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A 40-something woman trying to lose 40-something pounds

Monthly Archives: October 2008

I finished it!! I finished the Jedi costume last night about 9:30 and I have to admit, it turned out much better than I had anticipated.  It all came together pretty easy and the only trouble I had was trying to sew the shoulder armor and belt which was made of some polyester blend.  That stuff is slippery!!  But I got it all done and the boy is very happy, so that makes it all worth it. 

 

Here are the pics:

 

Help me Matthew-Wan Kenobi, you're our only hope

 

 

 

Apparently Jedi Knights don’t smile and I’m pretty sure they don’t wear Superman pj pants, but it was bedtime and I wouldn’t let him change out of his pjs, so just ignore that part.  And for some reason, the red-eye reduction doesn’t seem to be working on my camera.  He’s really not a demon child; he just looks like one in these photos.

 

After I finished the Jedi costume, next came the arduous task of combing out the Hannah Montana wig my daughter wanted to wear.  This poor wig looked like a matted dog, but with a hair pick and a spray bottle of watered-down conditioner, I managed to make it straight and shiny – worthy of Miss Montana. That little task took about an hour so I didn’t get to bed until after 11:00, and I KNEW I would not be up for a run this morning, so I slept in…well until 5:30 when I had to get up and get ready for work. 

 

Tonight of course is Trick or Treating, but tomorrow after I clean Tornado Alley my house (I haven’t done any cleaning this week, and it shows!), the rest of the day is going to be all about me!!!  I’ve been doing things for the kids A LOT lately, so I’ve decided that I need a little spoiling – nothing big, just me kicking back on the couch reading a book and if I feel like it, maybe a little shopping, and definitely a run. I’m ready for a break!!

 

Oh I almost forgot!  I went to see the Nurse Nazi yesterday after being MIA for a month and weighed in.  I lost a pound so I’m down to 153 – woohoo!!  One pound in a month is not great, but I had to fight for that one pound, so I’m happy!! 

 

Hope you all have a great weekend and remember to eat a couple of pieces of your favorite candy! (I said a couple of PIECES, not a couple of bags!!)  J

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You may now refer to me as EB (Early Bird).

 

Yes friends, I did it.  Got myself out of bed at 4:35 this morning and ran because I am awesome and have super powers.  Okay I don’t really have super powers and I’m not all that awesome, but I did get up early and get on the tmill.  How did I do it?  All because of one magical number:  9:30.  Okay that’s three magical numbers, but that’s the time I went to bed last night.  I was folding laundry and noticed I still had lots to fold, and then I remembered the dishes in the sink, and instead of killing myself trying to get it all done I just said “screw it” and went to bed at 9:30 because I was TIRED.  I knew it would all still be there in the morning (and it was), so I finished it all up after my run. 

 

 

When the alarm went off this morning, I actually felt awake but laid in bed for about 5 more minutes before I got up and got my stuff on.  I had time to drink some coffee and then I grabbed my water and my mp3 player and headed to the garage where my old friend Tready awaited me.  I went ahead and did Day 1 of Week 5 of C25k because there was less changing-things-up than in week 4.  I did great though and other than my treadmill’s computer acting kind of wonky (the display kept showing varying rates of speed), it was all good.  I’m planning on another run on Friday (God willing).

 

 

The Costume Update:  the Jedi robe is finished!  Now I just have to sew the tunic and shoulder armor and belts and it will be complete.  I have the pieces already cut out; I just have to sew them together.  It won’t be finished by tonight, but I don’t think the kids are going to go with the neighbors tonight for the Trunk or Treat anyway, so I’ll have tomorrow night to finish it (I can’t work on it tonight because we have church – I’m teaching a class to the 4th-6th graders – scary!).  So I’m satisfied so far with my progress.  I have to admit, as much as I bitched and moaned about having to do this, I have really enjoyed it.  I need to carve out more time for stuff like this – I’m actually thinking  of taking a sewing class at the local VoTech next semester (it’s only a mile from my house – bonus!!). It’s good to have a hobby.

 

 

Hope you all have a good HumpDay – only 2 more days til Friday – yay!!

