually leave for work before they wake up in the mornings, so getting to see them before school was a treat for all of us I think), then watch my daughter walk in the “Vetrinarians” Day parade, have lunch with my husband, and then I cleaned out a closet and sold some clothes to the consignment store for $40.  Nothing big or exciting, but I felt good the whole day and the hubs and I got to spend some time together and it was just a really great day all around.  I think one reason it all went so well is because after I took the kids to school, I came home and instead of doing housework, I took an hour for myself and read a book with a cup of peppermint mocha by my side.  Taking that one hour to do something for me seemed to quiet the bubbling anxiety just under the surface, and allowed me to just enjoy the day.  I will treasure that day for a long time. 

 

Since that day, I have kept in mind that taking time for me is good for everybody I live with, so I have been using that as an incentive to get on the treadmill.  It really helps keep Mommy Dearest at bay and I can deal with the stress of every day life a lot better.  Last night while I was walking and the tunes were thumping through my skull, I realized that I missed the invincibility and power I feel when I am really working it hard.  (I wish I could do something to remind myself of how great I feel when I work out, so that when I am tempted to slack off – like I have that last couple of months- I can just look at that “something” and say, oh yeah, THAT’S why I work out!!)  I felt it last night and I’m counting on that feeling to keep me coming back for more.  I’m going to try and walk tonight and then again tomorrow because we have a big company dinner planned for Saturday night and I don’t want to feel one bit bad for indulging (I don’t plan on pigging out, but I want to really enjoy my food while I’m there!). 

 

I haven’t been to an official weigh in with the Nurse Nazi this week, but my scale this morning said…..(wait for it)……151! 

 

Hello, my name is Stella, and this is me getting my groove back. 

 

Because everyone likes a quickie in the morning

Get your minds outta the gutter, people!!!  I’m talking about a quick post!!  Because a quick post is better than no post at all, right? RIGHT?  No? Oh well…

 

It’s been a little while since we’ve had a Natalie Dee cartoon here lately and this one made me giggle this morning.  Oh, that Natalie – she kills me!!

 

 

 

 

In other news…I found this via Charlotte at the Great Fitness Experiment.  It’s a scale that doesn’t tell you the number, only if you gained or lost.  I think it’s genius and who wouldn’t want someone cheering for you everyday??  The only drawback is the cost ($80).  If I didn’t have a mortgage and a car payment and kids, I would totally buy it.  But instead, I bought this.  Because my Will Ferrell obsession must be fed. *grins at MizFit*

 

Okay, well that’s all I got for today because a quickie should be short. Otherwise it would be called a longie…ew, that sounds gross. 

Super Quick Short Post Just to let y’all know I’m alive

Holy Internal Audit Batman!!  My life the past 6 days has been crazy-busy!!  Internal audits at work that resulted in a couple of 10 hour days + a couple of minor home improvement repairs at home + 2 wicked fights with the hubs = not a very damn good week.  This week isn’t looking much better either.  I’m PMSing like crazy (hence the fights with the hubs) and now I’m playing catch up at work because those 2 audit days were spent with me taking 12 pages of notes. 

 

CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!!!

 

Which leads me to my first question…what’s a good red wine for a novice wine drinker??????  My bff D suggested La Crema Pinot Noir, haven’t tried it yet, but it sounds yummy.  I tried the Turning Leaf Merlot…I will not be trying that one again. Anyone have a favorite that they would be willing to share? 

 

Got in one good walk over the weekend and one early morning walk last week, which brings my total workouts to…2.  I know, I mean I don’t know how I manage to make it look so easy, being Supermom and all.  I should probably slow down or something, I don’t want to be accused of being an over-achiever.  

 

Um, I don’t have a second question.  Sorry. Feel free to ask one in the comments though if you like. 

 

Okay back to work.  I’ll come up for air before the end of the week (I hope!). 

 

 

Dear Halloween Candy

Dear Halloween Candy,

 

Oh what a weekend we had!  Our time together was special wasn’t it?  I mean, I’ve never indulged so much in at least a year.  Our 3 nights and 2 days together was something I won’t soon forget, but I cannot let it go on any longer.  There is such a thing as “too much of a good thing” and Candy, let me tell you, you are too much of a good thing for me.  While our joy was fleeting, I fear the pounds and inches you left on me won’t soon go away, and that is why I must say “No More!”.  It causes me more pain and anguish than you can possibly imagine to have to do this, but I cannot see you anymore. We must part ways, at least for now dear Candy.  I must be strong and take a stand, because my health would surely suffer if we were to continue our tryst.  I’ve worked too hard and too long to be where I am today and I cannot let a little chocolate and caramel detour me off of my path.  But rest assured, my sweet H.C., that I do still love you and will think fondly of you until we can meet again in only 363 short days.  Until then, stay sweet.

 

Yours forever,

 

Jill