Reunited (and it feels so good)

This post has nothing to do with exercising or losing weight or food or any of that, so if you want to skip it, go ahead.  You won’t hurt my feelings.

 

The hubs and I have hit a rough patch the last few weeks (months) and things were getting pretty tense and miserable at the homestead.  Things finally came to a head early this week and we had a good fight, then a good talk, and then we kissed and made up, and kissed and made up some more ;). 

 

The problem?  A very common one – we took each other for granted, and stopped putting each other first.  He was caught up in his work and his hobbies, and I was caught up in work and the kids and the house and the laundry and church and everything else.  I had thrust him to the bottom of my list and thought he was okay with that.

 

He wasn’t. 

 

Like I said, we had a good talk and made some compromises, and promised each other that we would make time for us.  I get the kids to bed a little earlier in the evening and he has cut back on his hobbies, and it has made all the difference in the world. Remembering that we are still a couple within a family has helped us reconnect on a deeper level.

 

My point in mentioning this is to remind all of you to not take for granted the ones you love.  We’ve all heard it before, but I think we need a reminder once in a while.  Do something nice for your husband and see if it doesn’t affect you as well.  It makes everything seem a little easier when you remember that the one you love is on your side in the midst of the chaos. 

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Can’t even think of a title for this post

Go on over to MizFit (if you haven’t already) and read her post today.  Excellent post about gratitude – she’s gotten a bazillion comments already and it’s just 2:00 (CST).  Oh, and she’s got a cool giveaway to go with it.

 

Here’s a few things I’m grateful for: my husband, who is the love of my life; my kids; my family; my health; my job; good chocolate; coffee; shoes; and books.  There are many many things I’m grateful for, but these are the ones swirling about in my little world right now. 

 

What are you grateful for?

 

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I’m going to be totally honest here; I’m running out of things to say.  Blogging doesn’t have an urgency anymore like it used to and more often than not, I find myself starting a post and then staring at the screen for several minutes wondering what I should write about.  Weight loss is going well, so there’s no angst over that, I’m having a great time finding forgotten treasures in my closet that I haven’t been able to wear in a long time, and I’m walking and exercising regularly.  I just can’t seem to make the mundane details of my life funny or interesting lately (not that they ever were before).  Still not sure if a blogging break is in order, just maybe a new passion.  Something to pique my interest is what I’m after I suppose.  Anyone else feeling this way???

 

154

Yep.  That’s the latest number to come out of the doctor’s scale on Friday. 

That’s also the number that I got down to 3 years ago before I face-planted into a pan of Neiman Marcus brownies and didn’t come up for air until 20 pounds later. 

Why the face-plant?  Well, that go-round, I had been losing weight for various “events” in my life: a family reunion, vacation, 10th wedding anniversary, a wedding, etc.   Then all of a sudden I was out of events, and hence, out of reasons to keep losing weight.   I just couldn’t find the motivation to keep going, and I was Just. So. Tired. of counting Points that when the holidays rolled around, I went Ka-ra-zee.  It started with Halloween and didn’t stop until January.  I stayed at around 167 pounds for a long time after that, until I toyed with intuitive eating and gained another 20 pounds earlier last year. 

This time, I’m not losing weight for anyone or anything, other than my own satisfaction.  I have to admit, it’s nice when something comes around that I know I’ll be seeing people whom I haven’t seen in a while (like last Thursday night’s high school football game – I still love it when people have that shocked look on their faces!).  But I’m not actively looking at my calendar thinking that I need to lose x amount of pounds in x amount of time so I can look good at such-and-such event (okay well there IS the 20 year reunion next year, but I’m not *actively* losing weight for that).  It feels good to just be going at my own pace and not worrying whether or not I’ll be at a mini-goal or whatever.  I’m not saying it doesn’t work, I’m just saying it doesn’t work so well FOR ME. 

I’m averaging a 4-5 pound loss per month (and it usually happens all in one week, weird I know), and I am totally good with that, so I’m going to stay this course until I get to my happy weight.  All I need is my treadmill, my big-ass bottle of water, and oh yeah, my skinny pills, and I’ll be good to keep going as long as I need to.

Chocolate makes you smart and sexy!!

If you don’t believe me, you can just ask Merry at Cranky Fitness.  Who am I to argue with such sound statistics???

I didn’t realize I hadn’t posted since Monday.  My mood is lighter today and thankfully I didn’t have to shoot anyone to get it that way.  I think part of the reason I feel better is that I’m taking a vacation day tomorrow, so Thursday is the new Friday (at least for this week).  Tonight is high school football game and tomorrow is an outing with the kiddos (they’re out for parent/teacher conferences tomorrow).  So my weekend essentially starts today at 3:30 – woohoo for 3 day weekends!!