 

 

 


Okay so here’s the bad news…there are NO Jedi costumes anywhere to be had in the state of Oklahoma.  Oh, sure there were plenty 3 weeks ago, when I told my son I flat-out refuse to pay $40 for a Halloween costume. I even flat-out refused to pay $30 for one because come on – I mean have you seen how cheaply made these costumes are????  “I can make you one cheaper than that AND it will be higher quality” I told him. He just rolled his eyes at me until we couldn’t FIND one to buy off the rack last week. So we headed to the crafts section of Wal-Mart (the only place in my town to buy such things) and with the help of the super nice (really, she was) employee in that department we had everything we needed to make an awesome Jedi Knight Robe and Tunic and headed to the check out.  Imagine my horror when I realized that the pattern, material, thread, and interfacing came to a total of …(wait for it)…$50. FIFTY DOLLARS, PEOPLE!!!  And now, I have to SEW THE THING TOGETHER!!!  I have some sewing ability, as in I can sew a straight seam, but it takes me forever to get kinks knocked out of my old (30 years to be exact) sewing machine before I even sew one stitch. Don’t get me wrong, I like sewing, I do, but I like it when I have lots of time to devote to ripping out seams and re-threading my machine 50 times, but I only have 2 days to get this thing put together because our neighbors have invited our kids to go to Trunk or Treat at their church Wednesday night.  Debby, in case you have any weird sensations over the next couple of days, just know it’s ME channeling your sewing skills so I can get this thing done!   I’ll post some pics later this week – either of my son’s beaming face while he wears his awesome Jedi costume, or of me crying in a heap slumped over my sewing machine while my son wears a disappointed look for Halloween.

 

Anyway, the good news –I finally got my squishy azz on the treadmill Saturday to walk for a few minutes and was so filled with anxiety over the above costume quandary that I felt like I needed to run in order to get rid of some stress. So I did – FOR TWENTY SOLID MINUTES. Go ahead, read that again.  Yeah I said I RAN for 20 minutes! That may not be a big deal for you marathoners out there, but for this former fatty – it’s huge!!!  Never ever ever before in my life have I ever run for 20 minutes without stopping or slowing down or puking or dying.  And I gotta tell ya, I felt good the whole time. My calves didn’t cramp up into my knees and my thighs barely made a peep the entire time (okay other than the swish swish sound of them rubbing together). Just knowing that I could do it was the most awesome feeling – I half-hoped someone would hand me a trophy when I was done.  I made sure to stretch really well after, and yesterday I wasn’t as sore as I thought I would be.  My hip kinda bothered me, but other than that I didn’t have any problems. Now I’m thinking about starting C25k again, but maybe I could start with week 4 instead of week 1 – what do you runner-types out there think?  Bad idea or not?  I usually get bored and quit at week 4, but if I start at week 4 that might hold my interest more.  Whaddya think? 

 

My early mornings are not happening quite as early as I had planned, so I’m going to set a goal of getting up early only one day this week and I’m announcing it here so I’ll actually have to do it, because I don’t want to come here and have to admit failure AGAIN.  So this Wednesday is my targeted early morning work out day.  I’m going to get up at 5am or earlier and walk (or run) for 30 minutes before I have to get ready for work that day and I’ll come here and report to you my success or failure.  Of course I may be pulling an all nighter Tuesday night trying to finish the What-the-Hell-Was-I-Thinking Great Costume Project of 2008, in which case I’ll already be awake and won’t need to set my alarm for the ungodly hour of 4:45am. Either way, wish me luck!!  And may the force be with me and my sewing machine.


My current fall off the wagon has reminded me of what life used to be like when I was Fat Jill, and I am reminded of how miserable I was, both emotionally and physically.  I don’t want to feel like that anymore (bloated, sluggish, self-esteem in the toilet) so I am taking steps to get my groove back.  I have decreased the crap and increased my fruit and veggie intake which has helped significantly.  I have to realize once and for all that I cannot eat junk all the time without suffering the consequences.  Once in a while I can indulge, but all day every day – not so much.  Also, on Sunday night I sat down with my calendar and planned out which days I would walk and when – Monday evening, Tuesday evening, and Wednesday morning with a break on Thursday and Friday, and a walk on Saturday mid-morning.

 

 

I am 0 for 3 so far this week.

 

 

My evenings are so busy from the time I get home from work until bedtime that trying to fit in a work out becomes stressful.  I began to resent all the things I have to do in the evenings (and the people I do them for) because there is just no *me* time to be had.  I was feeling bad about this until I realized that I wouldn’t feel so resentful if I didn’t have to worry about squeezing in a work out. So I made the decision to NOT work out after work. I can devote my evenings to my family and relax and NOT feel like a failure for not being Supermom. I’ll be the first to admit that, no, I can’t do it all (at least not from 4-10pm) and that’s okay. 

 

So when will I work out?  *sigh* you guessed it – early in the morning.  I decided that early mornings are going to be the most reliable time for me to exercise, but getting up early to do it is going to take some work, because typically I will hit the snooze button 3 or 4 times, and even then I wait until the very last possible minute to get up (I even figured out that I can stay in bed 10 minutes longer if I don’t wash and dry my hair – pathetic but true).  Getting out of a warm bed is almost painful for me, but if I want a healthy, strong body then I am going to have to sacrifice a few minutes of sleep in order to get it. 

 

Obviously just setting my alarm and having good intentions isn’t going to get the job done – I am going to have to use a little tough love and channel my inner Drill Sergeant. I believe knowledge is power so I powered up my computer and did a little web search on how to wake up early in the morning.  Turns out there are a lot of articles* with tips and tricks to getting out of bed early, some of them very useful (put your alarm clock far from your bed) and some of them a little wacky (put your alarm clock in a safe – by the time you think of the combination to unlock the safe, you’ll already be awake!).  The one I liked the best was to have a reward waiting for you, like having a low fat latte after your work out or a bubble bath.  Another one I really need to embrace is believing that exercise is important enough to get up for, that I am important enough to get up for.  I don’t just mean thinking that exercise is important, I have to believe that it is essential to living the kind of life I envision for myself.  And it is.  

 

I think that something else I need to change is my view of sleep.  I don’t know where it came from but I have this belief that sleep is almost…sacred.  Thou shalt not wake a sleeping person, thou shalt never ever disturb someone’s nap, thou shall tip-toe and be as quiet as humanly possible if someone is sleeping nearby.  I even get a little edgy if the hubs wants to talk at bed time because that means I may not get my 7 hours of sleep.  I have put sleep on a pedestal and anyone or anything that stands between me and my blessed slumber is treading on dangerous ground!  At the end of my life though, will I remember how much I slept or will I remember the meaningful talks I had with my husband, or the awesome feeling of finishing a run before dawn? 

 

For those of you who have been reading for awhile, you know my aversion to the term lifestyle change…but I think I understand what that term really means.  It has nothing to do with food; it has to do with the actions I take everyday to live a healthier, fitter life.  So as much as I hate to admit it, I do need a lifestyle change (you have no idea how much I hated typing those words!), and I am learning to make that change even if I have to do it one baby step at a time, and it may take me until I’m 80 to do it (*grins at Debby*), but at least I am going to try.

 

 

*I failed to record where I found all of these great tips, so I can’t give anyone credit for them. If you Google “how to wake up early” you will most likely find the same articles I found and would then know who to attribute each tip to.  And if you are the author of one of those articles, please accept my apologies for being an inept researcher!


This has nothing to do with what I had originally planned to post, but oh well. Here are just a few of my latest addictions:

 

House (we covered this in my last post)

 

Burt’s Bees Lip Shimmer in Fig (I’ve applied and reapplied it like, 36 times today)

 

XM Satellite radio – specifically the Flight 26 channel

 

My new size 12 Lee Riders with No Gap Waistband!  (Comfy AND cheap)

 

Grilled chicken (actually anything grilled these days)

 

Natalie Dee (but you already knew this)

 

Almonds

 

Dole’s new line of salads (I can’t remember the specific name) – they come in all sorts of fun flavors like Autumn Harvest, Asian something, and others that I haven’t tried yet.

 

Coffee (the old standby)

 

Sleep (may I never, ever conquer this one!) 

 

 

So tell me my friends – what are your current faves?  What are the things you can not live without? 

 

 

 

 


Hey yall!!  I have lots to post, but no time.  I will say that I FINALLY got on the treadmill Saturday and had a great walk.  Am trying to focus on “think how good you’ll feel when you’re done” and less on “I’m tired and have no time”.  Really, will my little family suffer because we have dinner at 7pm instead of 6:30?  I think not. 

 

I’ll try to create a meaningful post worthy of your readership tomorrow…or Wednesday. Whenever I get a chance! 