I’ve been walking every morning and guzzling water and staying on track food-wise, so I hope the scale gods will be kind to me tomorrow when I go weigh in.  I have been stuck at 157 for the last 4 weeks and I’m ready to see 155.  That will put me 10 pounds away from my goal weight.  I have played around with the idea of getting down to 135, but really I may just be done once I get to 145, because, ugh - thinking about losing another 20 pounds wears me out.  However the always anxiety-producing 20 year high school reunion is next summer and although I’d like to think I’m above all that, honestly I’d like to be smokin hot when I go, so I may have to keep on keepin on in losing-weight-mode.  Yeah, vanity and ego and fear are big motivators for me!

I think once I hit goal, I’ll start strength training, just to have something new and different to add to Maintenance.  I know, I know, if I start working out with weights now I’ll lose the weight faster, but I’m just not feeling it yet.  I need something to look forward to, kinda like Phase 2 of Rebuilding Jill (Phase 1 being the weight loss). 

Hmmm, that gives me an idea – new tagline, anyone?

Still here…

…still pissy. 

Had some great moments though – currently wearing pants that I bought 3 years ago when I lost weight after #3 was born.  Wearing them for first time today -yeah baby.

Decluttered the shizz outta my house Saturday.  Just got so sick of all the STUFF everywhere and so I went on a rampage and cleaned out every closet and drawer I could get my hands on.  My house is like the Junk Channel – All Junk, All the Time.  I mean really, does anyone need 6 huge flower vases??? NO!  And how many Barbies does one (okay2) little girls need????  I mean, COME ON!!  I did feel a little better after my cleaning tirade, so that was good.

I decided the afternoon work outs are not working out for me right now, so I’m back to early morning walks on the treadmill.  It’s nice to have it done for the day and not have to think about it anymore. 

 

Still pretty much pissed at the world right now.  I expect this to last until Saturday.  So feel free to skip reading my blog this week, unless you just are really into bitching and griping, in which case I will be more than happy to oblige you.

Somebody better get me a midol and a margarita or there’s gonna be trouble…

I am really annoyed with work today, but I am not going to blog any details.  Just know that I am really really really annoyed. 

I could be a grown up and just deal with the situation, but what I really feel like doing is stomping my foot, folding my arms, and holding my breath until I turn blue until I get my own way.  Yeah, I feel like being a big baby about the whole thing, so what? 

And the thing that is annoying me so badly?  A very small insignificant petty thing, but I am really annoyed. Not even mad, just roll-the-eyes-because-it’s-totally-what-I-knew-would-happen frustrated. 

Did I mention that I am also PMSing like a mofo????

 

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

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ETA :  I got my way-ay, I got my way-ay!!  You can not ignore the power of the pms vibe!!!  (insert evil laugh here) hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

Procrastination by perfectionism

I, by nature, am a big procrastinator.  Later is an often used word in my vocabulary and sometimes later comes and other times…well, it doesn’t.  I am trying to be better at getting things done right when I think of it – things like balancing my checkbook, folding the thousands of socks waiting in the laundry basket, and taking out the trash.  There are some things that I still dread and so I don’t get around to in a timely manner (read: I let weeks days go by before I do them), like mopping my kitchen floor, changing the sheets on the kids bunk beds (if you have never had to do this, you know not the torture it brings), or calling the insurance guy to change the deductible on our policy.  A lot of the reason that I procrastinate is because I have prerequisites that must be in place before I can do anything, for instance the entire kitchen must be clean and floor swept immaculately before I can mop.  The kitchen is rarely ever completely clean and most of the time I do a super quick sweep, so the floor usually doesn’t get mopped until I just ABSOLUTELY CANNOT STAND IT ANYMORE!!!!  Then it takes me all of 15 minutes to mop and I wonder why I waited so long to do it in the first place.  Go figure.

 

So what does this have to do with weight loss?  Well, for a long time I wouldn’t start a diet or workout plan unless all the pieces were in place. Here are some examples and tell me if any of these sound familiar:

 

·         I can’t start my new diet until I order the book from the internet.  It takes a week for the book to get here, but I have to read the book all the way through first, then I have to go to the grocery store and get all the necessary supplies, and only then can I start my new diet – so I’ll start in about 2 weeks.  (Heaven forbid I drive 30 minutes to the nearest bookstore and have my hands on a copy of the book in say, 30 minutes thus allowing me to go the store on the way home and start the diet tomorrow.)