 

Peace out.


Well, I’d like to say I hit it hard and had two days of hard core, heart pumping cardio and am now back in the groove.  I’d like to say that…but…it didn’t turn out exactly that way.

 

Early Saturday morning (like 3 am early) the hubs got up to go fish in a tournament an hour away, so after kissing him goodbye, I went back to sleep until 4 am when the Priss came in and crawled in bed with me.  For the next 3 hours she tossed and turned and moaned and groaned and whined and cried because her tummy hurt, and she was scared of the dark, and she didn’t like my pillow, and she was thirsty, and she didn’t want the fan on, and she was cold but she didn’t want any covers…by 7 am I had had it and told her to either straighten it up or go back to her own bed – 5 minutes later we were both asleep.  At 9:30 the wee porker was screaming “FEED ME NOW” so I had to get up and bottle feed the demanding feline.  I swear I felt like I had a hangover, without the benefit of a good time the night before.  Have you ever had that no-sleep-hangover?  This one lasted all day long – it took all of my energy just to take a shower.  So, no work out on Saturday, and you better believe I slept like a rock that night. In fact I don’t think I even moved all night long.  Sunday morning I felt better and fully intended to get on the treadmill, so I didn’t shower right away.  Actually I didn’t shower until about 6pm, because I cleaned the house, mopped floors, vacuumed, did laundry, washed the Yukon, vacuumed it out, Armor-Alled it, and then did more laundry.  I never did get on the treadmill, but I feel like I got a workout just from all the cleaning I did!  So I’m not too upset with myself.  At least I was moving and not sunk into the sofa all day (like Saturday). 

 

My plan is to do early morning walks on Tuesday and Thursday, and maybe longer walks on the weekends.  I got about 3 hours of sleep last night, so I am fo sho going to bed early tonight, so I should be able to get up and get it done early tomorrow.  Could you all just collectively send me some *wake up* vibes tomorrow about 4:45 am??  Thanks, I’d appreciate it! 

 

 

I am also having a hard time drinking enough water – all I ever drink is water, so you would think this wouldn’t be a problem, but lately I can go for hours without a drink.  Then all at once I notice that I am dying of thirst and guzzle water like…well, like I’m dying of thirst.  So, in addition to walking regularly, I also need to make sure I’m drinking enough water. 

 

I feel like this is a test – a test to see if all my healthy changes are going to stick even when life gets in the way.  It is so easy for me to say, “I’ll get to it tomorrow” and then tomorrow turns into next week, etc. if I let it go too long.  Is losing weight really a priority?  Is eating enough veggies and exercising regularly really important to me?  Is being healthy more important than being thin?  I’d like to think so, but honestly my actions (or inactions) lately seem to say otherwise.  Hmmm, I think I need to really explore this question some more, and find out what my real motivations are – more energy or smaller jeans?  That may be a post for another day.

 

On a lighter note, I think I’m developing a crush on Gregory House, MD.  The hubs even calls him “my boyfriend” because I watch it every chance I get (I am thrilled the show is in syndication!).  I started watching it because I think it’s hilarious that the same actor can play someone as sweet and genuine as Mr. Little, and then be a total (but strangely likeable) asshole as well.  I guess that’s what makes a good actor.  I dig me some Hugh Laurie. 

                          

(found pics on google images – hope I’m not infringing on anyone or anything – pls don’t sue me!)

 

You know who else I love, and have loved for ages?  Robert Downey, Jr.  Can’t help it.  Yeah, he’s been in and out of rehab and in and out of trouble his whole life, but that dead-pan sarcasm of his really melts my butter, not unlike Gregory House, MD.  Hmmm….sensing a likeness between the two…could it be that I go for sarcastic, dry-witted, smart-asses?  Maybe, but only in my TV fantasy life. 

 

So who do you love these days?  Not in real life, but in a 16 year old crush kind of way?  C’mon, you know want to dish!!!


Thank you all so much for your comments on my last post.  You are all so smart and I loved every comment and got something from each and every one. 

 

Miz – you are so right about being wiped out at the end of the day regardless of what time I wake up in the morning.  And I really do love working out first thing because then I don’t have think about it for the rest of the day, so I am going to try and MAKE IT WORK in the mornings.  Oh, also, I totally don’t blame you for not running in the dark – who knows what kind of scary things are out at that time???  I won’t even open the garage door when I’m on the treadmill if it’s dark out!! Yeah, I’m pretty much a big baby.

 

Melanie – the word “acedia” reminds of the Acadia – the car of my dreams!!  I have been coveting this vehicle since my friend got one last summer.  As far as the acedia, the best way for me to get over myself is to get outside and be with other people; sometimes I just need the reminder, so thanks for that!

 

Crabby Fake it til you make it is something that has worked for me in the past, and something I need to revisit again.  And can I just tell you that I got a warm fuzzy when you said “we’re pullin’ for you”? Well I did, so thanks!!  J  And Crabby girl, you don’t give yourself enough credit – your Remotivating post was/is excellent!!  I’m seriously printing it out and planning on rereading it several times today.  Thanks so much for the link!  Out of all the crustaceans, you rock the most!!

 

Laura – Dear, dear Laura – you my friend, are a freakin genius!!  I had honestly never thought about hitting it harder on the weekends and easing up during the week.  For some reason I have always had it in my head that I have to go 100 miles an hour M-F and then come to a complete stop Sat & Sun.  But your suggestion could actually work.  I think I could even do 2 days during the week and still be okay.  I’ve talked before about my all-or-nothing way of thinking and so a lot of times I think I have to work out every single day for at least 45 minutes and if I can’t do that then, well I just might as well not even do anything.  My logic is flawed, I know, but I’m working on it.  What I also love about this idea of weekend workouts is that I will have more time to experiment with different types of exercise – when you are limited to 30 minutes in the morning it’s hard to want to try something new.   This has me really excited and now I can’t wait til the weekend!  You da bomb. =)

 

Debby – You’re right about the habit thing.  I’m better about exercising than I used to be, but consistency is the one thing I still struggle with (obviously).  And I was totally asking myself what  was I REALLY looking for when I talked about being dissatisfied…I know it has nothing to do with blogging or workin out or anything like that.  I’m working on that too. ;)    It scares me how insightful you are!!!  =)

 

Sandy – hey there, welcome to the Pear!!  Dang girl 4 miles every morning???  I’m in awe of you.  I definitely think that I need something new to explore and I really liked your idea of trying of something different for 3 weeks – that’s about how long my attention span is before I get bored!  Great advice, thank you. 

 

 

Whew!  I can honestly say that I am feeling so much better and I am genuinely excited to try out your suggestions.  I loves me some bloggers!!!  =)

 


I sit here at my computer checking and rechecking all the blogs on my favorites list in search of…something.  I’m not even sure what I’m searching for:  motivation, inspiration? I don’t know.  All I know is that lately I am unsatisfied.  Maybe unsatisfied is not the right word…maybe apathetic? Not really, because I feel very strongly that I want to feel…something, I’m just not sure what that something is.  So I guess un-satisfied is the word (is it really even a word?) that is best used to describe my current mental/emotional state.  Blogging used to be a very satisfying experience for me, as was reading other people’s blogs (don’t get me wrong – I still love to read YOUR blogs) but the last few weeks, I just don’t feel the urgency to write/read like I used to.  How can I best explain this malaise?  Think of it this way, you know you want to eat something, but you don’t know what you are in the mood for, so you go from the refrigerator to the pantry and back again, hoping something will suddenly appear and you’ll say AHA!  THAT’S what I’m hungry for! Only, nothing pops out at you and so you wear a visible trail in the linoleum going back and forth between the fridge and the pantry.  

 

My intake of all things junky has jumped exponentially and in direct correlation to that, the number of workouts I have completed has dwindled.  I’m worried about this because as the weather gets colder and grayer, my desire to do anything healthy goes down the tubes, and I soooo do not want to regain any of the weight I have lost.  And it could happen so easily, I recognize that. 

 

Up until a couple of weeks ago, I was really consistent with my workouts and getting them done NO MATTER WHAT, and then Merry or Crabby (I can’t remember which one) over at Cranky Fitness asked the question “how do you stay motivated to work out” or something along those lines.  I was feeling empowered and rattle off my answer and from that moment on, I’m not kidding here, my mojo flew out the window.  And it hasn’t come back yet.  It’s like the universe said, “oh yeah? Feeling a little cocky are we? Well how bout we knock you down a peg or two!” and BLAM!  No more motivation.  At all. Anywhere.  I’ve eaten my weight in Cheetos and Oreos (and I don’t even like Oreos that much) and anything else I can get my hands on, and no I’m not even PMSing.  I know my lack of exercise is fueling my desire for sugar and salty carbs, which in turn makes me feel so sluggish that I don’t want to work out, etc etc etc.  It’s a cycle not easily broken, which brings me to the point of today’s post. 