·         I really wish I could start walking but a membership to the gym is too expensive and it’s too cold/hot/foggy/rainy/windy/warm/cool/outside to walk outside.  So I’m going to ask my husband to buy me a treadmill for Birthday/Mothers Day/Christmas – whichever comes last, and THEN I’ll start a walking program.

·         I’ve run out of diet food, and payday is still 5 days away, so when I get paid I’ll go to the grocery store and raid the produce section, but for now I guess I’ll just have to eat these Ding Dongs – oh that celery in the fridge? I can’t eat that because I’m all out of Laughing Cow Cheese wedges and I just can’t stand to eat celery by itself.  Peanut Butter? Don’t be silly – it’s full of fat and sugar!! (Hey, I never said my reasons for procrastination were logical!!) 

·         Well, now that I have my treadmill, I really don’t want to start exercising until I get some new shoes.  My old ones are so worn out that I don’t want to risk an injury walking in them, so I’m going to sit my fat-ass on the couch and wait for payday so I can go shopping next weekend and buy some new shoes, and then I can start walking on a regular basis. 

·         I just don’t have time right now to eat right and exercise because I’m so busy with this current work project/holiday/house project/raising kids thing going on, but when I’m done with that, I will totally start.  

 

 

Geez, looking at that list and all my crazy excuses, no wonder it took me 12 years to finally get serious and lose weight! 

 

My point in all this is, things are never going to be perfect.  There will never be a perfect time, there is always going to be some busy-ness that needs to be attended to, and there is always some holiday waiting in the wings. Find a way to make it happen, find a way to work with what you have instead of making excuses as to why you can’t.  There is always a way.  Let me repeat that, THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY.  You just have to be creative and find it. This is as much a reminder to myself as advice to you all.

 

So in addition to those I listed above, what are some excuses that you have used and how did you overcome perceived obstacles?  I’d love to hear! 

 

 

OMG!OMG!OMG!

DietGirl left a comment on my blog!!!!  DietGirl left a comment on my blog!!!!!

It’s like in junior high when one of the popular kids says “hi” to you in the hallway – and you didn’t  know they even knew your name!! 

SQUEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Hi Shauna!!  Thanks for stopping by!!  =)

 

Okay for those of you who have been tirelessly  searching, here it is:

 

 

Yeah, this is definitely MY song!!!  Grrrr!

Hold that boom box a little higher, would ya?

Feeling a little frisky today – it’s 60 degrees right now and these first few days when Autumn finally starts peeking through the Summer curtain makes me giddy with anticipation of new jeans and boots and caramel scented candles.  LOVE. IT.

 

I was taking a glance at DietGirl’s blog this morning and she brought up the question of what would your fight song be?  You know, those first few seconds when fighter is introduced and they play a snippet of some bad-ass song that gets everyone pumped?  Yeah, that’s a fight song.  So of course I was thinking about what my bad-ass song would be and here’s just a few that came to mind rather quickly:

 

 

The Police’s Every Little Thing She Does is Magic

U2’s Mysterious Ways

Coldplay’s Speed of Sound

Maybe even Abba’s Dancing Queen (not really for fighting, but I love this song anyway)

 

But really, the song that makes me want to smoke cigarettes and get a tattoo is The Cult’s Fire Woman.  This is the song my roomie D and I used to play when we were getting ready to go man hunting out on the town.  This song brings back the fondest of memories and it’s totally kick ass. 

 

Now if I were really blog-talented I would embed a 30 second mp3 of these songs for your listening pleasure, but since I’m not, I won’t.  You can run a Google search of these songs and I’m sure somewhere out there is a sample of the songs, if you feel so inclined to spend the time to find them.  Or you can just tune in to your local classic rock station and most likely find them there. 

 

So what would your song be?  It doesn’t even have to be a fight song; let’s say you want to hire someone to walk around behind you with a giant boom box over their heads playing your theme song everywhere you go.  What would that song be? 

 

In completely unrelated news, I told the hubs about my blog last night.  I thought that he at least should know, so I fired up the computer and brought up my site.  He asked what it was and I told him it was a weight loss blog, I write about weight loss and people comment on it, etc.  He said, “So you write little stories?”  “No, not really stories, I just talk about weight loss.”  He mumbled something about “weird” and “need to get a new girlfriend” as he headed to bed.  I’ll make him sit down and read some posts so he can get an idea of what this is all about, but for now he just thinks I’m crazy – which is nothing new. ;)  I’m glad that he knows it’s out there now anyway. 

 

In other completely unrelated news, there are 109 shopping days until Christmas.  Yeah, I know…me too.