 

Part of the problem is that I have only two windows of opportunity to walk.  Either I get up early in the morning (4:45 am) and do a 35 minute walk or I do it as soon as I hit the door after work. I have about 1 hour to get it done in the afternoon before the family demands set in, after that it ain’t happenin.  Lately I am so tired in the mornings, that I just shove my alarm clock under the covers so I don’t hear it, then I wake up in a panic and have to hurry to get ready for work.  If I decide to do it in the afternoon, I’m usually so tired by the time I get home that I just want to relax in front of Oprah and have a snack. 

 

Exercising at lunch time is not really a viable option because I only get 30 minutes for lunch and since I work in a refinery-type place, there isn’t a good place to walk. 

 

Wow, that sounds like a lot of excuses, I know, but really this is what I’m working with here.  So tell me, oh wise and all-knowing blogosphere, what do I do?  How do I overcome this?  Really if I could have MizFit come over, drag my azz out of bed every morning and direct me in a heart pumping workout,  that would be great (you don’t mind do ya Miz? Texas is right next to Oklahoma!).  But other than that, what would you suggest?  I want to hear from you on this one, so let’s have it, people!  Help a sistah get her mojo back!! 


SPLIT PERSONALITY

 

Since I have lost weight this year and have been extra mindful (most days) of what I eat, I have developed a split personality.  The first personality, and the one who has ruled my life for the last 37. 5 years, is named Habit.  Habit is the one who takes over when I’m tired or when I’ve had a bad day.  If there is a plate of cookies on the counter, Habit will absentmindedly reach for one (or six) and blissfully consume those cookies without a thought, because a)they’re there and b)they’re cookies.  However, since about June or July, a new personality has emerged and her name is Fortitude.  Fortitude is the one who stops me and says “you don’t really want that, you’re just doing it out of Habit”.  She’s also the voice that I hear (yeah, I hear voices, don’t you?) when I really want to watch Oprah in the afternoons, but I know I need to get on the treadmill instead.  Fortitude is matter of fact, no nonsense, and knows how to get the job done.  Sometimes Habit and Fortitude argue back and forth like insolent siblings.  For example, this is part of the conversation they had last Friday afternoon:

 

Habit:  Ooooh, mini-donuts!!  I need some!!

 

Fortitude:  No you don’t.  You’re not even hungry.

 

Habit:  But they’re mini-donuts.  Who can resist a mini-donut?

 

Fortitude:  You can.  You don’t want them really, it’s just a knee-jerk reaction to reach for them. 

 

Habit:  But I love them.  And they look so fresh and inviting.

               

Fortitude:  Think about eating one – I guarantee it won’t taste as good as you hope it will.  You aren’t hungry, and you don’t even really want one – I promise.  Just let it go.

 

Habit:  This is hard, but maybe you’re right.  What if I just eat one, just to make sure…

               

Fortitude:  (loudly) BACK AWAY FROM THE DONUTS MA’AM.  YOU DON’T WANT THE DONUTS!!

 

Habit:  Damn.  Stupid Fortitude, always wrecking my party. 

 

Fortitude:  Yeah, but without me, you wouldn’t be wearing smaller jeans.  So there.

 

 

So Fortitude won that battle, but I’m sad to say that Habit got her way yesterday when faced with a lazy Sunday afternoon and a bag of Cheetos and Double Stuff Oreos.  But it’s all good because Fortitude is gonna kick Habit’s tail on the treadmill this afternoon (it has to be this afternoon, because Habit is kicking Fortitude’s tail in the mornings – just can’t seem to do the morning workout lately).   

 

THE KITTY PICS

 

Here are pics of lil Smokey, the newest member of the family.  He’s kind of a pain, but oh so cute! 

 

puffy lil furball

puffy lil furball

 

 

 

 

 

He's so tiny!!!

 

meow

meow

Cute baby kitty!!!



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